Change

It is amazing how fast things change sometimes. Unfortunatly I sometimes have the feeling it is more often to the worse, but sometimes it is really for the better. This Mondya I was so irritated and frustrated about my situation and my life here in Stockholm. I do really like my job, but felt a certain frustration for some time but worse is actually the lack of social life as everyone is so caught up in their relations and families or just simply too tired to do anything besides working.
I can understand that people are tired and don't have too much energy to do somthing else than just go home and watch tv. I am also tired at times, but I could not stand my life if working and sleeping was all I could do. Therefore, no matter how tired I am, or how much work I have I try to do things after work anyway. I go to the gym or would like to meet friends for a coffee or a movie or whatever. But this "whatever" is becoming rarer and rarer as no one seems to have the time or engergy. This makes me very frustrated. And this Monday it had really annoyed me. This time of the year makes things even worse, it is cold and people are sick and irritated with everything. So this Monday was just not a good day and I started seriously considering how to make a change.
The, out of the blue there was a light on the dark sky. A hope was lit and everything felt much better. Since, this have keept my mind preoccupied and things are still working out well. I have an interesting challange to look forward to! :-)

Not My Party

I have received an invitation for a school reunion, 25 years after leaving that class. It is the second reunion being arranged. I suppose the first one was ten years ago. I didn’t go then. I was living abroad at the time so I did not even consider it. This time I would be able to go if I wanted to, but I don’t think I will go this time either. I know a some people find these gatherings traumatic, where everyone will compete and show off who is the most successful or failed. Some may even worry about meeting their old school romances. I have no such worries whatsoever. I don’t have any old school romances and I don’t feel I have anything to prove and no need to show off. On the other hand I don’t feel I have anything to be ashamed of either. I feel quite happy with the way my life has turned out and to some I might even seem successful and having made some kind of career. The thing is I couldn’t care less.

I feel I have no interest whatsoever to meet any of my old high school class mates. The few that I like and would like to stay in touch with, I am in touch with and see every now and then, the rest… Well I suppose there are reasons why we don’t stay in touch. I have plenty of other friends in my life.

Not even the arrangement as such can tempt me to spend the 400 kr and drive the 350 km to go to the party. The dinner menu was extremely boring and the music described as “the greatest hits from the good old days” which in this case I guess would be around 1986. Oh my god! I can not think of a worse setting for a party. I simply don’t have that kind of nostalgic nerve at all. My life has moved on. I don’t feel any need to waste time on people I have nothing in common with, more that the fact that we happened to be born the same year at the same place, and talk about things that happened 25 years ago and listen to the same old music as we did then. I just don’t want to. I believe people who like to go to this kind of parties are the ones who either feel a need to prove they have achieved something or the ones that never get invited to any real parties.

Back to Winter again

Coming back from Rio has almost been a little traumatic. It was simply such a wonderful holiday. Maybe the best I ever had. I just love the place and want to go back soon again. I think I would also like to live there for a while.

Of course the coming back didn’t get any better by catching a very bad cold. Well, as a matter of fact I might actually have caught it in Rio, but there it never was a problem. Coming back to the cold climate however, it got really bad. I had to stay home from work three days this week and it caused me to miss a business trip to Bonn that I had looked forward to. But in spite of this and in spite of the cold winter and snowstorms raging I keep Rio in my mind. I keep humming some of the songs from the soundtrack of the trip and today I decided to look at the snowstorm from the perspective of a Brazilian. That turned the snow into something rather exotic, which made it much easier to endure