More Flexible Holidays Please!!

Quite recently I read about some multi religious country, it might have been Bosnia, where students in schools and employees can choose a certain number of days off from school or work, due to religious celebrations. I think that is a great idea for any modern society. We need more flexible holidays. Not only because of different religions, but maybe also due to how much value you put on different holidays and different traditions.

I must say that I find Christmas a terrible waste of days off from work. I don’t mind having days off from work, don’t get me wrong, but I would prefer to place them at a time of my choice, not in the middle of winter when travels to the sun is double the price as the weeks before and after. I actually offered to work these days, but at my normal job there is really nothing to do these days.

I would have preferred to have more days off at around midsummer or Easter or any other time of the year. I have promised myself this must be the last time I spend Christmas like this, but on the other side I think I said that last year too. I wonder how much in advance it is possible to book a trip for next December…

Merry Whatever

Christmas is indeed a weird holiday. Not for why it is celebrated, although that is weird enough, but for what it does to people. Normally I would say I kind of like the concept of the celebrations, I mean I do enjoy seeing my family and spend time with them and as December in Sweden is cold and dark it is nice to make it cosy at home and light candles etc, but sometimes it just gets too much. This year definitely so. I really just would have liked to stay at home, sleeping a lot and reading my books. But somehow that is not socially acceptable only because it is a certain day of the year!! Weird!!! So many people have told me “no, you can not be home alone on Christmas! You must not!” I don’t get it at all! Why not now if I want to?! It is never a problem any other time. Of course it is sad for people who would like to celebrate with someone, but don’t have anyone and therefore are alone. I do have people to celebrate with, but why can I not choose to be on my own?! None of these people would be on their own, involuntarily, if I would not be with them so that is not a reason.

Well well, now I have decided to go home to the family anyhow and I guess it will be ok, that is, it will be as every year. And quite unsurprisingly I have caught a cold just in time, but nevertheless I wish you all a very merry what ever you are doing…

A Good Day

Today was a rather good day. Not only because I had taken the day off, but just generally good. Before lunch I had already had two saffron-buns, coffee with a good friend, two gorgeous twin babies smiling at me, played with a cute dog, a hair cut and being called “principessa” by an Italian street vendor. Not bad! That would never happen in The Small Town! After that I had lunch with another good friend, a meeting that felt quite ok as well as some time for shopping before getting on the train back in time for boxing.

On the train back there was even a man sitting opposite me who said I was very beautiful and the kind of woman every man wants. Unfortunately the man was a completely stoned professional alcoholic, probably also on other drugs and a criminal, very likely on the run from one of the major prisons, wearing two pairs of jeans and two coats, all smelly and he was taken off the train by the police two stations later…. If that is the kind of men that fall for me, no wonder I am single… and maybe I should be happy.

Anti-Climax and a Dilemma

I am still in chock or at least somewhat confused. Today was the day when all of us working in the office on a time limited contract would get to know if we would have a job in january or not. I felt very sure I would not and was prepared for that. Ok, I admit I was not happy about the possibility to be the only one not getting anything and see all the colleagues get new jobs, but still I was prepared for it.

I did not really realise how prepared I was for it until everything changed. I was offered a job. Albeit a job I applied for, but not my first hand choice and I only applied for it as I assumed it would be in Stockholm. Now the job I was offered is in The Next Somewhat Bigger Town!! That basically made my whole world tumble down!!

I might be stupid, maybe mad and for sure a bit crazy, but still I realise I can not turn down an offer of a permanent job in times of financial crises and recession. And I know I should be happy as many of my colleagues did not get a job at all. And this position might develope into something rather interesting and this position is also exists in the Stockholm office and my new boss knows I would prefer to work there and there might be a chance to be transfered in the future and and and.... Yes!! I know I should be happy and grateful, but still I had to go into the restroom and cry several times during the day and I felt like throwing up at times. I was so disappointed!! The only thing that has kept me going for the last couple of months was the prospect of getting out of here. What ever happened I would not be here anymore. Now I am stuck!

Not only stuck! I have to make decisions on where to live. Should I move to The Next Somewhat Bigger Town altough I don't want to live there either and have no plans to stay there very long?? Should I stay here and commute and hope to be transfered to Sthlm as soon as possibel?! But still, it is 45 km to TNSBT, one way, with poor public transport and this job also has on-duty service. I don't know!! And I really don't feel like moving one single time more than neccessary.

I really was so prepared for not getting a job and getting ready to leave and move away from here. I had even started to plan my dinners and my eating so I would not have to buy more food but finish as much as possible of what I already have! And now, here I am!!

Back again

Back in The Small Town again. It is amazing, but it only took two weeks away from here for me to almost forget my home address! Yesterday when I took a taxi back from the station and the driver asked me whereto had to think for quite some time! On the other hand I was at that time so tired I could hardly remember my name. The course I have attended was really good. Now I know much more about disaster management, who knows, maybe I now even know much enough to get my own life in order! :-)
The best thing about the course maybe still was the participants. A very nice group of people from a whole range of countries and different fields and backgrounds. Very nice! I do hope at least some of us will manage to stay in touch. At least maybe on Facebook!

Being in An Enven Smaller Place, where there is nothing at all to do except working on the course and being with the participants meant I got quite some sleep in the beginning of the course, went to bed early and slept well. But as the course proceeded and we all got to know each other better there were more things going on in the evenings. Before the grand finale, the closing dinner, I was already sleep deprived and slightly hung over, the day after I was nearly dead. The course finished on Friday and then I went to Stockholm to spend the weekend there with friends, but yesterday I was so tired I just could take no more and voluntarly left to go back to The Small Town earlier than I had to, just to get some proper sleep. Unbeliveably!!

In An Even Smaller Place

Belive it or not, but I will be spending the rest of this week and the next in a place even smaller than The Small Town, significantly smaller, but I am looking forward to it!!
I am taking part in a training and really look forward to totally focus on one thing for such a long time and in the evenings there will be nothing else to do than to work a little, exercise and then sleep and relax. Lovely! Ok, you might ask; what is the difference to life in The Small Town? The difference is that that is supposed to be a life, this is only for ten days and that is it!!

It is also very nice to be out of the office at the moment as there is not a very pleasant atmosphere there right now. I only whished I had had the time to send a couple of applications before I came here, then I could have tried to think of something else for a change.

An All Time Low

Tonight I had another incredible bad experience with the local “hospitality-business”. I had suggested to my colleagues who live here in The Small Town that we should meet at one of the restaurant/bars here for an after work beer. I arrived first together with a colleague. We took seats in front of the fireplace (the whole place was basically empty) wanted to eat and ordered at the bar. The waitress then asked us if it was only the two of us or if there would be more. We said there would probably be more people coming, but that we did not know whether they would eat or not. Then she told us we could not sit where we had taken seats if we wanted to eat, but had to move over to the “restaurant part”. We asked why, as we have been eating there before, but the only answer we got was that it was a new rule and we could not. To get the picture the place is divided into two parts, one more lounge-style pub part with sofas and a fire place and on the other side a more formal restaurant part. This part is rather dull if you are not really having a formal dinner with a lot of people. Tonight the whole place, both parts, was more or less empty. It was the two of us, two Russians and one other person.

The menu is rather expensive (especially if you consider the quality you can expect) and the only thing you really can order is hamburger from the “pub-menu”. We have always been sitting in the pub part even if we have ordered food, which of course is nicer if you are a group if people were some are eating but some only drinking. But now all of a sudden that was not possible any longer. We asked politely if we really could not sit there as it still was just the two of us and said we would really prefer to sit there. But no! With no further explanation. And remember, the place is basically empty. Anyway we sat down in front of the fireplace and drank our beer while waiting for the food. Somehow I think we thought it would still be ok to eat there once the food as ready and then we would also know if more people would like to eat.

In a corner there was a big screen TV showing ice-hockey (no special game, not even the local heroes) but the TV was on mute. Until all of a sudden the waitress turns up the volume very high, so high, talking was no longer easy. My colleague and I were sitting with our backs towards the screen and the Russians did not look too interested either, the other guest seemed to watch absently. Anyway, before I asked the waitress to turn the volume down, I asked if she had turned up on request and she said she did. I still felt it was a little too much, but never mind. If the guy wanted to follow the game; ok. After a while two other colleagues turn up and the service does not get any better and the attitude from the waitress is not very nice nor service minded. But we try to mind ourselves. After a while she comes and tells of our food is ready and expect us to move over to the restaurant. Again we ask if we can not remain where we are and eat our food there. But no!! It is not possible. When we ask why not, we only get a very irritated answer that they have decided that food is to be served on one side and not the other!! Still remember the place is basically empty. We are the only eating guests. We still remain in our chairs. Somehow the whole atmosphere is gone as well as the appetite. If it was not for the fact that we had already paid for the food I think we would have left. After some time again the waitress just stands at our table with our plates, looking as if she would throw them at us. Ok, better move and eat the food.

I don’t really remember all the little details anymore, but there were all those little things all the time. The colleague who arrived last had not ordered yet but he got the picture and said that he would have liked to eat, but that the way they treat their customers made him lose appetite and only asked for a glass of wine. In the restaurant they also had a big screen TV showing the hockey very loudly. We asked the waitress, still politely, if she could turn the volume down in this part and she said yes. But nothing happened. After a while we asked again, but still nothing happened. After yet a while I see that the only man watching the game had left, then I said that I don’t really think there is anyone interested anymore and asked her if she could switch off. Then she gives us a very weird answer that she can not, she has to have some sound on. When we remarked that there was no sound on when we arrived she said that then she had played music and that it was part of her work to have some sound on at all times. Ok, that is fine, please put on some music then, was our answer, which is much better than ice hockey. The she turns the TV off, but we get no music. So the rest of our dinner we sit all on our own in this very un-charming restaurant in silence. I tell you, it feels very empty.

Ok, the burger was good, but the atmosphere was completely gone as well as all potential fun. As soon as we finished the food we decided to pay and leave for some other place and tell the others who were coming that we left and why! I was planning to tell the waitress that this was not meant personally against her, but that she could forward our opinion to her boss that we find their new policy very unfriendly etc. But I never got that far. When we approach the bar to pay before leaving the manager himself comes out and starts yelling at us. Blaming us for harassing his staff, being impolite and rude and I don’t know what now. He even told us we did not have to come back there anymore. On that we easily could agree!! He even blamed everyone from our office, saying they have had problems with “us” before, complaining and treating them in a patronising “von oben” way and “only because you are an important customer you can not treat us badly”. We were all completely flabbergasted. This was so unheard of! The fact that most “normal” businesses try to treat there important customers good, seemed completely unheard of to him. In the end we could not do anything more than laugh and agree on that we would never ever set our feet there again. Before leaving, while still at the bar, I could not help calling someone that I knew would come and tell them we were leaving and would meet them somewhere else. I could of course have waited and made that call outside, but I just wanted them to hear that. Later another pub had 15 guests that this place wasted.

I really think no one can understand how bad this was, unless you were there. I would never have believed it if I weren’t.

The Small Town did it again!!

Now when I am getting more and more ready to leave The Small Town I had actually planned to write something positive about the place and list some of the good things that I have discovered, there are actually a few. But then, today I got a new parking ticket and that changed everything!

It was exactly the same situation as last time and at the same parking lot. But this time they did even a little better job, they caught me only six minutes after my parking fee had expired. Cut their record by a whole minute!! Well done!!

I did not freak out exactly as much as last time. Only shouted: “Where are you; you fucking retard??” and gave a finger in all directions. (Very mature I admit!) I am sure there is some retarded person who is sitting in a car or in some of the windows around the parking, with a clock and binoculars and dart out to give a ticket as soon as possible.

I just don’t understand how the hell this shitty little asshole of a town believes they can afford to have this kind of parking policy! If it is something this town has plenty of it is space. How the hell can they think they can charge that way for it?! At the same time they complain that the shops in the city centre can not survive and close down one after the other. Surprised?! Not really! Never thought of offering people who want to shop in the city free parking?! Most other “normal” towns, of the same size that I know of, do. There is not really like this place has a parking problem they have to control this way, there were plenty of free spaces. The parking lots in the centre have a parking fee 24/7!!! You don’t find that even in Stockholm city!! Bloody Small Town! I hate it!!

This means I need to get yet a little closer to my move away from here to feel generous enough to write something positive about the place.

The Ulitmate Question

I think I might have found the ultimate question for an employment interview.

If I was to interview someone that I might employ I would ask if that person had a pet as a child (or have one now, maybe). If he or she had, I would ask what kind of pet and for how long he/she had the pet. I think that might be the ultimate question to find out how responsible someone is.

I have realised that some people, in their profession, treat work assignments as pets. Some collects them and take on more than they can handle. Some like them when they are small and cute, but can not really envisage that it needs to be fed every day and that the litter box won’t empty itself or that it might grow and stay around for a long time and when they realise that, they just let someone else take over and they have found a new hobby…

I would not like people like that working for me. And I am quite fed up working with that kind of people.

Happy to not be American!

I soo look forward to when the US-election is over!!!
I am so sick and tired of hearing about the campaining and whos going to win. It feels it has been going on for ever. First the primaries and then the real campain. Do people really care?!

I am also quite amazed by how biased the Swedish media is. It is pretty obvious they all support and expect Obama to win, and have been the whole time. Gone is every kind of objectivness and impartiality. It is also rather obvious how amused and satisfied the journalists are when they find some really ignorant and stupid rednecks full of predjudice and manage to catch some stupid opinions on tape. It makes me scared. Scared both to know that people like that get to vote about the most powerful post in the world, but also scared to see how little integrity Swedish journalists have. But most of all it makes me happy that I am not American!!

Freezing cold...

As always at this time of the year I start to wonder how the hell I am going to survive the winter. I am freezing!! Constantly freezing. It does not matter how much or how warm clothes I wear, I am still cold. My hands and fingers are ice cold during the day and at night it is mostly my feet that gets the worse. The only time I feel really warm is while taking a hot shower. And then the temperature has not even gone below zero yet!! Then I start to worry about what it will be like when the weather gets even colder. But somehow it works and I will most probably survive this winter too. But it is really annoying to have to go through this every year. I am so fed up being cold. I whish I lived in a warm country!!

Paprika Nation

Was in Skopje last weekend: Really nice!! Posted some picture, but decided to put them on the Travel-blog.

A Weekend in The Small Town!!!

It is amazing how relaxing it can be not to go anywhere on the weekend. One prerequisite is of course that you stay away from blending with The Small Town, but staying in the apartment with only short visits to the golf course was a great combination. I have slept a lot, sorted things out, did some work, watched movies, made some telephone calls and feel very relaxed. But it is really necessary that I don’t have any interaction with the town. I can see some of my colleagues, but not go out. Yesterday they had a party and would after that go to a night club; that I refused. You might call me arrogant or blame me for not giving the place a chance. But I am absolutely sure that I am better off not even setting my foot on one of those places. I know I will not like, worse I will only hate the place more. But staying at home is fine!!

Playing golf is also fine! That is one of the good things about the place. The golf course is nearby and most of the time there is not so many people playing, and today was a beautiful autumn day. Unfortunately of course there is nothing open in the small town on Sundays, so when I hit my last ball straight into the water at the 13.th hole I had to go home… Funnily that made me realise that obviously I am know at the club (although I know no one). Walking back I passed the three men playing ahead of me. One of them asked if I wanted them to let me pass. I explained that I was on my way back and was not playing anymore. Then he apologised for not having asked before if I wanted to pass, as I was playing alone. Then he said: “but if I remember correctly you don’t mind to wait and prefer to play alone”. I was flabbergasted, how the hell did he know that?!?! I can not remember ever having seen the man. But obviously they knew me. I guess I am the only member of the club that is neither related nor married to one of the members.

Back to normality?

I realise that if I move back to Stockholm I might not have anything to write about on the blog. After all the life in The Small Town is rather exotic. I was discussing the matter with some of my colleagues today, who are all happy about the prospect of finally get out of here, and we all agreed about The Small Town almost being as exotic as other places we have lived in, as Sudan, Kongo, CAR, Philppines, France; Italy etc etc, only more depressing and tragic. Stockholm is far more "normal".

Wednesday 10 AM in The Small Town

Today I had another experience that showed me who detached from The Small Town we, my colleagues and I, really are.



I woke up with a headache and had to go to the pharmacy and get some migraine medication before I could go to work today. Going down to the centre on a Wednesday morning at ten was an interesting experience. The place was full of people!!!! There was some kind of market on the main square and the pedestrian zone and loads of people. Of course still none between the ages of 20 to 60, but still people!! And at the pharmacy too!! There was a queue of people!! Still mostly old people. So this is what people do here!!! They hang around town at ten on weekday mornings!! I asked my colleagues if they knew anything about a market, no one did.

Application frustration

Today I have been trying to work on writing applications, but it is sooo frustrating and I absolutely utterly hate writing applications!! And if it wasn't bad enough, most of the employers I would like to apply for seem to use standardised web-based application forms. And that I hate more than anything!! It is so frustrating trying to force my somewhat chaotic and out-of-the-box-life into the standard form. It just doesn't work! And you can be pretty sure that the web-page will crash at least a couple of times while you are doing it and if you are really cursed the page can not be saved but filled in all at once, meaning you will have to start all over when it crashes. Sometimes you can not browse ahead to see what information is required. Meaning you will have to start filling it out step by step and then all of a sudden you come to a question like the exact date when you graduated high school, something noone normally is interested in. While you try to sort that out (or just invent a plausible date) you can be pretty sure the webpage will shut down and you have to start all over again.

I also can't help wondering if anyone ever got a job by applying through one of those web-forms. I for sure haven't. I believe it is just a way to get rid of some applicants. Therefore it is mostly used by employers who get a lot of applicants and this is a way to ger rid of many before they even manage to finish their applications. To the ones that manage the system sends an automatic reply and then they employ someone the already know...

Ahhh, that is one more reason why I hate to apply for these jobs, it seems so pointless! Please anyone!! Give me an interesting, qualified, well paid job that I don't have to apply for!!! :-)

In Between Days...

I have just realised I might find myself in a situation where I have neither job nor housing in January and February! Is this a sign of me being a bit unresponsible?? I don't know.
Nevertheless, that means I am very available for new things. I'd love a period abroad again, preferably in a warm climate;-). So, anyone who knows about a posting or a job for that period of time; don't hesitate but please let me know about it.

Talk the Talk

Sitting on the train back to The Small Town from Stockholm, I can not believe how much I dislike the dialect of the region. It makes me feel physically ill. Not when everyone speaks it of course. There are people I like so much, that can get away with it, but just strangers on a train talking in this particular dialect can make me so irritated and make me feel ill and feel I absolutely have to put my i-pod on. ! I find it one of the most appalling Swedish dialects. I know it is completely irrational and it is very personal. I think most other Swedes find it kind of charming and friendly. Friendly I can agree with, there is nothing evil about it, it just sounds very bad to my ear.

It is also so absolutely unsexy. Next to me is a man who might actually be considered good looking, but once he opened his mouth and started talking, it was all gone. This might be one of the reasons I haven’t seen one single attractive man since I moved to The Small Town (there are of course other reasons for that too, but I will not go into that here…). I find voices and the way a man talk very important if I am to find him attractive or not. But I believe I might have rather unorthodox views on what language or dialect I find sexy. I am not saying the Stockholm dialect is sexy, in Stockholm you hear a total mix of dialects anyway so it is kind of neutral and some Stockholmers actually sound rather stupid. Gothenburg dialect is fine as well as some dialects of the north, but there is a fine line, there are some northern dialects that I just don’t like at all. For languages the classical “language of love”; French don’t do anything for me, nor does Italian or Spanish, although I find Italian a very beautiful language. What really get me off is Danish and British English. Yeah, I told you I am strange!

It is also quite strange how I came to write about this on the blog… I don’t get it!! ??

Things moving fast

Sometimes happen quickly. Even more quickly than you expected or maybe even wanted, but then I try to think there is a meaning to it; to stop you from hesitating and thinking too much about it. All of a sudden I seem to have an apartment in Stockholm. A completely legal, fist hand contract for a rental apartment!! For those of you who are not familiar with the housing market in Stockholm I can just inform you this is something very rare and difficult to get by. It is like in a real socialist society, meaning that you either have to queue for it for 20 years, have good connections or pay bribes to get it. I did neither. I have been queuing, but only for seven year so I guess I was a bit lucky as well. Ok, it is not in the very city centre as I would have liked and it is a bit more expensive than other similar apartments, but nevertheless it is just outside the very centre, with good public transport very nearby and the reason for it to be expensive is that it is completely new. It actually does not even exist yet! I have only seen the building site and 3D-projections of it. At the same time as I signed the contract I got to choose wall paper, colour and the tiles in the kitchen and the bathroom. Cool eh!? (Although I had very little time to make the choice and very limited selection so I am very curious to see if I really will like what I have chosen.)

It all happened so fast and I had to make the decision very quick as well as signing the contract. I have had some agony about it as I still don’t have a job in Stockholm and might not even have a job at all after December. But on the other hand; I will be able to move into the new place only in March so there should be ample time to find something. Wow… fascinating and a bit scary, but it is about time I get out of The Small Town and get on with my life.

Glad to have no Economy

Just a short notice to let you know that I am still alive. Just haven't really felt like blogging for a while. A lot of work and lot of other things to sort out kind of drain my energy right now.

Sometimes things that are happening in the world can be food for blogging, but right now it is all about the world financial crisis and I find it hard to think about anything less inspiring. It is depressing, uninteresting and by now rather boring. I guess I should not complain though, for once you can be happy not to even have an economy. I feel very unaffected by the whole circus, I am not losing all my savings as I don't have any and I am not losing my home due to increasing interest rates as I never owned any, so things are pretty cool. I might not have a job after December, which of course might not be such a great thing in a recession, but things tend to work out somehow.

Well, maybe I am playing it a littler cooler that I actually feel, but more about that later...

Small Town Crime

Yesterday there was another “school-shooting” where ten people were killed before the perpetrator shot himself. This time it was in the small Finnish town of Kauhajoki. And as always when anything terrible happen there are interviews in the media and there are people saying they find it unbelievable that anything like that could happen “in this small town” and that they never thought anything like that could happen in “such a small town”. I guess it is natural not to expect things like that to happen to you, anyone you know or anywhere close to you. But if there is something we ought to know by now; it is that these things do happen, and to me it seems they happen more often in small places than in big cities. Ok, I haven’t checked this statistically, but of all the places I can think of where things like this have happened recently, none of them is a major city or capital. I am sure that on a per capita basis this kind of mad-man-crime is more prevalent in smaller towns and communities. So maybe it is really about time we stop romanticise the small town life.

Friday night in The Small Town

I am staying in The Small Town this weekend and tonight some colleagues of mine had a party. They live some way from where I live so I had a bicycle ride of ca 10-15 minutes back to my place. I left at around 1.30 and on the whole way home I did not see one single person or one single car!! On a Friday night!! This town is just soooo dead!! Can not wait to get out of here!!

Something new for dinner..

Today I found some really nice looking mushrooms. I think I will make a stew. Or maybe a risotto again... :-)

The Real Normal Life

Had a great weekend in Stockholm! Nothing special happened, it was just a nice weekend with friends, it was like life is supposed to be.

When I complain about living in The Small Town I sometimes get thrown at me that I can not expect life to be a constant party full of extravagant happenings. Although I don’t really understand why it could not, that is not what I expect. This weekend there were no extravagant party, it was just a very nice relaxed weekend with friends. I was in Stockholm already on Friday for a meeting. Therefore I went there already Thursday and had dinner with a friend. Friday morning I walked to the meeting in the sun. Just walking to and from the meeting and looking at the people you meet in the street and realise that there are still beautiful people in this world, (and handsome men!!!) was great. You never see that in The Small Town!! Just imagine being able to flirt during lunch!! Ok, I remember September is generally a good month for that in Stockholm, but nevertheless…

After work I met with some friends for a couple of beers, which was very nice. Nothing special and not late at all, just very nice. Saturday I played golf, after that I passed by some other friends who recently both moved and became parents, very nice!! After that I met up with other friends for some beers and food and watching a football game in a bar. Again it was nothing extravagant and it did not get late this time either, it was just very nice. As it did not get late it felt very ok to get up early Sunday for another round of golf, or two actually. So, really nothing fancy only very normal and very nice, spending the weekend with friends and enjoing a hobby. I feel that is what life should be like. Not sitting in this god forgotten place and rot!

A New Life?

Well, now I have decided to try something new. Not only did I join a book club, but connected to that I have decided to try a diet. Well maybe not really a diet, but I actually bought a book with a month’s GI-menus and today was the day I wanted to start cooking from the recipes. Not that I really believe in any of these diet-things and I actually don’t think I need to lose weight either. The thing is just that I am so fed up with trying to come up with things to cook and I am so tired of always eating the same dishes and tired of pasta and salads, so any book telling me what to eat would be fine. At least a substitute until I can have a service like “Middagsfrid”. And this food actually seems rather healthy and “normal”. I am sure I will not follow it very meticulously, if I feel like eating something else, I surely will. This is for all those days when I don’t know what to eat and therefore risk ending up not eating at all or munching a bag of crisps.

To start I had to go and buy some stuff, some of it things I never bought before, a lot of nuts and seeds and such stuff. It is amazing how expensive it is to eat this healthy! But on the other hand I now bought things for quite a few days. Who knows, maybe this more planned shopping after a list will actually cost less in the long run. I somehow feel I have collected quite a few adult-points today!! I even made my own homemade müsli!! (in some vain hope it would be as good as the fabulously delicious müsli they served at the Safari Lodge Hotel in Victoria Falls)

Sleepy

I don't know if I have got some mysterious disease or if I just have found myself a new hobby; sleeping.

Lately I seem to be constantly tired. It all started before my holiday and then I just assumed I needed the break, but the thing is it did not get any better after the holiday. Every morning it is a fight to get out of bed, I am just so tired. It does not get much better during the day. As soon as I get home I just want to lay down on the sofa or go to bed. And still I go to bed much earlier in the evening than I normally do, but it does not seem to help. I try to eat healty and I do excercise, but still I just feel tired and want to sleep all the time. I really look forward to go go bed. Very strange!! And it is still only September, were will this end??

Local Drugs

Maybe I would have understood The Small Town if I would have read the local paper more often, but I really don’t think so. Today I actually went trough it at lunch in the canteen at work and got absolutely amazed and flabbergasted over an article. It was about the spread of “spray-abuse” among the pupils of a school in another small town in the area (might actually be even smaller!). I just did not understand it at all. What the f..k is spray-abuse?? What kind of spray? And how do they abuse it? Even though I read both articles on it I did not really get it, but obviously the kids bought the spray in the supermarkets and it seems they were sniffing it. From the slang word the kids use for doing this “glading” I assumed it might be these room refreshing sprays (from the brand Glade).

I found it absolutely hilarious. I am not sure my colleagues around the tab quite appreciated what was so fun about it. But come on; the paper treated it as a very serious problem, and maybe it is. But I have never heard about it from anywhere else, so just imagine the lever of boredom, frustration and imagination too for that matter, for those kids in this little God forgotten place to go and buy room scent and sniffing them high on that. My God, they can not have any sense of smell left after that!! Welcome to country side Sweden!!

Leaving Värmland!!

Ha ha, I just heard the most hilarious piece of news!!

I just happened to listen to the local news on TV and heard that five municipalities from the region where I live now, Värmland, have decided to apply to be transferred to the neighbouring administrative region, Västra Götaland, (where I originally come from). It is absolutely hilarious, not even the towns can stand it here!!

I totally understand them; this region is so backwards in comparison! Of course The Small Town is not one of the deserting municipalities, although it is also direct on the border to Västra Götaland. Only another sign that this place is even more backward?!

Visitor's Weekend

This weekend I had my fist visitors to the Small Town, the first from people who are not relatives of mine or had any other reason to be here. That’s BIG! We even went out to one of the local restaurants/bars/night clubs. A very interesting experience both for my friends and for me! One of my friends also grew up in a small place and is hence used to small towns, but he completely agreed with me that The Small Town seems to be particular backward. Finally some confirmation!!

They came here to play golf together with me at the club here and that was great! Really good fun! That means that I did my first 18-holes rounds this weekend, one yesterday and one today. Ok, I can not say I scored so many points, to be honest today I played really bad. But still, on the whole of it, it was great fun and I got inspired to practise more. I realise though that two 18-holes rounds make you really tired and I feel rather sore all over my body right now. Would love some spa treatment!! Jacuzzi and a massage!!! Lovely!!

Olympics from a different Angle

Well, then the Olympic Games in Beijing is over. It is obviously the least successful Swedish game since Saint Louis 1904, where we did not even participate… Still I feel a little bit proud myself, as I guessed we would get five medals and five we got! I was during a discussion with some friends from various nations, the day after the opening, when we were discussing how many medals our respective countries would take. My friends were rather surprised and disbelieving when I answered only five, but I insisted. So, I guess I was right! (Seppi and Wouti, I hope you remember and can confirm! :-) )

Maybe most other Swedes believed Sweden would get more, only because they follow the sports in the media, which I don’t. Somehow Swedish sports journalists always praise the athletes overwhelmingly in advance. It is, however, very interesting to see the reporting from the Olympics in different media and maybe most of all so in different countries’ media. The previous Olympics I was in Shanghai and hence was watching the reporting in Chinese TV. The Chinese state television CCTV only showed the sports where China had big chances of getting a medal, which of course were quite a few, but apparently almost exclusively the sports were no Swedes have a chance. So even though the Olympics in Athens were one of the best ever for Sweden I did not see one single Swedish medal being won. At the same time there was already then a big focus on this Olympics and the Chinese aim of making it a huge national success. Now, watching these games on Swedish TV I almost had the impression China did not get so many medals and that these games were not the great success the Chinese planned for. Not until I saw the statistics over won medals. Of course they were fabulously on top of the league. It is only a matter of focus. Swedish TV probably spent more time reporting from quarter- and semi-finals, were some Swede MIGHT have a chance to advance, than reporting about another Chinese gold in diving, gymnastics or synchronised swimming. Well, it is indeed all a matter of point of view.

Autumn and Champagne?!

It is amazing how fast the summer ended! Ok, I am normally the one who strongly stress that at least August is also a summer-month, but this year the weather changed so quickly that it almost already feels like autumn. Very depressing!!

I had a lovely holiday but it did not take long back at work for me to realise how very much I hate the place I have to live in. It is really bad! I have lived in many places and felt quite well everywhere, but here it just does not work! I have never hated a place this much. Or I don’t think I ever hated a place at all before. Unfortunately that makes it also harder to like my job although that is actually quite good.

So this autumn will basically be about getting out of here. First of all that of course means finding another job and another place to live. All suggestions and tips are welcome! But I also have another plan, to make things a little easier to deal with. I have decided that for every month, starting from now in August, that I have to live here, I will buy a bottle of champagne that I then will drink when celebrating my move from here. That is a true win-win-deal! If I move earlier I don’t get much champagne but I do get out of here sooner. If I have to stay longer than I would like to; I get more champagne! Good eh?

Useful Clichés?

A lesbian friend of mine is having some problems with her relation. That made me wonder what arguments homosexuals use when their relations do not work. I mean; they can hardly use the same old clichés to complain about “men” or “women” in general. I think every heterosexual man or woman who had problems with their relations have at some time complained about “typical male or typical female” behaviour and the problems these cause. The gays can hardly do that. Maybe that makes them see more to the individual and the unique problems of every relation?! I believe that should be a good ground for a relation. But on the other hand it gives you no cliché argument to hide behind, which might make the truth cruelly apparent.

Olympic Games

This far I have not followed the Olympic games very much at all. I did not even see the opening (as I then was lying on the beach on Mallorca at that time). However today they showed a short sequence from the opening on the news. It showed a little girl in a red dress and pigtails singing a song with a high and clear voice. But the news was that it was not the girl shown that was singing, she was just miming to another voice. The singer was another seven years old girl, who was considered too ugly to be represented on the opening.

At first I was upset to hear that and the news was presented with indignation. That a little girl is told she is too ugly to be shown. But after a while I started to rethink. Maybe it is just another sign of the same preset mind, that of the importance of beauty. And it might also be a sign of Swedish urge for equality; no one is better or worse than anyone else, especially not children.

Of course in an ideal world it should not matter what anyone looks like if the person has a unique talent, but on the other hand is it not more important and matters more to have a talent than just a pretty face? And is it so strange that you want to show a pretty façade when the whole world is looking? Can we not just see this as a combination of two talents? The one who can sing does the singing and the one who is cute gets in the picture. As long as the singer also gets the credit, and in this case the organiser admitted it, at least afterwards it is not so bad or…? And after all I believe that how you look or how you sing at the age of seven does not really say much about what you will look like or sound like as an adult, so why not just let the poor kids be what they are..

Back in office

It is amazing but it only took one single day back in the office to make me feel as if I had no holiday at all! After only one day I already feel tired, frustrated and irritated. Not good!! Of course it could also partly be because I did not get much sleep last night. Because of a delayed flight, that was already late, a missed airport bus and other things I barely got three hours of sleep. Therefore I was considering take the day off. In the end I did not, I just came a little late and wanted to make a soft start by leaving early. That did not work out at all! There was hardly anyone in the office but a very big and urgent caseload, so no soft start there!!

However, I will really try not to get back into the very negatively stressed feeling I have been having for quite some time at work. I will try to hang on to the good and creative feeling that at least was starting to build up the last days of my holiday, although I think I would honestly have needed at least one more week off to really get there. I will try to focus on what I like to do at work and what I am really good at (except spending money!) and what can me further and were I can achieve results. I will also try not to work very late everyday; there are other things to do too. First I will try to get some time to download the photos from this holiday, here or at picasa or facebook, so others can see them too, maybe I will also try to write something about my holiday and my travels here on the blog… and on my other blog, but that will have to be another day, now I really have to sleep to catch up for last night. Good night!

Back in office

It is amazing but it only took one single day back in the office to make me feel as if I had no holiday at all! After only one day I already feel tired, frustrated and irritated. Not good!! Of course it could also partly be because I did not get much sleep last night. Because of a delayed flight, that was already late, a missed airport bus and other things I barely got three hours of sleep. Therefore I was considering take the day off. In the end I did not, I just came a little late and wanted to make a soft start by leaving early. That did not work out at all! There was hardly anyone in the office but a very big and urgent caseload, so no soft start there!!

However, I will really try not to get back into the very negatively stressed feeling I have been having for quite some time at work. I will try to hang on to the good and creative feeling that at least was starting to build up the last days of my holiday, although I think I would honestly have needed at least one more week off to really get there. I will try to focus on what I like to do at work and what I am really good at (except spending money!) and what can me further and were I can achieve results. I will also try not to work very late everyday; there are other things to do too. First I will try to get some time to download the photos from this holiday, here or at picasa or facebook, so others can see them too, maybe I will also try to write something about my holiday and my travels here on the blog… but that will have to be another day, now I really have to sleep to catch up for last night. Good night!

Blogging holiday

I had actually planned to do some serious blogging on my holiday. As I hadn't made much plans I thought I would have lot of time to think great thoughts to share with you on my blog. But the weather has simply been too nice, there has been a lot of sunbathing, swimming and spending time outdoors, so now blogging at all. And very little of great thoughts!

This first part of the holiday has been the more family oriented part and I am now moving into the more party and friends oriented part. Feels good!! Will see if that part will produce more blogging material... although maybe not so much great thoughts either...

Holiday planning excercise

I don’t really know what to say about it, but I noticed that I have to make to-do-lists also for my holiday. It is a bit weird and I would prefer just to take it very easy and relax and do nothing, but it just doesn’t work. There are just too many things that I have planned or promised to do. Most of them nice though, but still; it takes some planning and organisation. Like helping to look after my sister’s horse during her holiday, turning out to look after the whole stable.

At least I have started to get out of the coma I felt I was in the last two weeks in the office before my leave. Now I feel I have more energy and get things done and maybe doing things, but other things, nice things is my way of relaxing. Today I went horseback riding, helped my mother preparing for her birthday, made four cakes, went jogging and played some golf. And I actually spent a couple of hours on the beach, so I relaxed too. Unfortunately I now have a very sore back, I don’t know if it is the golf, the horseback riding or the combination, but it is not very good.

Holiday at last!!

Finally finally holiday!!!

I beleive I have never longed this much for holiday! Unfortunately my colleagues reminded me of that I will be back in office on Monday 11 and not 18 as I first wrote in my out of office reply, which makes me feel as if though I have lost a week, but never mind; it will be sooo nice.

I am starting out with a weekend with party and social activities in Malmö and Copenhagen. Nice!!! Right now on the train. Can't even be bothered that we have over one hours delay. Just a bit annoyed that I had to bring my computer because my usual time optimism that made me think I would finish more that I did before I left the office, but never mind that either. At least that gives me the opportunity to write this.. :-)

A real Golfer?!

Ha! Today I managed to get my green card!!

No, not for working and living in the States, that would not interest me. But for playing golf!!

Ok, I believe my teacher was quite benevolent and kind to me, but it still proves that I can do good things if I put my mind to it. And that even on a day when I was not feeling well!! Now I will just have to practise and play a bit more so I get official handicap. But this really spurs my competitive mind much more than I ever thougth it would. Amazing!!

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust..

Today I wanted to give one of my potted plants a bigger pot and some new soil but at the supermarket they were out of pot-plant-soil. On the way to the supermarket I took a walk over the cemetary next to where I live and in the woods outside the cemetary I saw that they had a big pile of black soil, among some other stuff for gardening. As I actually really dislike planting and such things, but now had set my mind on doing it I would not let myself be stopped by the supermarket running out of stock, so I just walked back the same way and filled the new pot with some of the soil from the heap in the woods.

I know this is perfecly normal soil, but on the way back I could not help thinking about that it comes from the cemetary and could theoretically contain "remains" of humans (as I suppose any soil could!) and in this case Small Town People. The thought was rather scary and I started imagining up the scenario for a scary movie about plants coming to live and attacking... (any one remembers the Triffids??)

Good thing I did not use the soil for the plants I keep indoors, but only for the one at the balcony...

The Unvolontary Golfer

It is strange, but maybe I am actually on my way to turn into a golfer. Not that I know how to play or not even that I have managed to get my green card yet, but I think it got me. I have always thought it is a bit of a nerd sport and never have been able to understand how you can spent hour after hour trying to hit a ball with a stick, but strangely I have spent quite some time at the course the last couple of days and want to go there as soon as I can again. Now this is a matter of little choice; if I want to have that green card and not having wasted the money I will have to practise and as I haven’t done any of that this far I have to really get started now.

I have in my personality a rather tiresome combination of both being very impatient and very stubborn and I always thought that maybe my impatience would be an obstacle to learning golf, but it seems that golfing brings out more of the stubbornness than the impatience. I really want to see that little ball fly the way I want it to and just will not accept that it should be so very difficult. And then we you hit a nice shot you get so excited and like the feeling so much you just have to make another try, you feel sure the next one is also going to get good. Of course it is not, then you have to give it another go again,….. and there you go! Another hour just passed!

Getting too Old

I have to admit I believe I am getting old and conservative. I don’t want to have to learn how to use new technical gadgets!!

A while ago I bought a new mobile phone. I don’t know really why, because my old one is still working, but it has been showing some signs of tear and wear and at times was not really reliable so I guess that is why. But still, the new phone has been lying in its box, unopened for months. I just could not be bothered to take it into use as I knew all the settings and information in my old mobile would not be automatically transferred. However, this weekend I stayed at home to get things done that I have postponed for a long time and then I thought I’d just better take care of the phone thing too. Sooner or later my old mobile will die and then saving the information might be too late. So this morning I got started. Only to give up after a short while and put the sim-card back into my old mobile again. I could not copy all the contacts on the sim-card as it was full, and I could not get the ring-tone I wanted and all my listings in the calendar and photos and sms and other information of cause would not be transferred, so I basically gave up.

One thing, that of cause would have helped, would have been to synchronise it via the computer. Only, yesterday I noticed that the cd-drive of my laptop is not working, so I could not install the software for the mobile, as well as I could not install the software for the new digital camera I bought in Dubai. Ahhh!! I hope this does not mean I will have to buy a new laptop too!

I don’t want to have new technical gadgets!! I liked my old camera and would have liked to have it repaired instead of buying a new one, and I like my laptop and my old mobile, but often it costs more to have things like that repaired than buying new. I don’t like it! I know this is a definite sign of me getting old, but still; I don’t like it.

Small Town Summer Joke

The last couple of weeks our expat life in The Small Town has really intensified. There has been some activity every evening, there has been beach-volleyball, horseback riding, kayaking, go-carting, bbq:s, cocktails-and-Sex-and-the-City-movie-night etc etc. ( I passed on that one. I do like the series and will see the film at some point, but it felt very wrong to see the film in The Small Town, it being sooo far from everything in the movie!) It is nice of course, but it is still a bit absurd. Especially as there are no other people out except us..

The Small Town tries to market itself as a summer town and in a way it is, thanks to the lake and the beaches etc. But on the other hand it has not really understood what it takes to be an attractive summer town. A couple of days ago a colleague and I wanted to go down to one of the places where we can hangout and wanted to have a bite and a beer. Just to find out that the kitchen is closed whole July!! “Welcome back in August!”

How can they just close the kitchen!! And this place is also a hotel!! What can they offer their hotel guest?! Micro heated pre-fab quiche and lasagne... Disgrace!!

Good News!!

Can't help it but I got absolutely excited, thrilled and exuberant when they finally revealed the new organisation of my office. They are concentrating the activities and moving some units and departments and they are completely giving up the office in The Small Town!!!! That is so good!!!

All the politicians in The Small Town will be very upset and complain, but I am so happy and I think they don't deserve to have us there.

I have no idea where my unit will be or even if I will still be in the new organisation, but still things feel so much better. Now I know what to focus on and I know that on no account will I be living in The Small Town longer than to the end of this year!!

Obviously Alien

As far as I know it is not written all over my forehead that I am not from The Small Town, but it seems to be very obvious that I am not from here. Even when I go out in The Next Somewhat Bigger Town and meet someone I often get to hear as an opening phrase "you are not from here, are you?". Ok, I don't speak the dialect, but often I don't even have to say that much that people can tell, so I don't really know what it is.

What happened yesterday might not be so strange though, but it was still an interesting experience. Yesterday I managed to leave the office early enough to get down town before the shops close (i.e.18:00) and went to the watchmaker to have the battery changed in my clock. I also brought some wintercoats to bring to the dry cleaners. As I did not know where to find a laundry I asked at the watchmaker's. There were quite a few people there and they all looked at me and then one of the man said "Isn't he ill!?" and everyone looked at me as if I had asked when the next space-shuttle back to outer space leaves. Then they realised that it might not be common knowledge wether the laundry-person is ill or not and laughingly said "well this is a small town". Then they started to go on where it used to be "down by the traffic lights" and I started to wonder "what lights?" and "are there not more then one traffic light?". Then someone said "but isn't there one in XX-street?!" "No, he is dead" said another.

The conclusion was that there is no laundry in The Small Town. As one of the ladies said before I left; "well, as you see; we don't dry clean our clothes very often".

Then I felt it was about time to get out of the shop, I feelt like an alien again.

Missing Midsummer again

I am soon off to Afghanistan again. We will be leaving on Saturday (if all goes according to plan!) and be away for approx 10 days.

I am not too happy about it this time as it means I will be away over Midsummer. It will be the second year in a row that I don't get to celebrate Midsummer and that is sad as I find Midsummer being the best holiday of the year. We do have an invitation to join the embassy staff in Kabul for their celebration, but I am not sure we will be able to do that either. This was very badly planned!

Dead for The Small Town

I hate the Small Town!! And I hate and despise the people of The Small Town and I am not ashamed to say so!

Tonight was the fist game for Sweden in the European football championships and all of Sweden was quite excited. Therefore I and some of my colleagues decided to go out and watch the game in one of the two bars here that we knew would show the game. We thought this would be a nice thing, to do something social and to share something and some of us do not even have a TV. And as all of us come from other places in Sweden we thought this was quite a normal thing to do. In Stockholm I guess all the bars that have a TV were completely crowded. A couple of weeks ago I was in Stockholm when Chelsea and Manchester were playing the champions league, even then all the bars with a TV were full.

Guess what the scene was like in The fucking Small Town! There were ten persons in the bar! Me, my seven colleagues and two foreign hotel guests. Not one single local person!!! I am not saying that everyone have to go out and watch football in bars and drink beer. But not one single person!!! On the way home I passed the other bar and believe me; there were not more people. This town is so dead, dead, dead it only deserves to die properly!!

There is nothing more dead than this place on a Sunday; you will not even find a place to get a cup of coffee. But I thought football would if anything get them going, even if it is a Tuesday, but those boring small town people probably all sit at home in front of their flat sceen TV:s eating chips and getting fatter by the hour. Don’t blame us for not integrating and not trying to do our best. We are out there! We frequent those few public places available, although the food is terrible, the beer flat and expensive and the service non-existent, but there is no way we will meet the locals, even if we wanted to. As long as they do not invite us to share their couch potato life, we will continue to live separate lives. And I will be happy to do that!! I think I will already now start buying the champagne, so I will be sure to have enough to celebrate my move from this place.

Summer Blasphemy

I will now make my self guilty of committing blasphemy. I will say that I do not like the Swedish summer!

This is absolutely not accepted to say! All Swedes are supposed to love the Swedish summer as if it were religion. And I do love the Swedish summer! Maybe the problem is that I actually love it too much. I do love the long light summer nights, when it never gets dark. I like the sun and the warmth; I like spending time outdoor and love the more relaxed attitudes of the Swedes in summer. How could I but love all those things as I hate the darkness and the cold of the long boring winters?!

Maybe that is exactly the problem. I love it so much because I know what I have to deal with the rest of the year. What makes it a problem is that it is so precious and so short. The Swedish summer is, even when it is good, rather short, and too often it is not very good at all. Last year it was all rain and cold. So far this year it has been very warm and sunny and nice for weeks, but then immediately one fear that “this was it” this was all the summer we got, and I was working!! The shortness and unpredictability of the Swedish summer make it completely stressful. Every day that is sunny and warm that one do not use, which you don’t spend outside doing nice things is a lost day. And all those light summer nights make me stressed. They are so nice; I would like to stay awake and outside all night, but you just can not, you still have to get some sleep. It all just makes me stressed.

If one only could be sure that every summer had a certain number of nice days it would be easier to relax; now one has to live as if every nice day was the last one. Very stressful!! As I have always said; I find the change of seasons highly overestimated. I believe a climate like the Thai climate would suit me just fine. It is 30 degrees all year round, sometimes a little more rain and sometimes little less. And the sun rises at six every morning and sets at six in the evening. I think that would be perfect for me. Maybe it is just because my mood and my temperament is so volatile in itself that I don’t need any extra rupture caused by the climate…

Sneak reading my e-mail

I am kind of upset about the way that the different internet platforms sneak read my e-mails etc. I am referring to the directed marketing on the sites. I find it kind of ok that the ad here on the blog somehow reflect what I write about in the posts, it is kind of part of the deal. But what makes me upset is when the content of my e-mails obviously is scanned to direct advertisement to me on gmail. Just take a few examples: while planning the wedding of a friend and through e-mails discussing what gift to buy to the couple, I noticed that the ads all of a sudden where about wedding presents. Today I received an e-mail about a available apartment from a landlord where I have registered on a waiting list. Then I noticed ads about apartments, moving and furniture etc. As gmail and blogger are connected I even think they “cross read” their clients’ information. I suspect this because there also was an ad about rental apartments in Rome on my gmail account. I don’t really approve of this!! Although I feel quite sure this is done automatically, it feels like an infringement on my privacy.

My Poor Car

Having been away for a couple of days and having left the car at the same parking lot at the railway station as last time I was a bit worried someone would have done something to it again. But this time it was ok.
I managed to find someone who could help me get the paint off without having to repaint the whole door, so now my car looks fine again. But I don't want to have to do this every time I have been away now I don't trust this place at all anymore.

By the way, this week my car had the annually inspection, which she passed without any remarks. So she is now in excellent shape again.

Poor News Value

It is amazing what makes it to the news. And sometimes I can not help wondering who the hell is interested. I can understand that the US primaries are important in a way, but it has just been going on for ages. And it is not even the real election!! Who can be bothered to take an interest in it?! It has been on the news in Sweden for I don't know how long. Now hopefully it will soon come to an end, but then I suppose the race for the real election soon starts. I am glad I am not American and don't have to pay attention to it. If I was American I would most probably not have been bothered enough to vote. But then on the other hand one might get stuck with a president as Bush...

One other thing that is amazing about the Swedish news are the absolutely unimportant and irrelevant things that make it to the news. It becomes all the more apparant when you have been out of the country for a while. (not that the Italian tv-news are that much better, but still they have more channels and hence more of a choice). The first thing I saw when arriving at the airport was the headlines of the two tabloids. Ok they are tabloids and as such maybe not worse than others, but once they actually wrote about things that happen in the real world. Now they only seem to write about things that happen on TV. After not having had any Swedish news at all for over a week I was a little curious to know what had happende. But the one had a big fat headline about "what happened after" to some participants of a TV-program. The other wrote about a commedian and TV-celebrity who apparently had to "flee" the fans at some party after the Eurovision Song Contest. Such a pseudo world!!

Today on the TV-news there was a report on a communal landlord who wanted to close down some of the laundry rooms in some of their buildings (back again to one of my favourite topics!) against a small decrease in the rent. There was an interview with one of the tenants who was explaining what a disaster this was for her as a mother of two children, now she would have to walk out of her house and in to another building in the same area. That was just impossible. Ok, I can understand that it is a problem for her. But who the hell thougth this had any kind of news value for the rest of the nation!!!

Four Years again

I wonder if I am ever to really grow up!
Now I have a knee like a four years old again. I believe women my age should are not supposed to have wounds and scares all over their legs as I have. It makes it difficult to look very elegant and ladylike in a skirt! Normally I just complain about the scares and see them as a reminder of the past, but I do still scrub my knees every now and then too. Today I fell off my mountain bike when the pedal hit a stone and back I came all dirty, bruised and bleeding. It is not as bad as when I had been playing rugby though. And it was good fun to be biking through the woods.

I guess some of my eating habits also do not qualify for many adult points. When I got back from having been jogging for 6 km and biking for maybe 10 km, I ate a bag och chips and drank a beer. Maybe I should try to market that as my special fitness diet...

Welcome to The Small Town

Just had a fabulous week in Italy, but I will tell more about that later, and was not too happy about having to go back to The Small Town. I even jumped off the train in panic just two minutes before it should leave Sthlm on my way back, to stay on an extra hour and take a later train.
When I got off the train in TST I was at first happy and relieved to see that my car was still there and with no ticket, although it had been standing ten days on a seven days parking lot. When I came to the driver's side that changed however. Then I saw that some bastard had sprayed silver paint on the door. Damn bastards!! I got so pissed off!



This is what poor Smulan looked like when I came back from my holiday.

I can understand if kids growing up here get bored and frustraded and need to get it out somehow, but not on me or my belongings!! Of cause I know these things happens in other places too, but it would have been at least one argument in favour of small tonws if these kind of things did not happen here.

By the way; while in Rome I learned that even the city of Rome is planning to remove all parking fees!! Think about that you greedy Small Town politicians!!!

Better Neighbours

One thing that improved since I moved to the new apartment is the neighbours. I did no dare to hope it would, even though it was really bad where I used to live and I thought it could not get much worse, but who knows… One of my colleagues live in the same house and same entrance where I live now and she said it was ok, but I was not really sure if I dared to trust here. But it is indeed much better. I got away from my pig-neighbour downstairs and his loud disgusting friends and I got away from the party crowd upstairs as well as the snotty, screaming and rude kids next door. Here I feel I can actually use my balcony!

Another good thing in the new house is that I have more immigrant neighbours here. I must say I do prefer to have immigrant neighbours, to have the Swedish riff raff small town people neighbours that are ubiquitous here. Today I met a very nice Muslim woman in the laundry room, who let me use one hour of her laundry time. Her Swedish was not perfect but she seemed happy to use it and she did very well. Above anything I prefer to live together with immigrants to living together with the Swedes who don’t like to live next to immigrants. I actually beleive that one of the main problems with The Small Town is that here are too few immigrants!

The Small Town people here are rude and socially unfit. They don’t say hello when you meet them, they just look the other way and pretend it is raining. And some say that is Big City behaviour!! Bullshit!! Just to take one example: Yesterday my parents visited me. On the way out of the apartment they walked ahead of me as I forgot something and had to go back. From the stair I heard they met someone at the door and that this person seemed polite and friendly and held the door for them. Immediately I knew it could not be one of the original small town people from this area and I actually guessed it was my upstairs colleague. And indeed. It was her!

Loosing My Temper?

I don’t think it is a secret that I have quite a hot temper and can get angry rather easily. But lately I have started to wonder whether I am starting loosing it, I mean staying cool and calm. For example today. It was a shitty day from the start. I had decided to stay in The Small Town this weekend but started to regret it already Thursday evening and it did not get any better. Saturday morning it was raining and very cold when I woke up. Anyway; I decided to try to do the best of the day and decided to go to IKEA to buy some stuff and organise my apartment. On my way to the next IKEA it started snowing. Ok, getting better… Of course the store was completely crowded and the stuff I was looking for was either not in store or did not look like I expected, so I was nearly walking out of the store empty handed, after two hours pushing around among families and couples with full carts. To avoid that I picked up some small things, among them a lamp that I had wanted to buy last time I was there, but then they did not have it, it basically is a big glass bowl, it is quite nice.
Walking out of the store I was pushing a cart and on that was the big IKEA paper bag with the lamp and some candles. Just outside the door, entering the rainy, windy, shitty weather; a strong wind came and swept the paper bag off the cart. With a crash it landed on the asphalt and the lamp was all in pieces, just out side the f…ing doors. This is a situation that normally would have made me very angry and upset, especially as I was both tired and hungry. But now I just picked the pieces up and threw them in the dust bin next to the door and walked to the car, with my vanilla scented candles (can not understand how come I bought them, I don’t like either perfumed candles or artificial vanilla scent!!). I could not really be bothered. I was really surprised at my own calmness!

Last Sunday I had another situation like this one, actually much worse, where I quite unexpectedly did not freak out. Everyone I told about it say they would have, even my mother!
It was when I came back from Stockholm late last Sunday evening. I was quite tired and only wanted to go to bed. Stepping into the kitchen I noticed I was stepping in water. It turned out the kitchen pipes seemed to have back fired and flushed sewer water over the whole kitchen. Thankfully it did not smell too bad, but there were small pieces of food all over and everything that had come in contact with the water was all greasy. I can tell you I was NOT happy, but I did not freak out. I just started to clean it all up. However I can assure you, that when I two hours later, thought I was finished and just wanted to put something in the top drawer, but then discovered that it, and all the other drawers also were full of water, then I was really close to freak out or at least on the verge of tears. Not that crying or freaking out would have helped in such a situation, but that never stopped me before. Now I just started the cleaning all over again. I did not even swear very much.

I don’t know how to interpret this, maybe I am getting wiser and more controlled. Or maybe I am just tired and getting used to shitty things happening.

Small Things Can Make All the Difference

It is funny how small things sometimes can make all the difference. The last couple of days the sun has been shining and it has been warm and you can feel summer is arriving, and all of a sudden life feels quite ok. Even in the small town! It is almost beautiful and the bicycle ride to the office is enjoyable.

Although I still feel it would have been even better to enjoy it in a city. The weekend in Copenhagen was really a hit! In every way! And also an example of that small things can make all the difference…

Growing up? Or becoming a nerd?

Yesterday I bought my own golf set. That was indeed with mixed emotions. I really think it is good fun learning to play golf and to be able to do that I need the equipment to practise and the set seemed very reasonably priced. What made me feel stupid and hesitant was the golf cart they made me buy with it. Ok I realise that the whole set, with bag and all and maybe an extra sweater, a bottle of water or what ever one might need to bring for 18 holes, will get very heavy to carry around, but still I would have preferred to have a bag to carry as I think the carts look corny and nerdy and only something for old men and ladies. I am still fighting conflicting feelings about golfing. At the same time that I feel it is a bit nerdy, I really think I will like it. That is hard!
But maybe golfing at least will make me earn some adult points….(if nothing else..)

For ever young?

I guess I am really not behaving my age. Not that this is anything new, but sometimes it gets more apparent. This weekend is one example. I had a great time in Copenhagen, partying really hard, hardly sleeping at all and spending far too much money. I guess that was not very mature and I for sure did not collect very many adult points, but it was great and I laughed a lot…and would love to go there again, soon.:-)

Today I got another proof. I decided to buy some curtains for my bedroom. Curtains are really not one of my priorities and I haven’t had any for quite some time. Honestly I can not even remember when I last bought curtains, if I ever have. But the window in my new bedroom is just opposite the next house and I don’t want to have the venetian blinds down all the time, and as there were already the fittings to hang curtains, I decided it was a good idea.

Then I realised that I have no idea how to arrange curtains and what one needs. I went to a shop here where I knew I would find someone who could help me. This someone turned out to be a guy in his early 20.s. I felt almost pathetic and so chaotic. The guy must have laughed at me and I wonder what he thought about me.

Although I bought them ready made and all the right equipment I had severe problem to get them up. Once finished I was almost disappointed. I got it all right though, and the curtains are quite alright, but I think I might just not like curtains…

My Normal Life

I think I have figured out what is my normal life; moving!!

I am moving again and while doing that it struck me that since 1999 I haven't lived longer than one year in one single place!! Often moved more than once a year. (And even before 1999 I had movet quite a few times). It is completely sick! I don't know what's wrong with me!! No wonder I am sick and tired of moving!!

And this statistics doesn't include the shorter periods (like a couple of months) that I have been working abroad, nor the periods that I basically did not live anywhere but stayed at friend's places. Maybe it is time to get my act (and my things) togehter?!

Summer Holiday Stress

Now I am approaching a problem that always comes up on me at this time of the year, and always because I don't have any long term planning of my life. That seems to be something I am just not able to do! The time has come to make the decisions on when to have summer holiday. My boss asked us to report before April 30. How the hell should I be able to know now when I want to have summer holiday?!? I have no idea what I will be doing this summer. How could I?!?! It is still months... I don't know what I do three weeks from now!!

What this will lead to in the end is that I hardly get any summer holiday at all as I get to choose from the days that are still available when all the others have made their choice. Not that it matters too much as I find it ok to work in the summer and then leave the country when it gets cold, dark and really shitty. But on the other hand, that was when I was living in places where I had friends outside work, with whom I could hang out on those light, warm summer nights in the city. Here might be a completely different thing...:-(

So; if there is anyone who still haven't made any plans for summer holiday and has suggestions that could include me, feel free to let me know! Or maybe even better; anyone up for a longer trip, far away in autumn or winter?? Then I can skip summer..;-)

Small Town Aliens

Since I stated taking golf lessons I have actually spoken to several REAL Small Town-people. I mean, people who actually come from here. Not that I would say I have made new friends her, but at least chatted to. This has made me even more aware of how distanced we are from the town. When people ask me where I live, of course I can answer, but I realise the town has districts and areas with names that none of us know about. When we talk about the place we describe it or have some explanations that make sense to us, but probably not to the locals. It is weird!!

Good day at work!

Some days I like my job more than other days. Today was such a day. In a different way. Got to spend most of the day outside in the sunny beautiful spring weather. Did some GPS-navigation and got to drive 4W Land Cruiser (and eat rations for lunch..). Was fun! I think I was the only one who managed to get the vehicle over the ditch without scratching the underside!!
On the other hand this day means I will have to spend some hours working tonight, but it was worth it!

A Good Try?!

Ha ha, today The Small Town was mentioned in the tv-news. In a positive matter. Today The Small Town had the second highest temperature in the country!!

Well, it might not be much, but don't say I don't try to find something positive about the place...

Oh, there is another good thing with living in a small town. I can cycle to the golf course from the office in less than 20 minutes!! Although the golf course of cause is a bit outside the town and even on exaclty the opposite side from my office!!

On the other side, it did not really help that the weather was nice today! After work I had an errand on town, after that I would have liked to do something, but there is absoulutely nothing to do. All the shops close at six, and after that there is absolutely NOTHING open, not even a café, and there are no people around. Still haven't figures out what people do here...

New Hobby?

Sometimes things happen fast. As today!

For quite some time I have been thinking about starting to play golf, but never got it going. Today I just called the local golf club as I beleive it is cheaper to start playing in The Small Town than in The City. I had checked their homepage first but it was not updated. When calling them the man said their course had just started.
- oh, that's a pity!
- how soon would you like to start?
- eh.., well..., as soon as possible I guess...
- what about today? Today is the first exercise(theory) on the course.
- eh..., well..., I guess today is as soon as possible, so... why not!!

I beleive that was a sign! So, today I had my first golf lesson!!
Cool!!

I've Found a Friend!!

I have found a friend!! In The Small Town!! And it is not a colleague!! And it is not in any way related to the previous posting!

Ok, it might not be as sensational as it sounds, as it is actually someone I know from before, but it is nevertheless very funny! I met with someone I worked with in Bangkok and who life brought here as well. Destiny certainly moves in mysterious ways!

The funny thing is that obviously we have been working out at the same gym the whole autumn and winter without recognising each other! Well, she thought I looked familiar and thought I might be me, but she just could not figure out what I would do in The Small Town. Not until a week ago, when I met with a friend I know from Bangkok and with whom I keep frequent contact, and she brought me to another of our colleagues from Bangkok who in turn knew that this first person also lives in The Small Town. With this piece of information we easily recognised each other when we met in the gym today! So funny!

Small Town Misery

I knew I should not have written that I had a nice weekend staying in The Small Town. It all hit back today.

Because of different reasons I will have to move the first of May. That is not so bad, as I never liked my apartment anyway, but still I have to find another one. Today I looked at two apartments. The first one was just depressing. It was small and dark and the house was rather run down and very close to the railway. The second one looked much better. It was bigger and lighter and completely newly renovated. But there was a reason for that. The landlord told me they had had some problems with the tenants in the house, but that they had now gotten rid of “most” of them and was ready to start anew with better tenants and therefore renovated the house all over. She also told me they would go over all the doors and fix them as well. All the doors had obvious marks from someone trying to break in! What worried me was the “most” of the bad tenants. How many are left? And how long will it take for all the junkie friends to understand their mates are not living in the house anymore?? No, that was not too inspiring!

On my way from the house I noticed a “Open” sign hanging from the other side of the house. So I understood that there had to be some kind of business in the basement. I had a little closer look to see what it was, maybe a hairdresser or something like that, but it looked very anonymous?! When I saw the sign on the window I read “Sex och Spex”. So, it seems to be a sex shop in the basement!! Great!!

Nice Weekend

I actually had a really nice weekend in The Small Town!! I am surprised!

But then again, thinking of it; I really did not spend that much time in The Small Town. Friday I went out for after work in The Next Somewhat Bigger Town, and stayed over night there. It was a very weird, but funny evening by the way...
On Saturday I went with the same and another friend to another somewath bigger town, nearby. But as that town is east of The Small Town we just passed here to leave my car here. The purpose of this trip was to visit a big golf store. I believe it was a step in the process of getting me to start playing golf...
Ok, Saturday evening I spent at home, but being quite tired from the evening before I just watched a film and then went to bed. Today I went back to The Next Somewhat Bigger Town to go to the cinema. A nice weekend.

April's Fool

Hmmm, did not get to fool anyone today, nor was I fooled or even heard a joke... Disappionting! I like to play some jokes on people. It simply was a too serious a day, meetings with people I don't know too well and then just not the right moment. Unfortunately, as this is a tradition I like...

Car worries

Coming back from Stockholm this evening and picking up my car that had been parked by the train station over the weekend, I discovered something worrying. I noticed that the speed meter on my car just did not work any more. It is worrying from two points of view. First; of course I will have to have it fixed. And I don’t like having to have things fixed on my car. I am convinced all such things will ruin my economy. Secondly this is nothing that I can postpone. I mean the car still works perfectly fine, but I know my self to well to let me drive without a working meter. Not that I always pay that much attention to it or the speed limits, but driving without it would probably render me drivers-licence-less in no time at all…

Life Sucks

Today there was another report on the wellbeing of the Swedish people presented on the morning news, or rather the not-well-being. This time a study confirmed that a big portion of the young adults (between 20-30 years)are not feeling well, they are depressed and suffer from anxeity etc etc. Not long ago there was another study about people with physical disabilities that showed how badly they felt and that their phsychological healt was also not that great. And just before that it was the elderly (10-15 percent of the above 65 are depressed), the young (15-20), before that pregnant women... I wonder if anyone is happy and feeling fine!! Maybe men between 40 and 65. Maybe it is their fault everyone else is feeling bad!? It's them that are in charge aren't they?!

Or is it just that we all have too high expectations on life? Or shall we just all agree on that life sucks?! Or is it just that we are actually doing so well we have the time to feel bad!? Or is it just bad journalism?!

Back to Normal Life?!

Back to Normal Life again!? And back to the small problems and annoyances of the developed world.
Came back to The Small Town only yesterday night, as I went straight from the airport to my parents’ place. I drove back with a close, childhood friend who is living in The Next Somewhat Bigger Town and she came up with me for a cup of tea and to watch some photos before she went home. After that I cleaned out my fridge and went out to buy some new food. It was quite late when I came back and I was pretty tired. So guess how happy I was to discover that obviously I hadn’t closed the door to the freezer properly before I left…. Great welcome home!!

The whole freezer was completely clogged with ice. There was no way around it but I had to start defrosting the freezer before I went to bed. As most of the time is just about waiting for the ice to melt (with some help from hot water) I started down loading some pictures from Afghanistan on my Travel blog. Somehow that got me captured and I continued doing that till 03.30. Very clever!! Just as I had almost overcome the jet lag…

Travel Worries

It might sound strange, but I actually worry more about going back to The Small Town than I ever did about going to Afghanistan. It became very obvious when we should leave Mazar. I felt I would much rather have stayed there than go back to The Small Town, especially as I was told that it was snowing. It is so horrible; I just can not understand how I can live there. I really do not want to go back!

My plan to delay the return by a stop over in Dubai does not really work out. That is so sad; I would really have needed a couple of relaxing days on my own on the beach or by the pool. The flights that I wanted to change my booking to were all booked out and changing the booking would cost 200 euros and not 100 as I thought, that might be a little too much for only two extra days, especially as hotels were quite expensive those days, as it is Easter, I suppose. 

N.B. I am not saying that the life in general would be better in Afghanistan than in The Small Town, by no means!! I am only saying that I can cope better with the life I would live here (or in any other place!) than with the life I live in The Small Town. And what I guess I am also saying is that I really have to do something about my “normal life”. At least getting a place where it feels like coming home to.

On the way!!

One day later than planned, and months later than due; I am actually on my way to Afghanistan now! The first stretch of the journey is behind me, I am in Copenhagen.

My proud ability to pack and travel lightly was completely wasted. I think I was quite good to only have 14 kg luggage for this kind of trip. Until someone came up with the idea that I should bring two flak jackets, they are 13 kgs each! So thats all for my effort. A nice smile saved me from paying overweight!! Good start!

If I have time to write from Afghanistan, which is not sure, you will find it on my Travel blog!

Busy skiiers!?

This weekend (Thursday to Sunday) I went skiing with a big group of colleagues. As we are over 20 persons out of office for two normal woking days some/most felt obliged to keep an eye on the mobile phone and the e-mail but we all somehow established that we are a bit pathetic. In my cottage where eight people are staying we togheter have 6 laptops with mobile internet connection and 15 mobile phones. On a skiing holiday!!! Pathetic or just a sign of the times...

Extremely Bad Timing

This time I really got more than i asked for, barely recovered from the sore throat and fever from last week, I now caught a cold. It is just so bad timing.
I had planned to go skiing with some colleagues this Thursday-Sunday. When the previously postponed trip to Afghanistan was planned with departure this Monday I started questioning whether that still was sensible or not. But since I can not plan everything in my life after that trip I decided to go anyway and have been working hard to get things ready on time. So therefore this cold came with very bad timing! Now I really don't know if I can go. On the other hand I think that is exactly what I would need right now; a couple of days off in nice company, with fresh air and some (light) physical exercise and a few days when I don't have to think of Afghanistan...

Laundry Room Fascism III

So, now I am back to one of my favourite topics to hate; the laundry room fascism. In the house where I live it is absolutely impossible for me to get my laundry done. I had booked the room two weeks ago, but then I was called to a meeting in Stockholm which meant I did not get back home in time. Therefore I took my dirty laundry and took it with me to my parents’ place and washed it there. Then I forgot to immediately make a new reservation and now I am completely screwed. The next time I can do my laundry seem to be in April!! Not that it is fully booked until then, but the next two weeks every evening is booked and my days are fully booked with meetings so I can not even choose to take time off from work to wash. Then after that I will most likely be away for two weeks, then it is Easter and then basically it is April!

Good that I am not good at getting rid of my clothes and now you see why I might need 11 pairs of jeans…

My Best Talent

I have suspected that for quite some time, but now I think I am sure. My best talent is probably to do nothing!!

The whole day today I have been at home and I have done absolutely nothing!! Ok, I have been working a bit, checking my e-mails, replying to them, read and commented on some documents and made some phone calls, but apart from that; nothing!! I haven't watched TV, I haven't read any books and really did not do much at all.

Ok, this morning I also spent some time on the phone waiting to get through at the doctors to make an appointment. And then I had to do something that I really didn't want to do today. My landlord had made an appointment with a presumptive tenant to have a look at the appartment and as I assumed I would not be here a Wednesday att 11 I thought that was an excellent idea. But now, having spent two days at home being sick and bored the appartment looked like a dump. So I really had to do an emergency clean up (do the dishes, vacuum clean, hang up some clotes, make the bed and take out the garbage)and as I really did not want to be here when they came I had to go out for a while. (If I would have been here it could very well have been an awkward situation. If the tenant to be asked me if I liked the appartment and if I had felt comfortable here I would have felt stupid to lie, but I don't think the landlord would have been happy if I had been honest!) But still I am amazed how easily a day can pass without noting happening! I am also amazed how we actually have time to work and do all those other things!!

My Best Man

Now, being at home and being sick, I have found a new friend. Well actually I think you could say we are a bit more than friends. We actually sleep together.
He is great! He keeps me warm when I am freezing and don't complain about being kicked out of bed when I get too hot. Well actually; at the moment I think he is better than any of the men I have slept with...

He might look Swiss, but is actually from Hamburg.




My hot water bottle!! ;-)

Wish came true

It is true; you should really be careful with what you wish because it may come true.

Some mornings when I really felt tired and really did not want to go to work I sometimes have wished that I would be a little ill. Just a little, not that I would be really ill of course, but just enough to stay in bed and have a day at home. But now I got what I wished for and it is not nice!

Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat, but it was not enough to make me stay at home, especially as the day was completely booked with meetings. But in the afternoon I felt really bad and went home earlier. Today I stayed at home. I have a fever and headache and a very soar throat. It is not that bad that I have to sleep the whole day, but still bad enough to really do anything. At the same time I feel I have loads to do at work and can not really relax and just enjoy watching bad tv and reading books. Instead I try to work a bit, keep checking my e-mails and get frustrated when I can not really take care of them properly because I am not in the office and I feel frustrated because my head feels dizzy and I get tired. But not tired enough to sleep. So here I am, bored and frustated. And I can hardly eat or drink as it feels like swallowing fire. Poor poor me!! :-)

Cleaning out the Closet... or not

My disability to clean out my closet and to get rid of old clothes is well known by now. Though I have noticed that cleaning out your closet and cleaning up among your friends have quite a few similarities….

As you go through live you meet a lot of different people and make a lot of different friends, but after while you can see that you have your own kind of “dressing style”. And exactly the same way as you would not wear all your different kinds of clothes at the same time, maybe you would not like to bring all your different friends together at the same time and place, but still there are probably some features that your friends/clothes have in common and others that would never make it into your closet or address book.

And exactly the same way that you can grow out of clothes you can grow out of some friends. Sometimes you get rid of the clothes and sometimes you keep them, although you never wear them any more. Maybe you just want to keep that beautiful dress or jacket only because you remember how much fun you had wearing it. The same way you keep some of your friends, although you never see each other anymore or maybe don’t even talk very often. It just feels good to know that they are there and to think of the good times you had together. Some maybe you actually should clean out. Others just disappear and you don’t even notice and don’t even remember, until something comes up, like an old photo or something and then you start thinking about what ever happened to her/him/that sweater/ those shoes, or maybe even thinking “who is that?” or “I can not remember ever having worn a polka dot dress!”.

Some friends are like a lovely, warm winter coat, you can always trust them to keep you warm and happy even if times get rough. Others are like an ill fitting piece of garment or an itchy wool sweater; you kind of like them for some reason but then there is something that just makes you have had enough after some wearing. As with clothes, some friends change with the time and wear and tear, some for the better and some for the worse. And whereas some friends are like your favourite velour home suite that fits you even when you feel fat, ugly, tired and your hair is unwashed, and that you love, no matter how worn, dirty and disgusting it gets, there are other friends that you will have to accept are more like a gala dress. It will only fit you and like you when you are already made up, your hair is styled and you are in a good party mood. Like there are fair weather clothes there are obviously also fair weather friends. If you are aware of that and don’t expect anything else, I think you can live with that and like them for what they are…