I have promised that before I moved from The Small Town I would actually list some of the GOOD things about The Small Town. Now that did not really happen, because today I officially, definitely and irreversibly moved from The Small Town!!! I am closing that chapter of my life and it feels GOOD!!!
Anyway, as a way of closing the chapter The Small Town I will list some of the good things:
Good things in/about The Small Town:
• The art museum. Small, but very nice. Beautifully situated by the lake. Interesting and ambitious exhibitions. Nice café and shop.
• The golf club. Ok it’s the only one I have been a member of, but it seems nice
• The cat asylum. Lovely place where you are welcome just to cuddle a cat when you need to. Nice people taken care of stray/abused/”left-over” cats. Made a charming calendar and write ads for the cats that makes your hart melt
• That you can by my favourite ice-cream; Klings
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Logistical Mess
I could never imagine the trouble the badly timed car-crash caused. I will not go into details here, they are far too many and too complicated, but since the car is now in the workshop I am without a car. As I have lived most of my adult life without a car I did not think that would be a problem, but then of course I didn’t live in The Small Town and worked 45 km away. There are trains and busses so I didn’t think it would be a problem, but then again, of course I didn’t know this would coincide with my move to Stockholm. And of course the repairs are taking longer than they first said, meaning I am without car this weekend as well. After having spent loads of time on the phone with the insurance company and almost all car rentals in the region I managed to get a car for this week and a small truck for the move this weekend. But I assure you it is no easy thing! What makes it more complicated is that there is no car rental in The Small Town that has normal cars, but only trucks and trailers. So now I have rented a car in The Somewhat Bigger Town and for Sunday a truck in The Small Town, the transportation in-between is not really solved yet, but I felt quite happy with the solution anyway. Then tonight I realised I will have a problem to pick my own car up from the workshop next week. The workshop is in The Small Town and is open 7-16, but next week I am duty-officer which means I have to be in the office 45 km away between 8-18. Of course I could then pick the car up at 7 before I go to work, but as I can not be without a car in case anything would happen at work I will have the duty-car, which means I will then have two cars!!
So either one car too few or one too many, or in the wrong place!!!
Oh I get so tired!!
So either one car too few or one too many, or in the wrong place!!!
Oh I get so tired!!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
My NEW Home
So, finally I got access to my NEW Stockholm apartment!! Got the key on Friday at lunch time and the same evening I had the inauguration with some friends over for champagne. I really believe that was the first party EVER in that building. That’s a cool feeling!
Some of my new neighbours obviously found it more important to get their furniture and stuff in place fist, but my priorities are friends and champagne over furniture. The furniture and other things will come next weekend.
I must say I am very happy with my NEW place. The last nights before I came here I had nightmares about it not being what I expected. But it is actually very nice. It is not, but well planned and at least the balcony was much bigger than I expected. There might be little too little wardrobes and cupboards for my clothes and shoes, but I will solve that somehow. And most of all it is NEW!! It even smells new! There are no smells from previous tenants. What ever I do here I am the first person to do it. When I was taking a bath I was looking at the tiles at the wall thinking that every one of them is new. None of them have any stains from water or soap. When I was emptying the bathtub I just happened to look down the outflow and noticed that the drain was absolutely WHITE. Not a stain, no old remains from soap and hair. Amazing!!
With this there is of course also a risk that one gets a bit neurotic and start thinking this is the way it has to remain and that one could get some kind of cleaning mania, as every stain and crack from here on is because of me. Not that I can really see myself having a cleaning mania, but nevertheless I thought it was safest to do what I can to prevent that and the inauguration party could be seen as serving that purpose. With eleven adults, one baby and seven bottles of champagne there can always be someone else to blame.
Some of my new neighbours obviously found it more important to get their furniture and stuff in place fist, but my priorities are friends and champagne over furniture. The furniture and other things will come next weekend.
I must say I am very happy with my NEW place. The last nights before I came here I had nightmares about it not being what I expected. But it is actually very nice. It is not, but well planned and at least the balcony was much bigger than I expected. There might be little too little wardrobes and cupboards for my clothes and shoes, but I will solve that somehow. And most of all it is NEW!! It even smells new! There are no smells from previous tenants. What ever I do here I am the first person to do it. When I was taking a bath I was looking at the tiles at the wall thinking that every one of them is new. None of them have any stains from water or soap. When I was emptying the bathtub I just happened to look down the outflow and noticed that the drain was absolutely WHITE. Not a stain, no old remains from soap and hair. Amazing!!
With this there is of course also a risk that one gets a bit neurotic and start thinking this is the way it has to remain and that one could get some kind of cleaning mania, as every stain and crack from here on is because of me. Not that I can really see myself having a cleaning mania, but nevertheless I thought it was safest to do what I can to prevent that and the inauguration party could be seen as serving that purpose. With eleven adults, one baby and seven bottles of champagne there can always be someone else to blame.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
March 8
Well, I just felt I had to write something about women and feminism today; the 8 March, International Women’s day. I can not say I have done anything to celebrate it or taken any political action to improve women’s situation today. Not that I use to either, but today I felt rather miserable because of a cold that I caught more than a wee ago and that is not getting any better and on top of that the weather is also absolutely miserable so I stayed inside the whole day and spent quite some time in bed or on the couch reading.
Very suitable however, the book that I am reading is dealing a lot with feminism and related issues and a big part of the book relates to manifestations held or planned to be held in Belgrade on March 8, 2008. The book is written by a friend of mine, who I met when I was living in Belgrade in 2005, but as the book is written later I don’t know the people she is writing about nor was I there when the things took place. However it is very interesting to read. I know the places she writes about and I feel I would have liked to get to know the people. The book shows the situation for feminists, gay and queer activists in a rather traditional, patriarchal society during times of strong nationalistic influence. I am impressed by the energy and the commitment of these persons and also of their sense for enjoying life. I wonder what I would have been like if I had been living as they did in Serbia during the 90.s.
Reading the book also got me thinking about what it means to be different and about group identity. This is anyway one of my favourite topics and something I have been discussing a lot recently with a gay friend of mine. Since I moved to The Small Town I have felt very very different from my surrounding. I can describe it like being a non-fitting part of a puzzle. The colour looks the same so you might think you fit, but every time you try to fit in you realise that there is no way you ever will and for every time you try your own shape threatens to get misshaped and it hurts. It feels like running head first in to a wall, time after time. My friend had the same feeling; he explained it like being among people who speak your language yet you don’t understand what they say and they don’t understand you. I think he had the feeling much of this was because he is gay and that might not be so easy in any small town. But I claim that is not the full explanation. I am as “normal” as you can be in this place, white, Swedish, heterosexual, not physically handicapped and even born in a small place in Sweden. So there is actually no “obvious reason” why I should not fit in here, and still it is absolutely not possible…
It is all a state of mind. How you feel about who you are and what you are. I find it very interesting to think about how important it is to us humans to fit in and to find some kind of belonging, no matter how different we think we are. Sometimes I think this is even more obvious in small towns. Inevitably you will find in every small town a group of people who think they are very different. The thing is only that they, among themselves all look the same. There are those clusters of “different” people. They might think they differ from the rest, but in the group they are all rather similar. They might dress the same way, eat the same kind of food, listen to the same kind of music, and vote for the same party etc etc. Hence they are rather predictable.
I don’t know a lot about queer-theory, but I find it very interesting and appealing. However also within the queer groups there is certain conformity. You have to be queer the “right” way. This was something that (again) struck me reading the book. There was a chapter about the joy and disappointment among the queer/gay/feminist community in Serbia after Marija Serifovic won the Eurovision Song Contest in 2007. The community hoped that this victory might be a positive force for their cause, her being lesbian and not representing the standard Serbian female ideal. Therefore the disappointment was big when she didn’t seem to want to play that part, but instead even performed at an election campaign for the radical party. I can understand the disappointment that anyone, no matter who, is campaigning for the Serbian radical party, but still I can not help to think that this is really queer. Here’s a Serbian, lesbian, of roma ethnicity, who just won the Eurovision Song Contest and not with some turbo-folk song, and who does not look like a traditional Serbian female star, but still supports the radicals. I want to once more stress that I don’t share or even understand her political choice and I can understand those who would have liked her to take another stand, but still I think this is queer. Isn’t it?! It is very unexpected and unpredictable. And isn’t that a lot what queer is about?! And what feminism is about?! The right to be who you are and make your own choices free from pre-set patterns and expectations?!
I believe it is, and one of the queerest persons I have ever met was a white, straight German guy who would not stand out in a crowd by his looks. He was (and I guess still is) a vegetarian and strong supporter of the German green party, which fits nicely together, but at the same time he was also an almost fanatic football fan and devoted fan of country music. To me that is a very unexpected combination and therefore queer.
So; cheers to all you wonderful unique individuals out there! No matter who or what you are I hope you will have the right to continue to be who and what you are and please, be kind to and respect each other.
Love
Very suitable however, the book that I am reading is dealing a lot with feminism and related issues and a big part of the book relates to manifestations held or planned to be held in Belgrade on March 8, 2008. The book is written by a friend of mine, who I met when I was living in Belgrade in 2005, but as the book is written later I don’t know the people she is writing about nor was I there when the things took place. However it is very interesting to read. I know the places she writes about and I feel I would have liked to get to know the people. The book shows the situation for feminists, gay and queer activists in a rather traditional, patriarchal society during times of strong nationalistic influence. I am impressed by the energy and the commitment of these persons and also of their sense for enjoying life. I wonder what I would have been like if I had been living as they did in Serbia during the 90.s.
Reading the book also got me thinking about what it means to be different and about group identity. This is anyway one of my favourite topics and something I have been discussing a lot recently with a gay friend of mine. Since I moved to The Small Town I have felt very very different from my surrounding. I can describe it like being a non-fitting part of a puzzle. The colour looks the same so you might think you fit, but every time you try to fit in you realise that there is no way you ever will and for every time you try your own shape threatens to get misshaped and it hurts. It feels like running head first in to a wall, time after time. My friend had the same feeling; he explained it like being among people who speak your language yet you don’t understand what they say and they don’t understand you. I think he had the feeling much of this was because he is gay and that might not be so easy in any small town. But I claim that is not the full explanation. I am as “normal” as you can be in this place, white, Swedish, heterosexual, not physically handicapped and even born in a small place in Sweden. So there is actually no “obvious reason” why I should not fit in here, and still it is absolutely not possible…
It is all a state of mind. How you feel about who you are and what you are. I find it very interesting to think about how important it is to us humans to fit in and to find some kind of belonging, no matter how different we think we are. Sometimes I think this is even more obvious in small towns. Inevitably you will find in every small town a group of people who think they are very different. The thing is only that they, among themselves all look the same. There are those clusters of “different” people. They might think they differ from the rest, but in the group they are all rather similar. They might dress the same way, eat the same kind of food, listen to the same kind of music, and vote for the same party etc etc. Hence they are rather predictable.
I don’t know a lot about queer-theory, but I find it very interesting and appealing. However also within the queer groups there is certain conformity. You have to be queer the “right” way. This was something that (again) struck me reading the book. There was a chapter about the joy and disappointment among the queer/gay/feminist community in Serbia after Marija Serifovic won the Eurovision Song Contest in 2007. The community hoped that this victory might be a positive force for their cause, her being lesbian and not representing the standard Serbian female ideal. Therefore the disappointment was big when she didn’t seem to want to play that part, but instead even performed at an election campaign for the radical party. I can understand the disappointment that anyone, no matter who, is campaigning for the Serbian radical party, but still I can not help to think that this is really queer. Here’s a Serbian, lesbian, of roma ethnicity, who just won the Eurovision Song Contest and not with some turbo-folk song, and who does not look like a traditional Serbian female star, but still supports the radicals. I want to once more stress that I don’t share or even understand her political choice and I can understand those who would have liked her to take another stand, but still I think this is queer. Isn’t it?! It is very unexpected and unpredictable. And isn’t that a lot what queer is about?! And what feminism is about?! The right to be who you are and make your own choices free from pre-set patterns and expectations?!
I believe it is, and one of the queerest persons I have ever met was a white, straight German guy who would not stand out in a crowd by his looks. He was (and I guess still is) a vegetarian and strong supporter of the German green party, which fits nicely together, but at the same time he was also an almost fanatic football fan and devoted fan of country music. To me that is a very unexpected combination and therefore queer.
So; cheers to all you wonderful unique individuals out there! No matter who or what you are I hope you will have the right to continue to be who and what you are and please, be kind to and respect each other.
Love
Feeding the Monster
I must be a bit mad or something. Or at least I definitely seem to have a small monster living in my head. Just as things seem to sort out nicely and get in place, I mean work wise and house wise, I start thinking about how nice it would be to work abroad again. The last couple of days I have been thinking a lot about where I would like to go and for how long. I definitely suffer from what in Swedish might be called “någonannanstanslängtan”, the constant longing to be somewhere else. I would really prefer to have a contract over one year, maybe two or three would be ideal. I am not so much into the three to six months contracts that could have been an alternative. I really would like so stay a bit longer in a country, to really get to know some of it, learn about the history, the people, politics and culture in a more in-depth way.
But what do I do then when this monster start calling me to get moving again? Do I tell it to shut up or tell it to crawl away back into some forgotten corner of my mind? No of course not. As the kind and generous host I am to this monster, I feed it. I pick up contact with my friends who live and work abroad and take pleasure in hearing about their life. I read about countries where I have been living and keep reminding myself of what fun I had there and then. I look at the pictures and start thinking about where I would like to go and looking for interesting jobs to apply for. At the same time as I feel so relived not having to constantly look for other jobs and thinking about where to go next, that is what I constantly do. Today I found a job that I would really love and that I have more or less been waiting for, in a country where I would really like to work. But I won’t apply for it!! I will have to stop my self from applying for it. I really have things going for me now and should not make it harder for me.
Stupid monster!! Why can I not just be happy and satisfied being in one place? Other people seem to be.I suppose I will have to make some kind of deal with the monster, as I know it will most probably not just go away. I really plan to stay in Stockholm all of 2009 and I think I would also like to stay at least for the first half of 2010. If I try to get to travel a bit during my holidays and if I continue to feed the monster small portions I hope it will stay reasonably calm and docile.
But what do I do then when this monster start calling me to get moving again? Do I tell it to shut up or tell it to crawl away back into some forgotten corner of my mind? No of course not. As the kind and generous host I am to this monster, I feed it. I pick up contact with my friends who live and work abroad and take pleasure in hearing about their life. I read about countries where I have been living and keep reminding myself of what fun I had there and then. I look at the pictures and start thinking about where I would like to go and looking for interesting jobs to apply for. At the same time as I feel so relived not having to constantly look for other jobs and thinking about where to go next, that is what I constantly do. Today I found a job that I would really love and that I have more or less been waiting for, in a country where I would really like to work. But I won’t apply for it!! I will have to stop my self from applying for it. I really have things going for me now and should not make it harder for me.
Stupid monster!! Why can I not just be happy and satisfied being in one place? Other people seem to be.I suppose I will have to make some kind of deal with the monster, as I know it will most probably not just go away. I really plan to stay in Stockholm all of 2009 and I think I would also like to stay at least for the first half of 2010. If I try to get to travel a bit during my holidays and if I continue to feed the monster small portions I hope it will stay reasonably calm and docile.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Hallelujah!!
On the (long and boring) way back from work today I suddenly came to the wonderful insight that this weekend is the last I spend in The Small Town!!!! Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!
Can hardly beleive it is true!!
Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!
Can hardly beleive it is true!!
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Out of Synch
Not that this is any news, but recently I have again seen the confirmation of me being so out of synch with the rest of the world. Just to take a small example:
Last week our crown-princess announced that she and her long time boyfriend now will get married. Of course the media was all head over heels over that and there were lot of comments on what this might mean to society in general and the monarchy in particular. The general opinion was that this would mean a wave of good-will and a strengthened position for the royal family and the monarchy and that the republicans (albeit already rather weak in Sweden) will have some though years ahead.
I am by now means a republican although I would not really call myself a monarchist either. I just think as long as the royal family themselves put up with the situation and as long as they don’t make too much of an embarrassment of themselves they can stay and I do prefer them to a politically elected president. (I can go into the reasons for that at some other time). However, the interview where the happy couple announced their engagement made me actually feel more like a republican and less in support for the monarchy. It felt so awkward and archaic. Especially the way the boyfriend had to call his wife-to-be “the crown-princess”. Maybe it felt more awkward and unnatural just because they, as persons, seem to be so very normal and un-royal. Anyway; I noted that my reaction seemed to be absolutely the opposite from the rest of the country. Even though I might not stretch it as far as one of my colleagues who called me “hard, cold and peculiar” because I did not cry at the announcement.
Another example, that might be more significant for my life not being in synch with the rest of the world, concerns the financial situation. I must say that I have personally not noticed the financial crisis at all. Maybe because I don’t really have a financial situation at all, I don’t have any assets or debts, I still have a job and money comes in the 25.th every month and is gone at the end of the next month, nothing new about that. Our minister for employment got famous for predicting year 2009 to become a “shit-year”. Well, from what I know now, my 2009 looks pretty promising.
Last week our crown-princess announced that she and her long time boyfriend now will get married. Of course the media was all head over heels over that and there were lot of comments on what this might mean to society in general and the monarchy in particular. The general opinion was that this would mean a wave of good-will and a strengthened position for the royal family and the monarchy and that the republicans (albeit already rather weak in Sweden) will have some though years ahead.
I am by now means a republican although I would not really call myself a monarchist either. I just think as long as the royal family themselves put up with the situation and as long as they don’t make too much of an embarrassment of themselves they can stay and I do prefer them to a politically elected president. (I can go into the reasons for that at some other time). However, the interview where the happy couple announced their engagement made me actually feel more like a republican and less in support for the monarchy. It felt so awkward and archaic. Especially the way the boyfriend had to call his wife-to-be “the crown-princess”. Maybe it felt more awkward and unnatural just because they, as persons, seem to be so very normal and un-royal. Anyway; I noted that my reaction seemed to be absolutely the opposite from the rest of the country. Even though I might not stretch it as far as one of my colleagues who called me “hard, cold and peculiar” because I did not cry at the announcement.
Another example, that might be more significant for my life not being in synch with the rest of the world, concerns the financial situation. I must say that I have personally not noticed the financial crisis at all. Maybe because I don’t really have a financial situation at all, I don’t have any assets or debts, I still have a job and money comes in the 25.th every month and is gone at the end of the next month, nothing new about that. Our minister for employment got famous for predicting year 2009 to become a “shit-year”. Well, from what I know now, my 2009 looks pretty promising.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Growing up..
Somehow I felt that the fact that I, for the first time (ever?!), will have a good job on a permanent contract, as well as an apartment of my own in a place where I actually can see myself living, maybe meant that I was about to grow up and maybe become an adult. But when I see the list in the previous post I am no longer so sure…
Technical Adivce Wanted
Right now I feel the need to modernise the technical standard of my home (life!?). Partly because I will be moving into my new apartment and partly because some things I don’t have or the old stuff I have is not working very well any more, but to no extent whatsoever because I am interested in new technical stuff!! Therefore I really would appreciate if anyone out there hade some good suggestions and tips on what to buy or what to think about when buying:
• Dishwasher
• Camera
• TV
• Vacuum cleaner
• Lap top or at least upgrading the old one
While at it I could also appreciate some good advice on insurances and how and where to keep your savings at times like these…
• Dishwasher
• Camera
• TV
• Vacuum cleaner
• Lap top or at least upgrading the old one
While at it I could also appreciate some good advice on insurances and how and where to keep your savings at times like these…
Thursday, February 26, 2009
News??
On the news I just heard about a result from a big research project on diets and weight loss. It is apparently the most extensive research project ever made on the matter. Very surprisingly (?) the conclusion of the project was that no diets work, either low-carb, Atkin’s, GI or any other of all the numerous available diets. The only thing that works if you want to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. Who’s surprised?! That’s what I have always said; it is all a matter of input and output, plus and minus. Why would it be any other way?!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Praise to the People!
Just happened to get stuck in front of the TV broadcasting the Academy Awards. I normally don’t care that much for it and normally don’t watch the show. I do like film but the circus around it is not so much my thing. Nevertheless I got a bit moved by some of the speeches. Not so much the somewhat over emotional thank-speeches, but more so the motivations for the nominations. I found it great to great actors making speeches about how great the other actors are. I believe we all would need some more speeches where we get to hear what wonderful persons, colleagues, professionals, men and women we are…
Ok, you might get to hear some of that when getting married, retire or at your funeral, but wouldn’t it be nice to get to really hear get to it!? So; make more speeches to honour the people that mean something to you!!
Ok, you might get to hear some of that when getting married, retire or at your funeral, but wouldn’t it be nice to get to really hear get to it!? So; make more speeches to honour the people that mean something to you!!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
New Office
I must say I am not looking forward to become a commuter. From tomorrow I will be working 45 km from where I am living. There are bus and train connections but not very good ones. We are still a few living in The Small Town so for a start we can travel together by car, but of course it is a bit in convenient that exactly now when I really need the car for the first time, it is not working very well… and anyway it means lost of time and having to get up earlier in the morning. So not my thing!
I don’t really look forward to unpacking and getting used to a new office again, and only for a couple of weeks, either. Buy I guess I will have to think about it not being for very long. I am counting the days.
I don’t really look forward to unpacking and getting used to a new office again, and only for a couple of weeks, either. Buy I guess I will have to think about it not being for very long. I am counting the days.
Friday, February 20, 2009
The First of Last Days
Because things have been a bit crazy lately I hardly noticed something that is quite amazing when you think about it. Yesterday I worked the last day in The Small Town!!
The office is moving to The Somewhat Bigger Town this weekend and from Monday that is where I will be working. Ok I will still live in The Small Town for a while, so that is maybe one reason why it did not feel that overwhelming, but it is only a matter of a month or so, then I will be in Stockholm and I will be having a life again!!
There is light at the end of the tunnel!
And it is not the train coming...
The office is moving to The Somewhat Bigger Town this weekend and from Monday that is where I will be working. Ok I will still live in The Small Town for a while, so that is maybe one reason why it did not feel that overwhelming, but it is only a matter of a month or so, then I will be in Stockholm and I will be having a life again!!
There is light at the end of the tunnel!
And it is not the train coming...
Thursday, February 19, 2009
A Crazy Day
There have been some crazy days. A lot has happened, most of it actually quite good. I will tell more about it. But yesterday I got a proof of that you are never allowed be completely happy. After a very good day I felt exuberant and to celebrate things I asked some colleagues over for dinner and wine. Before that I went down to town to buy some sparkling and food stuff.
In The Small Town there are a few rather awkward crossings, but after living here for a while you know them pretty well and know what rules here are. Just before where I wanted to park there is a four-way-stop, very unusual in Sweden. I stopped and as it was rather late there were no cars so I drove again. When in the middle of the crossing a car is coming from the right and does not stop at all but just crashes in to the front of my car. As none of us were driving very fast the crash was not that bad, but of course you get a bit upset. I got angry because I knew I had done no wrong and it was entirely his fault. The other driver also got upset at first as he thought he was right while coming from the right. But when I told him to go back and have a look at the sign he changed his mind realising it was his fault. We solved the situation amicable and none was really that angry any longer, although not very happy either of course. His car was actually worse damaged and then of course he will bear all the costs. But most important of course, there were no personal injuries.
Today I called the other driver to discuss how to proceed with the matter. It was actually a rather nice conversation. I was a bit worried that he might have changed his mind about who caused the accident, but that was no issue. He just said he was very angry with himself as he was the sole cause of the accident. He also said that after all, he was happy that if something like this must happen, he was glad it was with someone as nice as me! And that he was impressed that I didn’t get angry with him, as he would have freaked out completely if it happened to him. I told him that it was most likely because I had had a good day up till then and that helped…
In The Small Town there are a few rather awkward crossings, but after living here for a while you know them pretty well and know what rules here are. Just before where I wanted to park there is a four-way-stop, very unusual in Sweden. I stopped and as it was rather late there were no cars so I drove again. When in the middle of the crossing a car is coming from the right and does not stop at all but just crashes in to the front of my car. As none of us were driving very fast the crash was not that bad, but of course you get a bit upset. I got angry because I knew I had done no wrong and it was entirely his fault. The other driver also got upset at first as he thought he was right while coming from the right. But when I told him to go back and have a look at the sign he changed his mind realising it was his fault. We solved the situation amicable and none was really that angry any longer, although not very happy either of course. His car was actually worse damaged and then of course he will bear all the costs. But most important of course, there were no personal injuries.
Today I called the other driver to discuss how to proceed with the matter. It was actually a rather nice conversation. I was a bit worried that he might have changed his mind about who caused the accident, but that was no issue. He just said he was very angry with himself as he was the sole cause of the accident. He also said that after all, he was happy that if something like this must happen, he was glad it was with someone as nice as me! And that he was impressed that I didn’t get angry with him, as he would have freaked out completely if it happened to him. I told him that it was most likely because I had had a good day up till then and that helped…
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Skiing
Today I actually took advantage of living in the middle of nowhere. Both today and yesterday were fabulously beautiful winter days, with white glistening snow, blue sky and sunshine. Therefor I went for a spontanous skiing trip on my own. Just a short drive and three hours skiing in the afternoon. Not bad!! Good for the first skiing of the season.
While skiing though, I remembered that the last time I was skiing was not last winter, but this summer. Indoors. In Dubai. Weird!
While skiing though, I remembered that the last time I was skiing was not last winter, but this summer. Indoors. In Dubai. Weird!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Stuck in a Pattern
Sometimes it is easy to get stuck in behavioural patterns. I believe most people have at some time or another felt that you are doing the same mistakes over and over again. This is no less true for relations. I have spoken to many friends about to what extent failed relations is the result of a pattern of action or pattern of how you choose your partner. But it is one thing to have a vague perception of that you might have a pattern that might not be very helpful for you. Because I mean, if you do what you always have done, you get what you always get. Then there is not much opening for a change. But becoming aware of exactly what your pattern consists of and how to change it is a completely different thing.
Therefore it was kind of satisfying or maybe at least amusing when a friend of mine told me some gossip about a former boyfriend of mine today. Talking about being stuck in a pattern!! She told me that he had recently broken up with the girl he met quite soon after we split. And not long after this break-up, or maybe even before, she wasn’t sure; he got together with another girl. The whole break-up and the whole story about the new girlfriend showed all the signs of a very familiar pattern. I can’t help wondering if they are going to Italy this spring…
Therefore it was kind of satisfying or maybe at least amusing when a friend of mine told me some gossip about a former boyfriend of mine today. Talking about being stuck in a pattern!! She told me that he had recently broken up with the girl he met quite soon after we split. And not long after this break-up, or maybe even before, she wasn’t sure; he got together with another girl. The whole break-up and the whole story about the new girlfriend showed all the signs of a very familiar pattern. I can’t help wondering if they are going to Italy this spring…
Stuck
I am stuck in The Small Town this weekend, totally against my will, because I am duty officer this weekend. It really feels like being electronically tagged. After some insistence I managed to get some clear information on how far away from the office I am allowed to go. I found out that in case something would happen that can not be solved over the phone and mobile internet I have to be in the office in less than 90 minutes. I realised that is enough to be able to join my sister and her family to the closest skiing area tomorrow. Great!! I could get out and get some fresh air, sun, skiing and social stimuli. It suddenly all felt quite ok again. Therefore I got quite disappointed when my sister called tonight and told me they had some problems with their car and didn’t feel really comfortable to go for a longer drive before they had the chance to check it up. So skiing is off. And I am stuck in The Small Town again. :-(
Seeing the Light
I am finally seeing it again. The light that slowly started to glimmer at the end of the tunnel during autumn, but then rapidly faded in December and during the beginning of this year has been alarmingly absent. The light; meaning moving away from The Small Town.
Yesterday I received the information that I will receive the key and be able to move into my new apartment in Stockholm in exactly one month!! And yesterday, as well as today my boss confirmed that I will be transferred to Stockholm some time during March, although the exact date is yet not fixed. So, slowly I am returning to life.
The job might still not be what I want to do, and I am afraid t won’t get better in Sthlm, but I will be there!! I will be able to have a normal life outside work!! That’s a good start!!
Yesterday I received the information that I will receive the key and be able to move into my new apartment in Stockholm in exactly one month!! And yesterday, as well as today my boss confirmed that I will be transferred to Stockholm some time during March, although the exact date is yet not fixed. So, slowly I am returning to life.
The job might still not be what I want to do, and I am afraid t won’t get better in Sthlm, but I will be there!! I will be able to have a normal life outside work!! That’s a good start!!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Homesick
Lately I have been thinking a lot about my new apartment. It is not so long before I really can move in and what once seemed very distant and unreal is actually happening. Now the job-thing actually seems to work out as well, so things are quite good. Still I can’t help worry a little as well.
I think, dream and long for my new flat basically every day. I think about how to place the furniture, about finally hanging pictures on the walls, about really getting things that I like. Longing for my new bathtub, dreaming about getting a dishwasher etc etc. Not to mention the fact that I will be able to live somewhere where I can have a normal life, where I can meet my friends and go out with them and still get back to my own place, not having to sleep over on someone’s mattress or sofa. I will also be able to get active in some organisation or take a evening course or something like that because I know I might actually be around for a while, not constantly on the move. For the first time in a long time (maybe really the first time) I am moving to something instead of moving away from something.
At the same time all these expectations make me feel a bit afraid that I might get disappointed. I still haven’t seen the apartment and what if I don’t like it when I see it! What if it is dark, if I find it tiny and ugly?! What if it has paper walls and the neighbours are loud?! Well, somehow I believe it can not be wrong and it can not be bad, but all the expectation open up for disappointment.
I think, dream and long for my new flat basically every day. I think about how to place the furniture, about finally hanging pictures on the walls, about really getting things that I like. Longing for my new bathtub, dreaming about getting a dishwasher etc etc. Not to mention the fact that I will be able to live somewhere where I can have a normal life, where I can meet my friends and go out with them and still get back to my own place, not having to sleep over on someone’s mattress or sofa. I will also be able to get active in some organisation or take a evening course or something like that because I know I might actually be around for a while, not constantly on the move. For the first time in a long time (maybe really the first time) I am moving to something instead of moving away from something.
At the same time all these expectations make me feel a bit afraid that I might get disappointed. I still haven’t seen the apartment and what if I don’t like it when I see it! What if it is dark, if I find it tiny and ugly?! What if it has paper walls and the neighbours are loud?! Well, somehow I believe it can not be wrong and it can not be bad, but all the expectation open up for disappointment.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Madonna in Gothenburg
I am happy to hear Madonna is playing in Sweden this summer. On August 9 on Ullevi, Gothenburg. I would really love to go there, but I doubt I will find anyone of my friends who want to join me. :-(
If I am wrong, please let me know asap. Tickets will be released February 9.
If I am wrong, please let me know asap. Tickets will be released February 9.
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