March 8

Well, I just felt I had to write something about women and feminism today; the 8 March, International Women’s day. I can not say I have done anything to celebrate it or taken any political action to improve women’s situation today. Not that I use to either, but today I felt rather miserable because of a cold that I caught more than a wee ago and that is not getting any better and on top of that the weather is also absolutely miserable so I stayed inside the whole day and spent quite some time in bed or on the couch reading.

Very suitable however, the book that I am reading is dealing a lot with feminism and related issues and a big part of the book relates to manifestations held or planned to be held in Belgrade on March 8, 2008. The book is written by a friend of mine, who I met when I was living in Belgrade in 2005, but as the book is written later I don’t know the people she is writing about nor was I there when the things took place. However it is very interesting to read. I know the places she writes about and I feel I would have liked to get to know the people. The book shows the situation for feminists, gay and queer activists in a rather traditional, patriarchal society during times of strong nationalistic influence. I am impressed by the energy and the commitment of these persons and also of their sense for enjoying life. I wonder what I would have been like if I had been living as they did in Serbia during the 90.s.

Reading the book also got me thinking about what it means to be different and about group identity. This is anyway one of my favourite topics and something I have been discussing a lot recently with a gay friend of mine. Since I moved to The Small Town I have felt very very different from my surrounding. I can describe it like being a non-fitting part of a puzzle. The colour looks the same so you might think you fit, but every time you try to fit in you realise that there is no way you ever will and for every time you try your own shape threatens to get misshaped and it hurts. It feels like running head first in to a wall, time after time. My friend had the same feeling; he explained it like being among people who speak your language yet you don’t understand what they say and they don’t understand you. I think he had the feeling much of this was because he is gay and that might not be so easy in any small town. But I claim that is not the full explanation. I am as “normal” as you can be in this place, white, Swedish, heterosexual, not physically handicapped and even born in a small place in Sweden. So there is actually no “obvious reason” why I should not fit in here, and still it is absolutely not possible…

It is all a state of mind. How you feel about who you are and what you are. I find it very interesting to think about how important it is to us humans to fit in and to find some kind of belonging, no matter how different we think we are. Sometimes I think this is even more obvious in small towns. Inevitably you will find in every small town a group of people who think they are very different. The thing is only that they, among themselves all look the same. There are those clusters of “different” people. They might think they differ from the rest, but in the group they are all rather similar. They might dress the same way, eat the same kind of food, listen to the same kind of music, and vote for the same party etc etc. Hence they are rather predictable.

I don’t know a lot about queer-theory, but I find it very interesting and appealing. However also within the queer groups there is certain conformity. You have to be queer the “right” way. This was something that (again) struck me reading the book. There was a chapter about the joy and disappointment among the queer/gay/feminist community in Serbia after Marija Serifovic won the Eurovision Song Contest in 2007. The community hoped that this victory might be a positive force for their cause, her being lesbian and not representing the standard Serbian female ideal. Therefore the disappointment was big when she didn’t seem to want to play that part, but instead even performed at an election campaign for the radical party. I can understand the disappointment that anyone, no matter who, is campaigning for the Serbian radical party, but still I can not help to think that this is really queer. Here’s a Serbian, lesbian, of roma ethnicity, who just won the Eurovision Song Contest and not with some turbo-folk song, and who does not look like a traditional Serbian female star, but still supports the radicals. I want to once more stress that I don’t share or even understand her political choice and I can understand those who would have liked her to take another stand, but still I think this is queer. Isn’t it?! It is very unexpected and unpredictable. And isn’t that a lot what queer is about?! And what feminism is about?! The right to be who you are and make your own choices free from pre-set patterns and expectations?!

I believe it is, and one of the queerest persons I have ever met was a white, straight German guy who would not stand out in a crowd by his looks. He was (and I guess still is) a vegetarian and strong supporter of the German green party, which fits nicely together, but at the same time he was also an almost fanatic football fan and devoted fan of country music. To me that is a very unexpected combination and therefore queer.

So; cheers to all you wonderful unique individuals out there! No matter who or what you are I hope you will have the right to continue to be who and what you are and please, be kind to and respect each other.

Love