Myth Buster

There are loads of myths about men and women that I would like to see dead, once for all… Simply because they are sooo wrong. Maybe I should make that my mission and a new theme for my blog?!

One is the myth that women would not know what they want and somehow should be indecisive. Another is that women speak in riddles and that men should be more straightforward. That is just sooo wrong!!

I have ever so often ended up in relations with men who don’t seem to have a clue what they want and whenever I tried to find out, the most intelligent answer the man in question could provide was “I don’t know”. No matter how I rephrased the question he would not say anything else than I don’t know. In my opinion some of those questions were just the kind you just have to know the answer to, but maybe the person just felt uncomfortable to tell the truth and maybe thought I would get hurt. Therefore I started giving suggestions for different answers and after quite some time I think I got some kind of answer. After I had more or less put the words in the mouth of the man in question. I just don’t understand!! How fu..ing hard can it be?!!? Just answer the bloody question!! If I ask, of course I want the answer! If the person in question is so indecisive and unclear, of course you suspect he is “just not that in to you” and maybe wants to break up, but why the hell just don’t say that then. It is not one time now, that I have had to break up on behalf of the guy!! Why are men such cowards!??! Stop wasting my time!!

Now I thought this might just be me. Me meeting the wrong guys or me being too pushy or what ever… But now I have heard so many similar questions that my thesis has been confirmed. Recently I spoke to one of my long time friends. She has been living together with her boyfriend for six years. They are both 35+, not married, nor engaged and have no kids and live in a three room rented apartment. I think they both have been quite happy with that, but for some time now my friend seems to want some kind of change or at least get some suggestion to the direction of their relation. Should they get married, try to have kids, buy a house or maybe at least buy a boat or at least do something new? But whenever she brought the question up for discussion the only answer her boyfriend could give her was “I don’t know”. How the hell can you not know after that time!?!!? You must have some idea what you want to do with your life!! And after six years together, would you not think your partner is entitled to an answer!! And IF you of some unbelievable reason really do not know, any normal person should realise that you can not say that to a person you have been living together with for six years and who wants to have an answer. That is so respectless!! Then you just have to give an answer and take the consequences. Oh, I am getting angry while writing. Men grow up!! My friend now realise that she can not wait any more. If she waits and ask the same question in a year, she will only get the same answer. His loss!!

Ice Cold

Another reason to hate the place I am in and winter in general: the ice on my car!
Of course I was aware that you might have to scrape ice of the windscreen in the winter time, but the ice here is quite something. Thick, thick layers (like the beer commercial; "really thick!!") that takes ten minutes to get off. I suppose it is the closeness to the big lake that causes the high humidity and probably it will get better if the lake freezes, but that means it will have to get even colder first..:-(

November Blues

Not that I like winter particularly well, but today I would have preferred if it would have stayed cold.
This morning when I went to work, it was a clear, chilly, crisp morning so I put on my white, fur brimmed winter coat and my beige suede boots. Perfect for that weather!
In the afternoon when I left the office it was raining and there were dirty puddles everywhere. Not very suitable for my clothes….:-( I hate winter!! I particularly hate November! I need vacation!! Sun!!!!!!!!!

Is this me?!?!

I just had a look at my chinese horoscope on Facebook, according to which I am a Metal Dog. I am rather sceptical towards astrology and now I will be even more so. Or what about reading that I am not easy to live with!?!? Or maybe I then can use that as an excuse..
There was also a section where they combined the chinese sign with the western. I don't know if they actually combined MY two signs or if they picked the equivalent western sign and it just happend to be an Aries Metal Dog, but this is one of the things it said about "me": The Aries Dog
These Dogs are self-confident and independent. They won't settle down too early because there's too much to do.

Hmm, does sound a bit familiar...

Normal life??

Just to write that I have absolutely nothing to write!
Just feel very empty and uninspired... Is this the real normal life?!
All of a sudden I feel I have a lot of work and unfortunately find it very difficult to concentrate in the office.
At the same time autumn is getting really serious, cold, wet and dark... Fear the winter!!

Fascinating Facebook

After some initial hesitation and even some aversion against Facebook I have now given in and started taking more active part of it. There is still a lot of junk and applications that I just don’t understand the point of, especially the ones where you “send” stuff to people, like hugs, spanks, drinks or small fish or gifts etc. But it is a nice way to get in touch with people you have lost track of and also to stay updated on the ones you have less frequent contact to.
But I have also discovered another, probably unintended side effect. It is also a way to lose friends or at least to get confirmation of that someone who used to be your friends isn’t any longer.

It does not even have to be an active rejection in the way that you refuse to accept an invitation, it can also be the very passive, silent refusal of sending an invitation. You notice when you see that you and this person have a billion friends in common, but still you don’t have that direct link, not even though you are the one who basically introduced that person to the rest of the gang. Before it comes to that point you have probably already guessed that something was wrong, when you go from nearly daily contact to no contact for months, but there are of course a million reasons for not calling or sending a message, mostly lack of time, but on Facebook most of the reasons aren’t valid anymore. So then you would guess that there has to be another reason, but would it not be nicer to tell it straight out?! Of course you sometimes have to break up with friends too, but wouldn’t it be odd to confirm a break up on Facebook?

Well, if someone has decided that she does no longer want to be your friend anymore, it is not much you can do but to accept it. And anyway, I don’t need "friends" like that…

To Move Or Not To Move

Been thinking about moving. Am not happy with my apartment, especially not the neighbours. Saw two other apartments on the net today, bigger, closer to the centre and seemed to be in a nice house, but then it means they are also of course more expensive. Still not expensive though, but not as cheap as my present one. SO, the question is; is it worth while going through the hustle of moving again? Will I feel happier there? Is it worth paying a little more or will I still be unsatisfied but only have less money left to spend on other thing??

I don't know! And I guess I should have cancelled my present contract today then...

Town of the dead?

Just came back from a sunny and warm Stockholm to a rainy and grey Small Town. I think, however, that is more symbolic for how I feel about the place than a mere meteorological fact, the weather is actually quite good here and I think often better than in surrounding places...

However, I do think there are more dead people here than alive!

Very close to where I live there is a HUGE cemetery. It is very beautiful and park like, but it is really huge for such a small town. I kind of assumed that would be the only cemetery in town and hence that big, but today I saw from the train, that there is another one, just next to the church and it was also very big. And it was also very neat, tidy and well kept, so it seems the town cares more about the dead than the ones alive, let alone the ones really living...

Now I am off for another "night on the town". I am meeting some of my colleagues in a bar, we'll see what will happen this time...

Community action

Just to let you know that I am not only whining about The Small Town-misery, but also take some action against it; I want to inform you that I just sent an e-mail to the town council complaining about the parking ticket policy. Not my personal ticket, that is under my dignity, but I just wanted to inform them that this little shitty town actually can not afford being that rigid about these things. If there is one thing this place have more than enough of, it is empty spaces! So why the hell charge people at all if they want to park the car there and try to see if they can find anything worth spending their money on in the few shops!!??

So, now it feels a bit better!

Hating The Small Town

Today I just felt I hate The Small Town! I took the risk of staying here over the weekend. I will do my best to avoid that in the future!

The reason for staying here was that I have been away lot lately and felt tired and just felt like relaxing and sleep late in the mornings and then I also felt I really had to do some cleaning and organising in my apartment as well as work a bit. When I woke up however I thought it could be nice to go out for a while first, as the weather was quite nice. I also thought I could take the chance to go to some of the many flee markets in town as they are only open Saturdays. As I slept late and had a long and relaxed breakfast it got a bit late before I got out, but I could not see that that would be a problem. It was; I realised! ALL the flee markets closed at noon! They are only open Saturdays 9-12!!! My God!! Is it so strange and weird to sleep late one day of the week?!!? But maybe it is only the old, crazy, disabled, mad and unemployed here that go to the markets anyway…

After that I was a irritated but still wanted to do something, so I parked the car and went strolling through the city streets and the few shops. It did not take long, but I also talked on the phone and went through a park and along some nice houses before I went back to my car. Only to discover I had been given a parking ticket!!! Apparently I was a little late; the time I had paid for had expired. Seven (7!!) minutes after it expired I was given the ticket! I completely freaked out!! Especially as this town has absolutely no parking problem. My car was the only one in a huge parking lot, and still they have to fine me for being seven minutes late!!! In this ugly, disgusting, horribly boring, shitty little town they feel they have to harass people who are seven minutes late to their cars!?!? And then they wonder why people don’t want to live here. I was so frustrated and angry I just felt I had to get out of town.

I had found a brochure of a manor house not far away. It looked very nice in the pictures, a big white house in a park by a lake and with a restaurant and a café and a conference centre so I decided to go there and have lunch or at least coffee. At first I also had plans to stop in one or two of the towns I had to pass on my way there, but when I saw them I realised they would probably be like The Small Town so I kept driving. Once I came to the manor house it was as beautiful as in the pictures. But of course it was closed!!

I am so tired of this place! I really don’t want to live here!! I think several of my colleagues are going through the same at the time. And I am really worried for what it will be like in the autumn and winter. I hate winter in Sweden anyway and I don’t think it will be better here…

Time reference

Sometimes I feel I have difficulties to realise how old I am. Today I was in Oslo for a meeting and after the meeting I had one hour before the train left back to The Small Town. I used that hour to walk around Oslo centre and the harbour. I was thinking about the last time I was in Oslo and realised that it was almost twenty years ago!!! That is scary!!! Especially as I - at least at that time - thought of myself as a grown-up then. At the very least I was definetly not a child. That is scary!!

I remember a time when I was not even aware that I was alive twenty years ago!!
But I guess that time will probably come back again. Hopefully not so soon! Or maybe it will then more be a matter of not remembering what happened 20 minutes ago!

Facebook explosion

What has happened??!! The last weeks Facebook has formally exploded in my environment!! I don’t really remember when I first got the invitation to join, but I did not pay particular attention to that. After some time I did reply to a request and opened an account, but did not do anything further. Then a couple of weeks ago almost all my colleagues started talking about Facebook and also more and more friends seemed to have it and I have received more invitations. I have signed up for yet some, but still haven’t done much about it. I realise it would probably be a very nice and useful thing for me as I have this strange habit of moving a lot and finding it more and more difficult to keep in touch with friends. But on the other hand; when would I have the time to maintain it?! I feel the thing with it is that you are supposed to spend some time on it regularly. I find it hard enough to maintain my blogs! Ok, maybe Facebook could replace the blogs or at least complement them, as it is more interactive, but still every now and then I feel like writing more than suitable for Facebook.

But is it not interesting how things spread over internet?!?! All of a sudden some things just get this hype and people all over the world are busy reading, editing, checking, yes simply doing more or less the same thing!

Back again!

Been away for a couple of weeks. In Stockholm for a two weeks course. I did not think that would stop me from writing some things for my blog, but yeah was I wrong!! It has been two very intense weeks. Long days full of lectures and after that lot of group works and case studies that we had to work on and of course also a lot of social activities!! Unfortunately the group that I was in did not work very well together. In the beginning I thought it was just because we took more active part in the socialising than some of the others, but later I realised that we were just a very dysfunctional group! So did the facilitators and then they made us elect a leader for the group, which we of course should have done immediately, and unfortunately that was me. It almost made me crazy!! All the participants were great people, but it was just impossible to get everyone working together! At last we managed to create some kind of presentation, not a good one, but at least we did not have to stand there and say nothing. I can not say that our case study taught me a lot about our case, but a lot about working in a multinational environment. In our group we were two Swedes, one Brit, one Italian, one Nigerian, one Sudanese and one Indian and that is some cultural mix!!

The course also contained some practical exercises in weapons destruction by use of saw and oxy torch. Good fun! Pictures enclosed.


An automatic gun after being cut by an oxy torch, simply melted away.


A Rambo for peace!!





As the course took more time than I had expected I did not get as much time to see my Stockholm friends as much as I had hoped, but still got some time for them. That was nice! I miss living in a city!! It was not very nice having to go back to The Small Town. I have realised though that it might not be my noisy neighbours that are the problem here; it is the fact the town it so very silent! I do prefer to hear traffic sound than the sounds of my neighbours!

Small Town "Service"

Yesterday we had another “Small town experience” at our local bar. We were out for some drinks and food. Some of my colleagues had ordered hamburgers and when they asked for some ketchup they were told the house was out of ketchup!!!! How can that be?!?! At that time the supermarkets were still open so they could very well have sent someone over to buy, but no, they rather preferred to make their guests disappointed. But that was only the start!! One of my colleagues got a beer that was flat and when she told the waitress and asked for another one, the waitress answered: “ok, but if that one is flat it means the next one will also be flat so you’d better change to some other beer”. Can you imagine!?!?!? Instead of just changing the barrel they will first try to sell the rest of the flat beer to flat customers who will not complain!! Another colleague arrived a little later and asked for nachos, he received the answer that “no, the kitchen is closed, we are closing now, I am taking the last orders”. It was not even nine and the place is normally open much longer why we all looked a bit surprised and asked how come, and what time they are closing. The poor waitress, who I already knew for not being very smart, it was the one with the “small big strong beer”, made it all worse. “She said we are closing as soon as you are leaving.” Of course we opposed that was just the whole ting, we were not planning to leave just yet, we wanted to order more! Then we asked again how come they were closing that early and she replied “because there are no guests” Yeah right!!! And the guests they had they were busy throwing out!! I mean we were more than 10 people at our table and some more were expected. At least we got to order one more round of drinks and Richard made a new try to get some nachos, asking if it was really not possible that the chef could make some, but then the poor girl informed us that the cook had just thrown out the minced meat. So I guess he would not have wanted to eat that anyway.

We all agreed that we have been going too often and too much to this place, they have become lazy and comfortable, it is time to stop going there and find some other place. Unfortunately that is not so easy around here, but we left and went to a hotel bar which recently got their license for serving alcohol back, after having lost it this summer. We don’t want to know the reason for that. However, there we could still have some food and drinks and nice service, albeit a bit slow. That is really the one thing that I miss the most living here, decent bars and restaurants. These places have a little of DDR or Soviet style service.

I have found some “friends” on the net, who also are discovering this side of Sweden, have a look at www.detsannasverige.com

I am back...

...from Peru.
But information about my trip to Peru you will not find here, but on my travel blog, http://goodrun-crazyworld.blogspot.com

Out of the ordinary

I don't really think this is something that fits in the Normal Life, not even in my weird Normal Life.
Yesterday at the party after the race, my boss shortly took me aside and asked me if I speak Spanish. I had to answer that unfortunately I don't. That's a pity she said, because if you did I would have asked you if you could co to Peru on Monday. But could you still go to Peru on Monday. And, well I answered yes.
So now I have been spending the afternoon at the office packing bags with all sorts of equipment, technical and personal for me and two more people who will be off to Peru tomorrow. The reason is of course to allieviate the suffering for the victims of the earthquake. We will fly in tents, blankets and tarpaulins etc.
At first the plan was that I would fly with a regular flight early tomorrow morning and arrive in the evening local time. Now that has been changed so that I will fly with the freight plane a AN 12 tomorrow in the afternoon. That will of course not be so comfortable, we will have to bring our own ear protection (ear plugs is not sufficient!) and our own food and drink. We will fly via the Canary Islands for a fill up, but then no one really can tell how long it will take for us to arrive in Pisco.
So I am up for a journey, that's for sure. I will be away for approx one week and don't think I will be able to blog during that time. But afterwards I might have something for my Travel-blog!

Day 0

And the race is over!
It was great!!! I am so happy with my race. Ok, we did not win of course. This is a race where some real freaks also participate. We did not even win among our colleagues, but came second of our mixed teams. But I am really proud of my achievement. Both me and Christian were really very strong, we just had a weakness in the orientation part, which turned out to be much more important and challenging than I thought. After the race of 5 hours and 3 minutes I still felt very fresh and not very tired at all. No part of my body was acheing, still not, and my colleagues were complaining I looked too fit and fresh. At the party afterwards though I felt I did not need too many drinks to feel a bit tipsy and now I think I will sleep very well!

At the party though I was talked in to to sign up for another race in september and also a cross country skiing race in march! I am crazy! Good night!

1 day left...

Today we stached up on material. Me and Christian went to the only sports store in the Small Town and bought a lot of things!!! All of a sudden we seemed to think material could save us. No, but we have our doubts about the wheather, it could get cold, windy and rainy and none of us had the right clothing for that as none of us normally would do outdoor sports in those conditions...
What worries me a little is that Christian only arranged with his moutainbike today and it still needs some adjustments before tomorrow and he also bought new jogging shoes... The day before the race!!! But hey, the man is cool, so I guess I should not worry either.

The medical coordinator at our office promised to bring the compulsory first aid kits also for us, but as he is also our main competitor and the instigator to this whole thing I am not sure we can trust him, but on the other hand, I am not planning to get hurt either. According to the instructions for the race one should also bring a water protected mobile phone, but what the heck, should that really be neccessary?!?! On the other hand the orientation part really worries me. And still we have not decided on who will sit in the back or front of the canoe. I think I will have to call Christian later...

Shit! I am nervous!! I know it is only for fun, but I am such a bad looser. I hate to loose and it would be terrible to be the last among the colleagues. And it is also a very long time ago I did any kind of sports competition.

Now I will start some carbo loading. Pasta!!!
Then I will motivate myself with watching Kill Bill I think!

Whish us luck!!!

2 days left

Today we had a crash course in how to handle and read a compass. We kind of thought we knew, but after discussing it a bit we realised we had some different views on the matter and as it actually is more important that we agree than that we really know, we had to ask a colleague. Some other colleagues overheard the conversation and got a bit worried that we would get lost in the woods, but then remarked that we do not only have access to our own ambulance, we also have professional Search And Rescue teams!

The plan for today was to develope our paddling technic, but due to the bad rain we did some spinning instead. Was ok, but I still don't know what's wrong with my pulse watch...

3 days left..

well, now it is onlyt three days left until the race! Training is going fine. Yesterday we did some paddling again, followed by jogging and that felt fine. Today I did 15 km on my mountainbike which also felt fine. Today we also secured that we can borrow a compass from a colleague, who also gave us some good advise on paddling, which we might need. Now Christian only has to arrange for a bike and then we are ready to go. I suppose you could say it is a bit late, but what the... better late than never....or?`
Unfortunately my digital camera seems to have given up so I am not sure I will be able to post any pictures. But I am sure you can see it in the papers and on tv etc... ;-)

Neighbours!

I do have an issue with my neighbours! The single mom next door really needs to put some grease on the hinges of her front door; the squeaking is making me crazy. I have been thinking about offering her to oil it for her, but am worried she might take it as a critique, which it also is in a way… Maybe I should sneak out when she is not at home or at night and put some oil on it. The little shit under me now has bought a hubble bubble, well to be honest it smells better than the normal cigarettes, but on the other hand this will probably mean that all of his disgusting friends will hang out here even more. Today they pushed it a little further still. They have for some time been using the lawn as an extra entrance and been driving their mopeds all the way up to his terrace entrance, but today there was a car driving across the lawn all the way up and parked right under my balcony, on the grass. Bloody spoilt kids!
On my way to tennis lesson I was almost stopped by the neighbourhood kids who were holding a “flea market”. Now I know how come this whole town is full of flea markets and “antique” stores! On the way back from tennis I saw what the neighbour with the Hyundai has done to his car. It is a black car but now he has put bright neon yellow windscreen wipers and bright neon yellow grating on the front of the car. It is a grown up man!!! What’s wrong with these people!?!?

Something's wrong

I was just going through the summary of my first experience of training with a pulse watch. Yesterday I was out jogging and to test it I just ran my normal 5 km round at my normal pace of 5 min/km. Ok, I had to slow down a bit at the end as I felt the pain in my right hip that has been bugging me for a while, but nevertheless I made it in 27.37 min, which is ok. I felt good and not very tired afterwards. But looking at the summary of the results afterwards I was confused. The watch told me that I had been running at an average HR of 165 bpm, which would mean 90% of my max HR. That does not make sense! Something has to be wrong, but is it the watch or is it me? Or is it simply that I have the physique of a 20 years old?! :-)

I am open for any suggestions on what could be wrong as I am not very experienced in these things. Now I will make a second test. This time I will try to run at 70-80% of max HR and see what that will do for the pace and the distance.

The City that God Forgot

Today I visited the village that God forgot, or at least that the people left. My sister just bought a motorcycle in a town/village not too far from here and I drove her there to pick it up today. She told me already before that the place was really depressing and everyone I told I would go there said the same, but still I was not really prepared for what I saw. The whole community has grown up around one big industry. The town is in a mining area and the factory was somehow connected to mining and steel industry, although I don’t know exactly what they produced there.
Anyhow, the factory is now closed and the whole place is withering down to nothing. At the entrance of the town/village you see the deserted factory and it is so depressing, empty and broken windows, overgrown grass and rusty steel works everywhere. As you then follow the main street that runs through the village you see a lot of empty houses and closed down shops everywhere. Nowhere much sign of life. It is a ghost town! The people who sold the motorbike where now also leaving. Very symbolic!!
I wanted to make some pictures to post here so you can see what I mean, because unless one has seen anything like that it is hard to believe, but unfortunately my digital camera seem to have broken down all of a sudden! But there is supposed to be a book about those “closed down industry towns” in Sweden. Right now I don’t remember the name of the book but I feel quite sure that this place is in the book.
After this little excursion it even felt quite good to be back in my Small Town!

Turning Sporty?

A little late maybe, but now training for the race has started. Thursday I and Christian did some paddling, and then we jogged down town, to the gym for an hour of spinning and finally walked back. Of course the distance was nothing in comparison with what awaits us on Saturday, but it felt really good. Yesterday I bought a lot of new jogging and training clothes. That is also important! And today I bought a pulse-watch and sport drinks “superior glycogen filling” so here we go!!

Team sport

Time is flying and August the 18 is approaching rapidly. That is the date for the multi sport event I have been tricked into. Some colleagues started teasing and challenging each other to sign up and somehow I got involved too. It is a team thing and we decided to sign up for the mixed version so I am competing together with my colleague Christian. This far we have not been training together once! Tomorrow we will do some paddling which might bee good as that is not one does everyday... The running and cycling might work anyway, although it also involves orientation, which I don’t know if any one of us is very good at. In total it is a race over 31 km but with a few misses on the orientation part and the race can get much longer… (about the race see: www.adventurerace.se)

Some of our other colleagues, who are not participating in the race, but only in the party afterwards, came up with an idea that they probably found brilliant. They will bring the ambulance! Our specially equipped Medical Emergency Response Team ambulance! They thought it would be good PR to show it, but I am not so sure what kind of PR it gives to the teams participating! Bringing our own ambulance….!?

Good things in The Small Town

All of a sudden I felt bad! And felt sorry for all the negative things I write about the Small Town. Actually I don't mean to be negative, I am just fascinated and write about the things I don't understand, but I can understand that this might look negative, so therefore I will try to write about some good things about The Small Town too(especially as I want people to come and visit me here!)
I will start by writing that The Small Town has a very nice art museum (for being a small town). It is very nicely situated by the water, has a nice café/restaurant and good muesums shop and seem to have ambitious exhibitions. This far I have only seen one, but it is very good, about Swedish and Norwegian pupils of Matisse, very interesting!


http://www.kristinehamnskonstmuseum.com

Cars

Since I moved to the Small Town, the word CAR has a new meaning. In the office CAR means Central African Republic, but generally cars seem to be a way of life here. I have already written about the young guys entertaining themselves by racing around the roundabouts on a Tuesday evening and though I never really paid much attention to what their car actually looked like, I know exactly. This is the place for homemade custom Volvos!

You see them everywhere. Old Volvos 740 or 760, from the 80:s or early 90:s but looking nothing the way the car looked when it was new, still not like the real fancy custom cars you can see on TV or in magazines or on exhibitions. No, these are really homemade stuff. Among the standard equipments are of course low profile tyres on aluminium rims, spoilers and some new fancy colour, preferably bicoloured. Then there can be all kinds of extras, no limits! It is soo obvious that there is some young guy who bought the car cheaply and then spent a lot of time and money on it to rebuild it. So it is probably not a matter of money, with all the money spent I am sure they could have bought a newer and cooler car if they wanted but that is not the issue here. To me this is completely incomprehensible!

Even more incomprehensible to me is what one of my neighbours is doing. Almost every day I pass a garage in the area where I live and every afternoon one of the garage doors is open and there is one person and often two or three others are there chatting with him. To be honest I don’t know exactly what the man is doing but he seems to be working on a car. As this man is in his 50:s and seem to be spending all his spare time in this garage I felt pretty sure that the car had to be some very cool old classic veteran car or something like that, and I somehow thought I could understand that you could have that as a hobby. Until the other day when I had a closer look in the garage as I passed and saw that the car is a Hyundai!! How cool is that?!?!

Not even now when I am a car-owner myself can I understand the fascination in cars as such. How you can have cars as a hobby (and then I don’t mean driving!). I am trying not to see my car as just a waste of money and hence an impediment on my oversee travels and therefore I have given it a nickname, to try to personalize it and try to build some kind of relation to it, but I am not sure it works. I am just not a car-person!

Bad Neighbours

Another thing that is different in The Small Town is the phenomenon neighbours.
I have moved a lot and lived in many strange places, but I have never had any problems with my neighbours. I have hardly been aware that I had neighbours. Ok, some of my friends might have heard me complain about some neighbour at some time, their memories seem to be working better regarding these things than mine, but as far as I am aware of now have never had any problems with neighbours. Until now! I absolutely hate my downstairs neighbour who is always playing music too loud and is generally annoying. The other neighbours do normally not disturb me, although I think some of them seem a bit strange. Of course I could try to talk to my downstairs neighbour, but I am afraid that won’t be too fruitful. I could also talk to the landlord and have them talk to my neighbour, but I really hate these things, so instead I keep quiet and suffer. I have also been thinking about looking for another apartment, but the funny thing is that all my colleagues seem to have problems with their neighbours being loud, aggressive or dirty or some other problems. The only one who was not complaining about his neighbours today was a colleague who has a hearing problem!
Could it be that this is a general problem here?! Or are we big city dwellers more sensitive about our neighbours’ activities?! I don’t know.

Exclusive blogging

Last week I read an article in the major daily about the three most read blogs in Sweden. Apparently they all belong to the same family, two brothers and the wife of one of the brothers. Out of curiosity I had to check the three blogs out, although I had never heard of them before. But honestly, I only managed to read two, three, maximum four posts before I was fed up. They were just so uninteresting! They were mainly just throwing shit on people and trying to be as arrogant as possible. The big thing right now was obviously the wedding of two of them and all three of them seemed to think everyone is immensely interested in the planning and the preparations for the wedding. Honestly!!! Who the hell can bother to be interested in some unknown peoples wedding?!?!? Don’t people have friends of their own who get married??!! But I believe that most of the readers are very much younger than the bloggers themselves, so that might explain it. The small kids might think they get something of the “coolness” these people are trying to display, by reading and commenting on their blogs. But how pathetic isn’t that?!
I am by no means trying to say that my blog would be more interesting, but I don’t have thousands and thousands of people who read my blog every day, which I honestly am very happy for! You, my dear readers are a much more exclusive bunch

Small Town Exotica

Some of my Swedish friends use to say that the stories I tell about The Small Town are just as exotic as the ones I told about Harare or Manila and this one is for me, one of them too. It is just hilarious!

Unfortunately I am not sure if it will work in English, but I will give it a try. Today I went out with some colleagues to celebrate a birthday with a couple of drinks. After a while the colleague who was sitting next to me wanted a small beer and asked for that. And here comes an explanation for the non-Swedes: the standard order for a draught beer at a Swedish bar is “en stor stark” which actually means “one big strong”. That will give you ca 40 cl of any random beer of the stronger class. It is the equivalent of ordering the house wine; it will most likely not be the best kind of beer, but the cheapest.

So my friend had had some of those but now felt she wanted a smaller one. When the very young and very inexperienced and maybe not too smart waitress brought the beer she asked “vem var det som ville ha en liten stor stark?” “who wanted the small big strong?” I spontaneously burst out laughing; I thought it was just so hilarious. Especially as the waitress did not react or seemed to see the missing logic of what she said. It can not have been that she did not hear it as I was not very subtle and my other colleagues also started laughing. After a while my colleague wanted another one and this time she was a bit hesitant how to order, as she did not want to start another laughing orgy. We were all paying attention and heard her ask for a “small beer”, but apparently the waitress noticed her hesitation and to confirm she asked; “en liten stor stark?” I think you can guess our reaction.

My colleagues jokingly blamed me for being an arrogant big city snobb, and were making jokes about us living like expats here and making fun of the locals, but they were laughing just as much. This is, however, quite much small town and the truth is, we are living quite much like expats and do not mingle with the locals!

Modern Freak Shows

To follow up on the TV-theme I just have to come back to another theme that I have touched on earlier, the programmes that teach people how to live their lives. Just happened to end up watching a show about dieting obese children. It is a British show about an obese 11-years old girl. After only watching it for a couple of minutes I realise it is not only about teaching the family how to eat healthier and exercise, it is about educating them like parents normally educate their children. So the family even was thought not to use bad language!! It is amazing!! It is so prejudiced. It is almost like an old-fashioned freak show, where you put poor, uneducated white trash on display and then do a “good deed” by telling them how to live their lives and become better people!! How can they get away with that?!!? And how can any adult persons accept to be told how to talk and not use bad language on a TV-show??

Material Girl

Oh Gosh! I think I am becoming materialistic! I have started to buy and own Things! This last week I bought a bike and a car! The bike might be ok, although I actually already had a good bike. This one is more of a mountain bike type and I need that for the multi sport race I have registered for in August (another crazy thing, but more about that later!). But a car!!!
Ok, it is of course a used one and I have been thinking about it for some time (since I moved to the small town) but anyway. The day after I bought it I woke up in agony thinking about all the expenses I just bought me; thinking all my money will now be spent on the car and fuel and much less left for travelling!:-(
Anyway; it is nice to be able to drive more freely and it makes you more flexible. I just took a short ride just for fun, checking out beaches outside the town! But still; there is a lot of money involved, because it is of course not just the car; you of course need a lot of other equipment and accessories as well! And that is when I realised I was getting materialistic, because I feel I need a lot of car-things I never thought of before! I guess it is the influence of small town life. I am also considering buying a couch and who knows, if I live here long enough I maybe I even might buy a flat screen TV!!!

Pirates off the West Coast

Back from a nice sailing trip along the Swedish West Coast. Well the weather could have been better, but we had quite good wind and some really nice sailing. Being out with an old boat like that you get some interesting reactions sometimes. Especially if you sport a different flag, as this time when we had a Jolly Roger hissed. In one harbour I heard a little kid ask his father; "Are those real pirates?". The father answered: "yes, that's what pirates look like". I somehow felt compelled to add that we are rather nice pirates.


Our pirate ship found some friends! We are on the outside. Later we were sandwiched between some Polish juvenile delinquents and German MedDr and PhD:s, quite some pirates...

Ejdern aproaching the harbour, or actually moving to let the ferry let some people off!

Of course real pirates open beer cans with a knife!

The very idyllic Fiskebäckskil! Between the thunder storms!


A real "Idylla-Jävel"!

Finally we reached our final destination, Bovallstrand. We had quite some problems finding a place in the harbour. Because of the hard wind the harbour was completely full of boats and then arriving with 20 tonnes is not the easiest thing, but after having alerted the harbour management and engaged 15 people ashore to help us, we finally made it.
N.B. this picture was taken the day after, when the wind had decreased and many boats had leaft.

Actually, the only bad thing with the west coast are the nasty jelly fish! In Bovallstrand there was a proper jelly-fish-soup! Just as well the weather did not invite to swimming anyway!

Holiday time

It is amazing the way everything close down during summer. Offices in Sweden are really empty in July! This feels a little new to me as I have been working abroad during summer the last four years. Today there was not too many of us in the office and there will be even less next week, but then I will not be there either, so I don't care! :-) I just hope there will be no tsunamis, earthquakes, wars, floods or other disasters in the world next week or maybe especially not after next week when I am back in office again...

Next week I am off for sailing on the west coast! I really look forward to it and only hope the weather will be ok. It hasn't been great this far, but that means it is about time it gets good.
So; no disasters and nice weather and everything will be fine. Fingers crossed!!

Laundry Room Fascism II

Now I am back on one of my favourite topic of hatred, the laundry room fascism! Since I now live in a very typical (although very unusual to me) Swedish standard house with rented apartments I am now personally affected. When I first moved in and went down to book a time I was shocked to see I could not get a time in three weeks!! There are two washing machines and 36 apartments that share them. That should not be too bad, but since the day is divided in three bookable blocks per day whereof only one actually is an option for people with a normal daytime job, there are not so many options left. (I even discovered that people who work are further discriminated as the two daytime blocks are five hours whereas the evening block only four!!!) And if you then, as I, don’t spend your weekends here, there are two days less. Maybe you also have some meetings or other appointments during the week and you are in big trouble and there is no room to be spontaneous. I think you can understand than one does not want to miss a booked time. But still I refuse to let my life be governed by the laundry room fascism!

Today I had booked the laundry room from five to nine in the evening, but then a colleague asked if we should play tennis. Dilemma, I really didn’t want to say no to tennis, but as I am going on holiday next week I also really needed to wash. However, the tennis court is close to where I live and I booked it from six o’clock which meant I could go home and start washing to show my neighbours that I really was using my time (if you don’t someone else normally is allowed to use it after an certain time) and then leave it while playing tennis. When I came to the laundry room I saw a note from a neighbour (kindly) asking if she could wash after me when I was ready and left her phone number. First my egoistical me thought; what the heck, it is not my problem, if I have booked until nine I can be here till nine, but of course if I am ready earlier I can give her a call. But on my way out I met the neighbour in question and then my “real” kind and soft me took over and suggested that I just finished this first one and then she could wash between six and eight o’clock, while I was playing tennis. She was very grateful and happy. We were chatting for a while and complained about how difficult it is to get the time to wash. She agreed completely and added…”especially when you have three kids..” So I guess I felt kind of stupid, standing there with my tennis racket and my luxury problems…

Today I was planning to complain about that I don’t feel very comfortable with the normal life in the small town. Or the fact that the summer in Sweden is rather shitty this far. I haven’t spent the whole summer in Sweden in quite many years and now I think I will have to try to avoid it in the future as well.
But just before I started writing I heard on the regional news that someone had been sentenced for attempted murder on a pizza restaurant owner. The man had previously threatened to kill the same man, after having received mushrooms on his pizza instead of shrimps….
Somehow that made me rethink, look at things from another perspective and forget my complaints for a while. People are mad!!

Almost famous

I just love the way they call the local TV-channel here in Kristinehamn, KLTV. Ok, it is a logical abbreviation for Kristinehams Lokal TV, but still it makes me think of something completely different. It makes me think of that 80-th’s TV-series Midnight Caller, with Jack “Nighthawk” Killian as a late night radio talk show host. Do you remember? Ok, the name of that radio station was KJCM, but still….
“Good night America. Where ever you are!”

Small town idyll

In an attempt to get some visitors to the place where I am living right now I will publish some pictures of the surroundings to start with. Pictures of the town will come later.

If you take a boat out for an hour, you can have a perfect rock by the water to yourself for swimming and sunbathing on one of the islands.

The harbour.

The most famous feature of Kristinehamn; the huge Picasso sculpture

Life in the Small Town

One of my friends said that the stories I tell from the small town where I am living right now is just as exotic as the stories I told from Manila or Harare or any of the other places I have been, and I somehow think she is right. Life here is just so different! And that although I grew up in the country side.
There is also an extreme difference between my work life and life outside the work. I work in a highly international atmosphere. None of my colleagues come from this town but all moved here. Most of them have worked abroad, many for UN in Geneva, New York or Rome or on missions in Sudan, Congo or Pakistan. We are sending missions and planning projects in Afghanistan, Iraq, Liberia, Ukraine and many other places. So in the office, you might sometime forget you are in Kristinehamn. But then you go out and you are brutally confronted with reality.
Today some of us went out for a couple of drinks after work and that in itself (going out for drinks on a Tuesday) is not the thing people do in the small town, so we were pretty much alone in the bar, but that’s ok, we had a good time. On the way home I saw some guys playing with an old Volvo, racing three rounds around the roundabout with smoking, shrieking and rubber-smelling wheels. You don’t see that in the city! I also met a young kid enjoying himself by throwing a big plastic bottle of soda in the air and letting it fall down on the asphalt until it exploded. So that is how to amuse oneself here…
I think I will have to find a way how to cope with life here. There are some really nice colleagues living here, but most of them have an apartment and maybe also a partner somewhere else as Stockholm or Gothenburg and go there every weekend. So either I should try to find out what to do here or just see to that I don’t have to stay here so much.

My Social Handicap

I have just realised I must be suffering from a rather different, but severe kind of social handicap; I just can not say no to fun social gatherings! Today, after having been away for a couple of days, I really felt it would be so nice to just go home after work and try to sort out some of all the things that are piling up at home, make some of those phone calls, write those mails etc. And then when one of my colleagues sent an e-mail about going out for a couple of drinks after work I just felt that there was no way I would join…. I did not even feel like having a drink as I had been partying quite some during the weekend.
Yeah, right! Of course I went there! Of course it was very nice and I enjoyed it, but it is so strange that I just cannot!!

A new life?!

It feels as if it was ages since I last wrote anything for my blog. I have been busy changing jobs and location. I have now moved to the townlet of Kristinehamn and started working at the international department of the SRSA, Swedish Rescue Services Agency. Before I got here I was busy making my mind up, as I had another offer that was quite tempting, and even got better after a while. So I was in the somewhat absurd position to choose whether to move to Kristinehamn or Dhaka. I still feel satisfied with my decision!

This far life in the small town seems ok. The town is by the water and is a nice summer town. I have just two minutes to a beach from my apartment and the office as well. That is another good thing about small towns; everything is close. It is quite pretty, although very quiet, almost a bit dead and I wonder what it will be like in the winter…. But what the heck, I don’t have to spend all my time here!

The job seems great!! Today we had a day of social activities at the office and I got to learn mine searching and see some nasty bombs and mines as well as some very heavy machines to get rid of them; got to see a mobile emergency hospital; do some GPS-caching and do some wall climbing. Great fun! Ok, that is of course not my normal work. I am in the strategic section and will work with strategies and policies, but it is cool to have an exciting employer. Something different from the work with migration matters! I think it will be great!

I want some cred!

Or actually I don’t need that. I am proud enough of my self anyway. Today I said “thank you, but no thank you to the foreign ministry!!! And that I think is really something they are not too used to. I have been waiting for an offer of a job contract from them, and today I got their offer. It was not bad, but it was definitely not good enough! And I am soo proud of myself that I actually did not let myself be fooled and persuaded to accept anyway. I have had enough of bad contracts and worthless promises from the ministry. If I am to continue that line of work they will have to come up with something better.
This time I also had a very interesting alternative, which of course made the decision easier. Now I am starting something completely new. This is also something that takes some courage. Not to change jobs, but this means moving to the dreaded little small town!! But as I say, fear eats the soul so one just has to try the thing one fears the most. I feel brave and courageous! So maybe I do want some cred after all!

Useless, invisible pain

I am still a bit sore and stiff from my fall yesterday, but to my disappointment nothing shows. I thought I would get completely black and blue, but there is nothing!! Not a spot or a scratch. Who will believe my pain and feel pity for me then!?!?
Well, I think I am a bit swollen, but who the hell will believe that?? “No, I am not fat; it is just my ass that is swollen!!”

Rodeo Queen

Today I fell off the horse! Big time! And two times!

It was the first time in I don’t know how many years, and then I’d better do it properly. I was helping a friend to break in a young horse and she had been sitting on it before, so it was not the first time and then it was no problem. This time too it all started out very well, but then something happened, probably he got scared by the dog that approached the paddock and he started jumping, bowing and kicking like crazy. And I tell you; then there is not much one can do. First I flew twenty centimetres up and then down back in the saddle, which of course did not make things better, then I just flew down on the ground and landed on my hip. After some recuperation I got back up on the horse again. It started out ok, but then he just flew up in the air again, my friend could not hold it. I flew off and landed on the other hip and the horse started running off, kicking and bowing around the paddock, before it tore the bridle in parts and broke out through the wooden fence and off in the field.

I feel quite ok, I am a bit sore and blue, but I feel pretty sure there is nothing broken or crushed. For a while I was a bit dizzy and nauseous, chock I guess, but that is ok now. I am fascinated by the powers a horse possess and how well man can teach a horse to obey and control these powers, it just takes a bit of time and training. I mean I have been riding a lot, but it was a long time a fell from a horse and I don’t think I fall too easily. Saar, you might remember the time we were riding in Belgrade and Lucky Boy set off like at the rodeo, I must say I was never even close to falling off then, even though I was riding without stirrups, but this time; not a chance to stay on! Not even with the help of the extra leather strap I had on the saddle. Now I know what it must be like at a real rodeo!

I hate migraine

For two days now I have been down and out and I am counting on a third day, that is the normal duration. Migraine must be the most boring “illness” there is. You just feel miserable, all the time. This time I am not that ill that I have to throw up and stay absolutely still all the time, but I am so completely bored!!!! There is nothing I can do! Normal pills don’t help. Ok, I have stronger, prescription stuff I could take, but they just make me pass out and that is not so fun either. I can not read, not watch TV, not listen to music, cant stand sounds and strong light and honestly; I can not sit by the computer either. I am just soooooo bored!!!!!!!!! :-(

Cleaning out my closet III

I am continuing to sort out among all my cardboard boxes and today I did the ones that have been standing since before I moved to Gothenburg, i.e. is since 1992! Very interesting!!
Somehow I got the feeling I was more adult then, than I am now! I had a lot of fine china, glassware, silverware, table cloths and curtains that I never used since.
But what struck me most was that I seemed to have had a lot of interests that I do not care much about now. I found my old photo developing equipment, loads of magazines about photography, music, film, politics and travelling. Shit! I think I was almost more intellectual and cultural when I was in high school than I am now! Even the wise words and philosophical sentences that I had jotted down on my notebooks were rather intelligent and witty. Ok, some where indeed naïve and pathetic, but not all of them.
I seem to have been more political, more cultural, more idealistic and much more romantic! When and how did I become this cynical old bitch!?!

Congratulation Serbia!!

Not only to winning the Eurovision Song Contest, which of course is great and well deserved, and I am really glad for that, but I think Serbia won a lot already by sending Marija Serifovic to the competition. It was so refreshing to see a female artist who is not only a great singer, but also can perform without being half naked. She is also so far from the standard stereotype of the Balkan female ideal; not skinny, no silicon boobes, no blow dried long hair and heavy make-up, no miniskirt and no high heals (ok, she might have brought five choir girls to make up for that, but anyway...).
I really do not care whether she is a lesbian or not, but if she is, I think that is an even greater progress for Serbia, considered the general attitudes towards homosexuals in the macho country Serbia. The ESC has for quite some time been regarded as a rather gay-event, but it has been a predominantly male gay event, so it is about time that the lesbians also get their share of the attention!

The absolute contrast was the Moldovan contribution. It felt so taste-less, tacky and cheep that the country mostly known for trafficking of young women would send a young girl dressed as a really cheep porn-star. Bad, bad, bad!!

So, maybe we should have a re-union in Belgrade next year and enjoy the show!?! :-)

The bad blogger

My blog is really just for me and my friends (although anyone is welcome to read it!). I think it continues the way it started, as a mean for me to keep my friends far away updated on my whereabouts.
As a result of this I don’t bother too much about blogging as a phenomenon and don’t expect to get many visitors, and honestly, I am not really that interested in blogging as such. Nevertheless I found myself surfing one of those sites listing blogs and reading the statistics of the most popular Swedish blogs and also reading some of them. That made me really realise that I am not a typical blogger and will probably never have a very frequently visited blog. The area I would be most interested in reading about, travels, ended at the very bottom of the list, only blogs about science and economy had less visitors. The most popular blogs were all about celebrity gossip, fashion, shopping, entertainment or sex, and quite a few personal ones about family and children, i.e. not the topics I write most about.

Still it is a very broad spectre of things that people write about and the quality also vary a lot. I feel rather comfortable with not having too many visitors. Knowing that there are a lot of people out there that I don’t know reading what I write would make me feel insufficient. But I am very happy that there are some who still read it and I would actually love to have more comments on my blog!

Calming my environmental conscience

Right now I feel there is a huge boom for questions about our environment and especially the climate. Everyday there are new articles about it in the papers, reports on TV and radio and even media that normally don’t deal with these matters do now. It is very political correct. Of course there are many reasons why this happen now, the latest UN-report about the climate change is only one and probably less influential than Al Gore’s film.

Of course it is great that people start to become aware and care about this and I really like the focus on what everyone can do in your normal everyday life and also the focus on that it really matters what you do about it. But still I worry about the effect. Sometimes these things just seem to be a trend or maybe even a fashion and after a while people forget and go back to life as before. There is also a risk that when there is too much talk about it, people tend to get frustrated, feel hopeless or get fed up with it. I must admit I do to some part belong to this second group. I like to see myself as a fairly environmentally aware person and I try to act accordingly, but now I have the feeling that no matter what I do it is not enough.

I believe my worst environmental crime is the way I travel. I love to travel and I do it a lot, both privately and professionally and my international travel is mostly by plane. I find this hard to change and I can not say I would appreciate an increase of the price for flying, especially as I don’t feel sure about what this “extra tax” really will be used for. Somehow I don’t see the connection how the climate automatically will benefit from increased costs for flying, unless you increase the price that much that hardly anyone can afford it anymore. Therefore I have come up with my own idea. I am not saying it is the best and for sure it is not sufficient, but still I kind of like it. I have been thinking about that for every time I fly somewhere I could also donate some money to some environmental organization working with plantation of trees. I know there are mixed opinions and it might not be enough and it will take time for the trees to grow etc etc, but at least it feels as a straight connection, and until anyone comes up with something better that is what I will do, if only to calm my bad conscience. Anyone who would like to join me?

Here is an interesting link, unfortunately only in Swedish: http://klimatfakta.com/2007/03/12/vilken-nytta-gor-koldioxidkompensation-genom-tradplantering/

Feeling cultural

Although I read a lot, like to listen to music, occasionally visits museums, go to the theatre or the opera, love to watch movies and even hang around at film festivals I don’t watch culture programmes on TV or read the culture pages in the news paper. The reason? They make me feel stupid. They always talk about some artist/writer/musician that I have never heard of and most irritating is that they use a kind of language that gets on my nerves. I believe I am quite well educated and the culture I consume is not the average main stream, but still I feel so left out of these discussions and I feel that these journalists don’t care about weather people are interested in what they are talking about or not; their sole interest is to show off and try to impress or outsmart each other.

So therefore it was a very fascinating and new experience for me yesterday when I watched the programme Kobra on Swedish TV. The reason I watched it in the first place was that I had seen a trailer for the show and heard that they would talk with the author of the book I am just now reading, I like the book a lot and looked forward to hear more about the author. The book is called Wizard of the Crow by the Kenyan author Ngugi Wa Thiong’o and I can highly recommend it. It is about life in a fictitious African country run by a dictator and is describing the absurdity of life under these circumstances, very interesting. For me the country is Zimbabwe, but I guess it could have been any African dictatorship.

Anyhow, I felt very cultural because I had read a book they were talking about on TV! And when they read parts of the book on TV I felt even smarter, as I did not read the Swedish translation! Ok, I did not read it in the original language either, as my Gikuyu is not so great, but at least the English translation is made by the author himself.

Cleaning out my closet II

Well, people have been making fun of me because of my inability to throw away my old clothes. I don’t know if this is going to make things worse or better, but I am a bit proud of my self anyway.
As I count on moving soon again I thought it might be a good idea to go through all the cardboard boxes I have with stuff before I move them to a new location. I started with the stuff that has been standing at my parents’ place since I left Gothenburg, now almost ten years ago. Wow, how many old books and papers and note books from university time!! Amazing!!! Have I read these books!?!! Did I make these notes?!?! Have I written these papers and exams??!?! Damn, I got a good note on this!! And now I don’t remember anything!!

I decided to throw it all away! If I would ever need the knowledge I will most certainly have to start all over again anyway! But I suppose that’s what they say; education is what you have left once you forgot what you have learned!

Stress behaviour

This time when I haven’t been working and been living a somewhat other kind of life I have been thinking quite a lot about stress and how it affects people. I would normally say I can handle stress pretty well and that it does not affect me, but it has been very interesting to be in this position were I have been so completely un-stressed and able to see how it affects other people. I can see how my friends and family are affected even though they might not be aware of it themselves. I can see that people around me act strangely because they are stressed but I also see how much better I can handle stressed people when I am in this situation myself. If I had been living my normal life, I am not sure I would have realised, but most probably just would have been irritated because of their irrational behaviour. I hope I will be able to bring this new experience and knowledge with me when I start working again. This period has really been so good and useful and I have learnt so much! I am pretty sure I will soon start working again and although I still don’t even know in what part of the world, which says quite a lot about what a weird life I live, I hope I will be able to take this experience with me.

Of course this not knowing where and when you will have to move again is also causing a sort of stress. Yesterday i.e. I went into town to see a friend. Before seeing her I made some errands and then while waiting for here I started wondering; didn’t I have a plastic bag with a pair of shoes?! And where is that now? Yes I did, but after I picked them up at the shoemaker I went to the pharmacy and obviously left them there! Today I went to the supermarket especially to buy lime, while there I also bought some other things, at home I realised I must have forgot the lime at the counter. After I paid for it. This absent-mindedness is so typical stress behaviour.

Horses

Some of my friends seem to wonder what I do all day when I don't work. To explain that a bit better I will introduce some of the friends I have been seeing when I don't see you, my human, urban friends.

Here I am riding Pepperon.

This is Pepperon







Here is Graffe.



Let me introduce Zillah.

























Here is the great Dacke! The one I ride most of the time. So nice and kind.

And here is Uno, unfortunately he is not the most clever horse.

The young ones.

A Star is Born!

Just came back in from the stables. My sister's horse just gave birth to the sweetest little foal. It is just so cute with its big head and long matchstick legs and it is absolutely fascinating just to watch. It is the first foal being born here that I can remember, and I am absolutely thrilled. Especially as I consider this foal mine. Once upon a time, a long time ago, when my pony was sold, my sister promised me: "don't worry, we will buy you a new horse!". I still haven't seen that horse, so hence this foal must be mine! My sister does not agree!


Look at this little beauty and his proud mother, Florence!! Here he is only about twelwe hours old.

Word of the day.

Be careful with what you whish!
It might come true.

Too much, but nothing to tell..

It is funny how you think you have made a decision and then, by coincidence, you get information that changes everything. The last couple of days so many things have happened and still it feels as if nothing happens, but somehow it seems the bloody ketchup bottle just exploded and I am too confused to tell anything about it... I think I will have to take a blog pause.

Sense or sensibility

I seem to be tending towards the more sensible and adult alternative. To chose the nice job in the shitty town. But I really feel deep agony and anxiety. I might be mad, but I am seriously so much more afraid of moving to this small, prosperous, extremely safe and secure town in middle south Sweden, than to the capital of one of the most corrupt and criminal countries of the world. What to do? What's wrong with me??

The ketchup effect and doing the right thing..

This weekend my aim was to figure out what to do and make some rather important decisions. I am glad it is a long weekend!! For all of a sudden I have a few concrete offers to consider, you know the ketchup effect; first there is nothing, then comes nothing and then more of nothing and then finally there is more than you can handle. So, now I have three job offers (and maybe a fourth that I haven’t had the final decision about yet), that I need to give an answer to as soon as possible, as none of them is really optimal it is not so easy. First of all, none of them is a permanent position, so regardless of which I would choose I would still have the feeling of temporality and I would still have to continue to look for another job. Ok, two of them might get extended, but you can never take things like that for granted. Two of them are until the end of the year and the third only till the end of August. One is in Stockholm where I used to work, not the same position that I quit, but with the same employer in a better position. That means; I know what to expect and there are no unpleasant surprises and I can live in a place where I already have a lot of nice friends. On the other hand, I will not learn anything new, I will not get new experiences and it will not take me further. The second is the nice job in the ugly little small town I have been writing about before. I thought I had gotten used to the thought of moving there, but when they only could offer me a temporary position a lot changed. With a temporary position I know I will not be able to adapt myself as well and the move felt a lot less tempting. The third choice is for a summer position at the embassy in Abuja, the place I would never go to, but that now really is tempting me.

I know that the most sensible thing would be to move to the small town and take the nice job, for even if it is just temporary it might lead to other things and I will get new experiences and a new network. And of course I will not have to live all my life in that small town, if I really don’t like it the fact that it is only a temporary job can make it easy for me to leave. This choice is for sure the most sensible and “adult” choice. Why can I then not feel sensible and adult!?!

On the other hand people often say you should follow your gut-feeling when making decisions, your gut never lies. My gut wants to go to Nigeria! This is probably my only chance to go to Nigeria; it is not really a tourist destination. It would be exciting and interesting, but it would leave me in the same position in September again. But who knows maybe September is better than January…

So, how is it? Should one really listen to your head or your stomach???

Bad thing about being an adult!

I suppose it is normal that taste changes (gets more mature?) as you get older and I think it is mostly for the better, I mean I really appreciate that I like olives now, which I did not when I was a kid. But there is one thing that I really feel sad about and that has changed for the worse. I am not as fond of ice cream as I used to be!!
I still like and eat ice cream, but I don’t get that happy, completely satisfied feeling from eating ice cream anymore. I used to easily devour litres of ice cream, now I often get enough after a couple of small spoons. Sometimes I even feel disappointed as I still think I like it as much as I used to. I can look forward to have some of my favourite ice, but when I get it and take the fist bite, I feel it does not taste as I want it to and I feel disappointed. Sometimes I even throw away my ice before I finish even half of it!!! That is sad. Bad thing about being an adult!

Have you ever been drunk?

To day I got a (another) proof of how out of this world my father is. Or at least of how little he knows me. Or maybe what he wants to know about his daughters. I was having lunch with my parents and the discussion somehow led in on alcohol and all of a sudden he asks me; “Gudrun, have you ever been drunk? “
I almost choked and did not know how to react. Especially as I realise that there is no humour or irony in his question. My mother burst out laughing, but I really did not know what to say. Especially as he somehow seemed to misunderstand our reactions and started explaining; “I mean have you ever drunk that much that you felt dizzy? Not, that I think you have, but…..”
Come on!!!
The only thing I could say was that if he hadn’t figured that out by now, he needn’t know now either and that the question might have been motivated when I was 15, but now…..

Have a nice weekend!
I will go and get drunk! :-)

Difficult travelling

This weekend I realised that travelling is not always so easy! Especially not if you travel by Swedish rail. I will not comment on the one hour delay we had on the way from Gothenburg to Helsingborg as that was due to some accident between Varberg and Falkenberg and I kind of assumed that it could have been someone who committed suicide and that is really nothing you can blame SJ (Swedish Rail) for. But my friends who were travelling from Germany to Helsingborg got stuck in Malmö simply because the rail company did not have any staff!!
The worst thing was however when we tried to get the tickets for one of my German friend who wanted to go back to Osnabrück on Sunday. First we went to the travel centre/ train station in Helsingborg. There we found out that there was no ticket counter. You could buy tickets for domestic travel in the automats or at a kiosk, but not for international travel. When we asked how to get tickets to Germany they referred us to the internet or the phone booking. I thought that was absolutely amazing. However, I tried to make the call only to find out that the international ticket office was open Monday to Friday 8 o’clock to 18 o’clock. Period, full stop! At the homepage I got the same information. No possibility to make the reservation there, but only a reference to the same phone number! Amazing! It is really not possible to get an international train ticket on a weekend!!! Unless you happen to be in Stockholm, Gothenburg, Malmö, Lund or Uppsala!!
On the way back to Gothenburg the train was running on time, but there was no staff on the train the whole trip! What a pity I had bought the ticket as no one checked it; I could have saved the fare! I wonder where hell all the money that I have spent on train tickets this last year has gone!

Helsingborg weekend of a different kind

This weekend I am off to another weird thing. For the second time I will work at a coin fair! I did it last year and this year as well it is in Helsingborg. It was a very interesting experiense, not that I know much (or rather anything) about coins though, but it was still interesting. One thing at least that hopefully will be different this year is that we all agreed on not having a big night out the first evening, leaving all of us terribly hung over the first day of the fair. That was not good. For anyone who might be interested in collecting coins, this is the company I will be representing: http://www.kuenker.de

Have a nice weekend everyone!

Small Spring Problems

This last week it has been a wonderful warm and sunny spring weather. At some point I even think Sweden had the highest temperatures in Europe, which of course is not normal. It is much warmer than normal for the season. This means you face a number of small unexpected problems. Of course you want to sit out in a street café, but realise that there hardly are any. To set out a couple of tables and chairs outside your café or restaurant, before the first of April, you need a special permit! Another thing you want is to enjoy a refreshing ice cream. Then you might end up with a piece that is more ice than cream, as you never know if your ice cream is from this season or has hibernated the whole winter in a less temperature stable freezer. Uack!

Standard small town

Today I made a short visit to the dreaded small town earlier mentioned. Hmmm… was rather interesting. I survived though!

Hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t seen a Swedish small town, but for anyone who has, the pattern is familiar, big empty square, same shop chains as everywhere Konsum, Fonus and Systembolaget (in this case next door neighbour to the Salvation Army!) a slow pace of life and an impressing amount of old people with walkers!









To its advantage today was a very warm and sunny spring day, which makes any place look a little more pleasant, but still…



There are definitely some parts of the town that are very idyllic. Or as friends of mine would call it; it is an "idyllajävel".



What really struck me was the amount of old ladies with walkers. But as a friend later commented; those are probably the only people up that early in the morning without any particular place to go, so they might not be representable for the whole population of the town.

Women and shoes

Sometime I just hate my self for doing stupid things. Today I did something stupid, and was angry with myself, but then I was surprised how much support I got fot it anyway.
For four days I have been thinking about a pair of shoes I first saw in a shop in Zwolle. I absolutely don't need them and I don't really have money to spend on more shoes right now, but I liked them!
Anyway, I tried to be sensible and did not immediatly buy them. The day after I tried them on in Utrecht again, but still hesitated. Maybe one does not have to buy everything one likes, i thought! The day after that I had another look at them in Amsterdam, but still did not buy them. Yesterday I found out that my flight back to Stockholm today was not departing 12.00 as I thought but 14.20. Excellent I thought! That is a sign! I will buy the shoes. Leaving Ilpendam in time to go to the shop in Amsterdam and buy them before going to the airport I felt fine and happy about my decision. Unfortunatly I did not remember exactly where the shop was and coming out from the wrong direction from the Central Station I ended up in the very wrong place. I realised that and started walking back to where the shop must be. I did not have a map, but was dragging my suitcase with me so it took me quite long time to come back to the right street. I also realised I was running out of time, but at this point my stubbornness had taken over and I was not ready to give up my shoes. Finally I got the shoes and surprisingly they were 10 Euros less in this shop so I was happy. I took the tram back to the station but was very well aware of that I was short on time. Well to make the story a little shorter, I got the shoes but missed my plane!
Fortunately I did not have to buy a new ticket but they just rebooked me on a (much) later flight. I think this is due to the understanding KLM-staff! At the check-in and at the ticket couter I met nice women who completely understood my situation and found it quite natural that you can miss a flight because you have to buy shoes. "Women and shoes" said one of the nice ladies and smiled. So maybe I am not such an untypical women after all! :-)

Cleaning out my closet?

So, is there any statistical measure of how many clothes an average person needs? I actually decided to try to bring some order in my closet and yesterday while taking all clothes out (and putting most of it back again!) I counted the pieces of clothes I have. I somehow feel it is quite a lot. At least I got tired after having taken care of only one of my three closets. In this one closet I found:
20 knitted jumpers
13 cardigans
4 polo-/turtle neck sweaters
20 t-shirts
9 jumpers/tops
9 skirts
11 pair of jeans
7 pair of other trousers
Leisure and sports wear not counted!

And besides this I have two other closets like this one, packed with shirts, skirts, suites, dresses, jackets and trousers, a chest of drawers which contains most of my tops and t-shirts and an unknown number of cardboard boxes full of clothes in the basement of my parent’s house. Also not counted are the clothes just being washed or waiting to be washed (i.e. the clothes I actually use the most) and the clothes I keep in a big walk in closet at my parent’s place.
It seems quite a lot, doesn’t it? Is it normal? I have no idea. I just know I find it very hard to throw or give away any of my clothes, even though I am fully aware of that I only use a fraction of them. Maybe I would need one of those styling experts that come home to you and just pick clothes out of your closet (and give you new nicer ones!) A friend told me, however, that that is pretty normal to have a lot of clothes that you don’t use. Apparently the clothes in your closet fall under a rather general 80-20 rule, which means you only use 20 percent of them. Or how was it Karin?

The friendly dentist problem

I just cancelled an appointment with my dentist. In a way that should be a very normal thing to do, as I really can not make it that day, but I also told them I don’t want to come there for a while and that felt a bit strange. The thing is she wants to remove a wisdom tooth and I don’t want to let her do that. At least not right now. I have absolutely now problems with it now. I don’t say she is wrong when she says I will get, but I am fine now and as it is so extremely expensive to go to the dentist it is just not on top of my priorities right no. Let’s deal with the problems when they are problems. But I have another problem to: I started going to this particular dentist quite recently and I am quite satisfied and she and her husband whith whom she is working, are both extremely nice, but I have the feeling they are even more expensive than other dentists. Therefore I have considered to change and to try finding another dentist, but that is not so easy to tell them, as they are so nice. And here I discovered a problem I was not aware of: I don’t want to find my dentist nice! I don’t want to like my dentist as a person! I want her/him to do a good job, but I will still hate going to the dentist so I don’t want them to be my friends. At least not unless they are such good friend they give me a huge discount!

Modern Stalking

It is amazing what Google can do for stalkers! Not that I am stalking anyone, nor even googling people regularly, but recently I was sitting in front of my computer and was a bit bored and somehow came to think of an old ex-boyfriend. “Hmmm, I wonder what he is doing now” I thought and then I just tipped in his name in Google. I did not find any certain information about him, not like he had a private homepage or so. I did not even find a picture to prove that it was really the person I was looking for and not just another with the same name. But I did however find traces of him and they were clear enough to make me sure it was him. I found his name on the homepage of his work and that made sense. Not that he was working there those 15 years ago I knew him, but I think he mentioned that is what he would like to do. I also found some advertisements he had submitted in a local paper, all addresses pointed to the place where he used to live, these ads told me what sports he is (still) doing and from them I could also tell he and his girlfriend have three kids. From another advertisement a year later, I could guess they are not planning more children as he was selling some baby equipment… Then it got almost scary and I stopped googling. It felt as if I was sneaking into someone’s life and I felt uncomfortable. I am happy there is nothing to be found about me at Google. You will not even find this blog!

International Women's day

By the way, before this day ends I will have to make some comment on the fact that it is International Women's Day.
Not that I really know what to think about the fact that there is such a day, as I think every day should be women's day. Just as much as they are men's day or children's days. But anyway, as there are still quite some unjust and unequal treatment of the sexes I send a thought to all you intelligent, strong, independent, brave, modern and smart people -women and men - out there, who have the guts and energy to stand up for equal rights. Especially of course for all the women how still sometimes face themselves put in second place after a less intelligent, strong, independent, brave, modern and smart man, whose only exclusive quality is that he is male. You go girls! Fight on! Don't give up!

Shadow Sculptures

When I was in Malmö recently, I visited a gallery in the very fancy building Turning Torso. http://www.gallerimiva.com There I found some very nice sculptures (and very appropriate for the building!). They are made by the artist Randy Cooper and are bodies/torsos made of metallic cloth. http://www.randycooperart.com/galleries.asp?id=187
The very fascinating thing about them are the shadows the cast, therefore they are called Shadow Sculptures.
So if anyone would like to give me some nice present any time, this is a good tip! :-)

Riots??!!

It is fascinating that it always seems to be riots in Copenhagen when I am there. I don't know whether it is because there always are some kind of riots or if I just have been there too often lately, but I can assure you: I didn't do anything!!
We were not even caught by the police and did not notice anything..

Semmeltårta!

I will write this post in Swedish because it is about a phenomenon so Swedish you will not understand it unless you are Swedish anyway!

Jag vill nämligen skriva semmeltårtans lov!

Ja, jag gillar semlor och tycker att de är en av de få bra sakerna med den här årstiden, men semmeltårtan är faktiskt ännu ett snäpp bättre. Jag har ju vetat att de finns länge, men det är först i år jag upptäckt deras förträfflighet. Tidigare har jag nog tyckt att de är ett onödigt modernt påfund (ja, jag kan vara lite konservativ ibland jag också). Men det är ju fantastiskt smart! Eftersom man skär en lagom stor bit så kan man bestämma själv hur mycket eller lite man vill ha och slipper därmed den där äckelmätta känslan som man ibland kan få efter att ha tryckt i sig en hel semla. Dessutom blir det mindre andel torr bulle per portion eftersom man skär den i delar. Helt strålande! Ok, nu kanske en semmeltårta inte är något man sticker iväg och köper till sig själv, men är man några stycken så... Den räcker ju dessutom ett tag och så länge inte grädden blir äcklig betyder ju det att man kan gå och mumsa på semmeltårta längre! :-)

To blog or not to blog...

For being a blogger myself, I read very few other blogs, partly because whenever I do I feel like stop blogging myself. Either I find other people’s blogs so much better than my own, which makes me feel inferior and wonder why I am doing this; or they are so pretentious they just make me tired; or I find the other blogs so extremely bad and nerdy that I start to wonder if mine is too. Nevertheless, I will keep doing it for a while still.

However, the last couple of days, there has been a massive media debate about the blog of Sweden’s minister for foreign affairs, Carl Bildt. He has been criticized for using his blog to vent personal opinions on foreign policy and other issues in a way that would not be suitable for a person in his position and also for using it for spreading information without having to answer to the critical questions of journalists. Therefore I had to read his blog today and some of the comments there. I must say, I don’t understand what the fuss is about. Isn’t blogging just about giving a personal view on things? And I am quite sure he is smart enough not to reveal any state secrets on his blog. And isn’t a blog a perfect way to communicate directly to those interested, without the filter of not always very objective and unbiased journalists? Because I can not imagine that he would stop talking to journalists completely.

With all respect for some journalists, I have to say that many journalists and media in general have lost credibility. They seem to see themselves as a purpose of it’s own, never to be questioned themselves. Questioning a journalist sees to be the worst thing you can do sometime.

Without any other comparison between my blog and Carl Bildt’s blog, I see we have one thing in common; he started writing in English but has shifted to Swedish after some consideration. I have been thinking about that too, as I feel most of the readers understand Swedish and above all, I think the quality would increase if I did. But at the same time, I need the practise and I know some non-Swedish-speaking people read it every now and then and those are the one I speak to most seldom anyway, so I will continue…