Standard small town

Today I made a short visit to the dreaded small town earlier mentioned. Hmmm… was rather interesting. I survived though!

Hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t seen a Swedish small town, but for anyone who has, the pattern is familiar, big empty square, same shop chains as everywhere Konsum, Fonus and Systembolaget (in this case next door neighbour to the Salvation Army!) a slow pace of life and an impressing amount of old people with walkers!









To its advantage today was a very warm and sunny spring day, which makes any place look a little more pleasant, but still…



There are definitely some parts of the town that are very idyllic. Or as friends of mine would call it; it is an "idyllajävel".



What really struck me was the amount of old ladies with walkers. But as a friend later commented; those are probably the only people up that early in the morning without any particular place to go, so they might not be representable for the whole population of the town.

Women and shoes

Sometime I just hate my self for doing stupid things. Today I did something stupid, and was angry with myself, but then I was surprised how much support I got fot it anyway.
For four days I have been thinking about a pair of shoes I first saw in a shop in Zwolle. I absolutely don't need them and I don't really have money to spend on more shoes right now, but I liked them!
Anyway, I tried to be sensible and did not immediatly buy them. The day after I tried them on in Utrecht again, but still hesitated. Maybe one does not have to buy everything one likes, i thought! The day after that I had another look at them in Amsterdam, but still did not buy them. Yesterday I found out that my flight back to Stockholm today was not departing 12.00 as I thought but 14.20. Excellent I thought! That is a sign! I will buy the shoes. Leaving Ilpendam in time to go to the shop in Amsterdam and buy them before going to the airport I felt fine and happy about my decision. Unfortunatly I did not remember exactly where the shop was and coming out from the wrong direction from the Central Station I ended up in the very wrong place. I realised that and started walking back to where the shop must be. I did not have a map, but was dragging my suitcase with me so it took me quite long time to come back to the right street. I also realised I was running out of time, but at this point my stubbornness had taken over and I was not ready to give up my shoes. Finally I got the shoes and surprisingly they were 10 Euros less in this shop so I was happy. I took the tram back to the station but was very well aware of that I was short on time. Well to make the story a little shorter, I got the shoes but missed my plane!
Fortunately I did not have to buy a new ticket but they just rebooked me on a (much) later flight. I think this is due to the understanding KLM-staff! At the check-in and at the ticket couter I met nice women who completely understood my situation and found it quite natural that you can miss a flight because you have to buy shoes. "Women and shoes" said one of the nice ladies and smiled. So maybe I am not such an untypical women after all! :-)

Cleaning out my closet?

So, is there any statistical measure of how many clothes an average person needs? I actually decided to try to bring some order in my closet and yesterday while taking all clothes out (and putting most of it back again!) I counted the pieces of clothes I have. I somehow feel it is quite a lot. At least I got tired after having taken care of only one of my three closets. In this one closet I found:
20 knitted jumpers
13 cardigans
4 polo-/turtle neck sweaters
20 t-shirts
9 jumpers/tops
9 skirts
11 pair of jeans
7 pair of other trousers
Leisure and sports wear not counted!

And besides this I have two other closets like this one, packed with shirts, skirts, suites, dresses, jackets and trousers, a chest of drawers which contains most of my tops and t-shirts and an unknown number of cardboard boxes full of clothes in the basement of my parent’s house. Also not counted are the clothes just being washed or waiting to be washed (i.e. the clothes I actually use the most) and the clothes I keep in a big walk in closet at my parent’s place.
It seems quite a lot, doesn’t it? Is it normal? I have no idea. I just know I find it very hard to throw or give away any of my clothes, even though I am fully aware of that I only use a fraction of them. Maybe I would need one of those styling experts that come home to you and just pick clothes out of your closet (and give you new nicer ones!) A friend told me, however, that that is pretty normal to have a lot of clothes that you don’t use. Apparently the clothes in your closet fall under a rather general 80-20 rule, which means you only use 20 percent of them. Or how was it Karin?

The friendly dentist problem

I just cancelled an appointment with my dentist. In a way that should be a very normal thing to do, as I really can not make it that day, but I also told them I don’t want to come there for a while and that felt a bit strange. The thing is she wants to remove a wisdom tooth and I don’t want to let her do that. At least not right now. I have absolutely now problems with it now. I don’t say she is wrong when she says I will get, but I am fine now and as it is so extremely expensive to go to the dentist it is just not on top of my priorities right no. Let’s deal with the problems when they are problems. But I have another problem to: I started going to this particular dentist quite recently and I am quite satisfied and she and her husband whith whom she is working, are both extremely nice, but I have the feeling they are even more expensive than other dentists. Therefore I have considered to change and to try finding another dentist, but that is not so easy to tell them, as they are so nice. And here I discovered a problem I was not aware of: I don’t want to find my dentist nice! I don’t want to like my dentist as a person! I want her/him to do a good job, but I will still hate going to the dentist so I don’t want them to be my friends. At least not unless they are such good friend they give me a huge discount!

Modern Stalking

It is amazing what Google can do for stalkers! Not that I am stalking anyone, nor even googling people regularly, but recently I was sitting in front of my computer and was a bit bored and somehow came to think of an old ex-boyfriend. “Hmmm, I wonder what he is doing now” I thought and then I just tipped in his name in Google. I did not find any certain information about him, not like he had a private homepage or so. I did not even find a picture to prove that it was really the person I was looking for and not just another with the same name. But I did however find traces of him and they were clear enough to make me sure it was him. I found his name on the homepage of his work and that made sense. Not that he was working there those 15 years ago I knew him, but I think he mentioned that is what he would like to do. I also found some advertisements he had submitted in a local paper, all addresses pointed to the place where he used to live, these ads told me what sports he is (still) doing and from them I could also tell he and his girlfriend have three kids. From another advertisement a year later, I could guess they are not planning more children as he was selling some baby equipment… Then it got almost scary and I stopped googling. It felt as if I was sneaking into someone’s life and I felt uncomfortable. I am happy there is nothing to be found about me at Google. You will not even find this blog!

International Women's day

By the way, before this day ends I will have to make some comment on the fact that it is International Women's Day.
Not that I really know what to think about the fact that there is such a day, as I think every day should be women's day. Just as much as they are men's day or children's days. But anyway, as there are still quite some unjust and unequal treatment of the sexes I send a thought to all you intelligent, strong, independent, brave, modern and smart people -women and men - out there, who have the guts and energy to stand up for equal rights. Especially of course for all the women how still sometimes face themselves put in second place after a less intelligent, strong, independent, brave, modern and smart man, whose only exclusive quality is that he is male. You go girls! Fight on! Don't give up!

Shadow Sculptures

When I was in Malmö recently, I visited a gallery in the very fancy building Turning Torso. http://www.gallerimiva.com There I found some very nice sculptures (and very appropriate for the building!). They are made by the artist Randy Cooper and are bodies/torsos made of metallic cloth. http://www.randycooperart.com/galleries.asp?id=187
The very fascinating thing about them are the shadows the cast, therefore they are called Shadow Sculptures.
So if anyone would like to give me some nice present any time, this is a good tip! :-)

Riots??!!

It is fascinating that it always seems to be riots in Copenhagen when I am there. I don't know whether it is because there always are some kind of riots or if I just have been there too often lately, but I can assure you: I didn't do anything!!
We were not even caught by the police and did not notice anything..

Semmeltårta!

I will write this post in Swedish because it is about a phenomenon so Swedish you will not understand it unless you are Swedish anyway!

Jag vill nämligen skriva semmeltårtans lov!

Ja, jag gillar semlor och tycker att de är en av de få bra sakerna med den här årstiden, men semmeltårtan är faktiskt ännu ett snäpp bättre. Jag har ju vetat att de finns länge, men det är först i år jag upptäckt deras förträfflighet. Tidigare har jag nog tyckt att de är ett onödigt modernt påfund (ja, jag kan vara lite konservativ ibland jag också). Men det är ju fantastiskt smart! Eftersom man skär en lagom stor bit så kan man bestämma själv hur mycket eller lite man vill ha och slipper därmed den där äckelmätta känslan som man ibland kan få efter att ha tryckt i sig en hel semla. Dessutom blir det mindre andel torr bulle per portion eftersom man skär den i delar. Helt strålande! Ok, nu kanske en semmeltårta inte är något man sticker iväg och köper till sig själv, men är man några stycken så... Den räcker ju dessutom ett tag och så länge inte grädden blir äcklig betyder ju det att man kan gå och mumsa på semmeltårta längre! :-)

To blog or not to blog...

For being a blogger myself, I read very few other blogs, partly because whenever I do I feel like stop blogging myself. Either I find other people’s blogs so much better than my own, which makes me feel inferior and wonder why I am doing this; or they are so pretentious they just make me tired; or I find the other blogs so extremely bad and nerdy that I start to wonder if mine is too. Nevertheless, I will keep doing it for a while still.

However, the last couple of days, there has been a massive media debate about the blog of Sweden’s minister for foreign affairs, Carl Bildt. He has been criticized for using his blog to vent personal opinions on foreign policy and other issues in a way that would not be suitable for a person in his position and also for using it for spreading information without having to answer to the critical questions of journalists. Therefore I had to read his blog today and some of the comments there. I must say, I don’t understand what the fuss is about. Isn’t blogging just about giving a personal view on things? And I am quite sure he is smart enough not to reveal any state secrets on his blog. And isn’t a blog a perfect way to communicate directly to those interested, without the filter of not always very objective and unbiased journalists? Because I can not imagine that he would stop talking to journalists completely.

With all respect for some journalists, I have to say that many journalists and media in general have lost credibility. They seem to see themselves as a purpose of it’s own, never to be questioned themselves. Questioning a journalist sees to be the worst thing you can do sometime.

Without any other comparison between my blog and Carl Bildt’s blog, I see we have one thing in common; he started writing in English but has shifted to Swedish after some consideration. I have been thinking about that too, as I feel most of the readers understand Swedish and above all, I think the quality would increase if I did. But at the same time, I need the practise and I know some non-Swedish-speaking people read it every now and then and those are the one I speak to most seldom anyway, so I will continue…

To h..l with Luther!

Sometimes I feel that maybe because I am unemployed, “homeless” and single I should be sad, depressed and worried and I should stay at home, not enjoying things and be bored and feel like a failure. I think this is the feeling we in Sweden blame poor Martin Luther for. But you know what… ? I don’t feel that way at all! I feel as good as ever and I am enjoying life to the fullest! I feel sociable and use all my free time to visit and spend time with my friend and family. This weekend I am off to Helsingborg and Copenhagen again and will be staying down south a bit into next week to see a childhood friend I haven’t seen in a loooooooong time, outside of Lund. That will be great! I am also planning a trip to Holland soon, also to see good friends I haven’t seen in a long time. Another good friend is trying to convince me to go with her somewhere in April, around Easter, either to Italy or the Alps for skiing. I know I probably shouldn’t and that I cant really afford it, but I it is so difficult to say no to nice things! I have such a bad character! Or as a friend of mine said; “you have a character like an old junkie”. But what the hell, you only live once!

Today I went out for a long ride in the woods together with my sister and her horse. It was so nice although it was snowing like crazy. It was also a bit exciting as my sister’s horse is still young and a bit nervous and still not so disciplined. Therefore I was riding an older, well educated and reliable horse to calm the other one down. It all went very well until we rode along a road that borders a military training field, where they were practising at the time. My horse got a bit jumpy and nervous and only then my sister tells me that he is afraid of shooting as he happened to set off a signal mine just a while ago. No wonder he was scared! But it all went well and we had a nice ride.

All the snow gave me a nice wintry feeling I haven’t had all winter so far. It really made me want to go skiing!! Any suggestions for an affordable skiing holiday at the beginning of April?

Fear of being afraid

Oh, I got so happy when I read this article in SvD today: http://www.svd.se/dynamiskt/idag/did_14632526.asp. Unfortunatly it is only in Swedish and I can not translate it all, but it is about the importance of taking risks and the danger of overprotection. It is really true that sometimes the most dangerous thing is fear itself!

Lost in a virtual world

This weekend I spent quite some time with a good friend, who for the first time tried the game World of Warcraft. Although I am absolutely ignorant about computer games I had heard about it and knew it is very popular, but I did not know until this weekend that apparently more than 8 million people all over the world play it and I had no idea what it was all about. Fortunately this very good friend of mine has the patience of an angel and obviously didn’t mind having me hanging over his shoulder asking (stupid) questions (Thank you, if it had been the other way around I would have gone mad and killed “myself”). So now I know a little more, even though I still haven’t played it. What fascinates me is the amount of time you can/have to/will spend on games like this. I just don’t understand the attraction of creating a second character and live a virtual life. This is of course even more the issue in the virtual world of Second Life. I have never seen it but read a long article about it over the weekend and as far as I understood it is not even that much about fantasy anymore, but about creating a parallel world that looks quite the same as the real one. Then I am completely lost! What the hell is the point in living a Second Life parallel to the real one?? Aren’t people busy enough with this the first one that we live here and now?? How can life in front of a computer give you more kicks (if that is what it is all about) than real life?! To me it seems a little like having one of those Tamagotchis, if you still remember them. I just don’t get it!

Fear the small

One of my friends commented on the posting Small Town Death, that if the work is interesting and if I shall be true to my motto –Fear eats the soul- I should not hesitate but to go there (in case I am offered the job, that is!). Of course she is right. But it really made me realise that I am much more afraid of having to move to a small town of 18 000 inhabitants in mid Sweden, than being sent to any major town or capital in the world. I never hesitated a moment before going to Manila or Harare and I would not hesitate going back there to stay for a longer time, but this…. Oh it is scary! Strange isn’t it?!

The noble art of doing nothing

Sometimes people ask me what I do all day long when I am not working and if I don’t bored and restless. The answer amazes me just as much as anyone else; I don’t do much at all actually and still I am not very bored. I, queen of restlessness, don’t even get very restless. Which is probably a good thing. I am excelling in the noble art of doing nothing.

I, like I think most people, have some projects that never gets done, things you feel you should do some day when you have more time. In my case there are those plastic bags full of photos that I always say I will sort and put in albums one day, not to mention all the digital ones that I just store randomly in my computer, and of course I could always clean out my closet and send away all clothes I never use. I used to say I would do it a rainy day, then I change it to saying I would do it one day if I get unemployed or slightly ill, like breaking a leg or so. But I can tell you I haven’t done it this far and I don’t think I will. I think I will have to postpone it and start saying I will do it once I retire. Or maybe I should just accept my plastic bags and the chaos in my closet… Somehow that seems easier!

Small town death?

Ok, I did not expect this. Now I don’t really know how to handle it.

When looking for a new job I always say I am willing to move anywhere in the world where the job would take me, except to the northern part of Sweden, but there I didn’t count on finding a job for me anyway. When thinking like that I somehow assumed that all jobs that would be suitable and interesting for me would be in a big city somewhere in the world. Now I have encountered a somewhat delicate problem: I have found a very interesting job. In a Swedish small town! It is still at a governmental authority, but at certain times there has been an urge to decentralisation and I guess that is why you now find this authority in it’s present location. The work sounds really interesting and I was thinking that of course I can live also in a small town - I grew up in a small place - and set out to apply for it. While working at the application I just took a brief look at the official homepage of the town. And I freaked out completely!! I felt such an agony! I remembered all the reasons why I moved away from the place I come from. I just felt I can not move to such a place! I will die!! Now I am seriously considering what price I am willing to pay for an interesting job. I mean there are people who go to some god forgotten place in Kazakhstan for a good job, ;-) but at least that is exotic. I can not find anything exotic in a medium small town in mid Sweden. Help me!

Stressless

Maybe I give you the impression I really enjoy being unemployed and some might even think I am getting lazy and unemployable. That is not true at all! Of course I sometimes worry about my situation and wonder whether it really was the right decision to quit my safe fulltime state employment. That is however quickly cured by a short chat with any of my former colleagues… But of course I also worry about how long it will take before I find a new job and what kind of job I will find and so on. Still I try to enjoy this time of my life as much as I can. It was my own decision that put me here and I don’t count on it to last for very long and it has for sure hade some good consequences too. I feel I have learnt a lot about myself and about life around me.
Being unemployed and worrying is of course stressful, but still I feel completely stressless and relaxed. Getting out of the everyday stress opens up new perspectives. Just travelling the underground during rush hour has a new meaning when you don’t feel tired, stressed, worn out and therefore irritated and annoyed about everything around you. I don’t freak out whenever I miss a bus or a train and have to wait another five or ten minutes, and I don’t get furious when people push themselves around without apologising and I don’t get completely annoyed by people who behave irrational and stupid. Instead I just get a bit curious and fascinated and wonder what makes them act that way. It is a very nice feeling and I am quite sure it is because I am out of the everyday stress! Everyone should try it!

The non-working-people

It is a rather fascinating experience to be unemployed (for a while). All of a sudden you discover the world of the non-working people. Yesterday I went for a jog in the beautiful sunny winter weather along the water here. As the track was covered in snow and hence rather slippery I could not run all the way but had to thread carefully every now and then, which made me more aware of my fellow pedestrians. There were mostly old persons and parents with prams. Funnily I met more fathers than mothers, which made me think of one area where I think Sweden is still on top; Parental leave. Not that this really is any of my main concerns and I don’t really know that much about it, but as more and more of my friends have children and as I was recently talking about it with some non- Swedish parents-to-be I realised that Swedish parents have reason to be happy. (Of course you often hear them complain anyway but… ).
Listening to two of the men with prams that I met, I also realised something else. These men looked like very city smart professionals, but what I heard from their conversation they were not talking about the stock market or the latest merger but about sitting in a café and eating big cakes and buns. In Stockholm we have the expression “caffe latte mums” but there are obviously also “caffe latte dads”. I thought that’s soo cool! It must be so nice also for men to stay at home with their babies and spend time together with other dads, it must mean they discover new sides of themselves too. I feel sorry for those dads that don’t have that opportunity and maybe even more sad for those who have it but don’t take it.

Another category of non-working people are of course other unemployed, or those “in-between-jobs”. As I have never been unemployed before I found it really hard to somehow identify myself with the average image of being unemployed, but now I have met other peoples who temporarily don’t work, but still are so busy. There are so many creative and imaginative people who make a good living without being employed. I whish I was more creative and innovative and had more entrepreneurial skill myself. But I think I will have to settle for finding another employment. Until then I will continue to enjoy sitting in a café chatting away a couple of hours on a Tuesday afternoon! :-)

New year, new parties!

I was planning on publishing some pictures from this years new years party, but having looked at them carefully I have decided that in the interest of everyone involved (especially for those who stayed laaaaate), I will refrain from that.

Let's just remember we had a great party, at least the parts I remember, and a great start of the new year. Let's keep it that way and let's have more great parties soon!

2007!!!

Would just like to whish everyone a very happy, nice, successful, exciting and prosperous 2007!

For myself I think I have never known this little what will happen the coming year. Ok, we never know for sure what will happen and in the beginning of 2006 I did not know about everything that happened this year, but for 2007 I don't have a clue and not even some kind of plan. Exciting! Join the big adventure!