Happy 2009! Happy 2010!?

2009 is slowly coming to an end and it is time to make a summary. I must say 2009 has been a very good year for me. Looking back; one could even say that the 1,5 year in The Small Town almost seem worth it. It has made me happy every single day for almost a whole year, only because of the fact that I don't live there anymore. I hope it will last 2010 too. Right now it feels good and promising!

To be; or Not to be a Woman, That is the Question

One thing that has been fascinating me since this summer was the discussion that arose in connection with the world championships in athletics in Berlin about the South African runner Caster Semenya. After having completely dominated the women’s 800 metres there was a discussion about that she might possibly not be a woman at all. There was a lot about it in the media and although I didn’t follow it very carefully I understood that there were a lot of tests taken, gender tests, hormone tests, physical examinations and I don’t know what. Still people didn’t seem to be quite sure whether she was really a woman or not.

This was the first thing that fascinated me. Just imagine that there are so many things in our society that are completely based on what sex you are. Your name, your clothes, how you are supposed to behave, whom you are supposed to fall in love with, what kind of job you do, how much you earn for the job you do and the amount of power you get among other things. Yes, a person’s sex sometimes actually seems to be the most important thing about a person. Just think about how the first question asked about a newborn child is whether it is a boy or a girl. I know, many would (rightfully) object that many of the things mentioned above is not a matter of a persons sex but a matter of gender. In a way I agree, but still, the socially constructed gender is very much formed by the sex of a person. Therefore I find it very interesting that not even the state of the art of science can definitely agree on whether a person is a man or a woman. Can it than be so f***ing important!? Isn’t it about time that we start letting people be just what they are?!

This week the whole story got another interesting twist. Now the IOK and IAAF have come to the conclusion that Semenya is one of very few women that have extremely high levels of testosterone, more than ten times higher than a “normal” woman. This higher level of testosterone is suspected to give her some advantages over other female competitors. This high level is regarded as a medical problem that can be treated and therefore persons like Caster Semenya should go through treatment before they are allowed to take part in this kind of sports competitions.

But hey!! Isn’t there something very wrong here?! Isn’t this, what sport is all about?! That there are some persons who have certain physical features that make them better suited for certain kinds of sports?! Shouldn’t tall persons be allowed to play basket ball?? Should we first send them to some anti-growth-hormone-treatment?! I think this is completely sick!! And I also think it is very typical that this is happening to a woman, who is considered not to be “the right kind of” woman. And of course a woman who is not a “real” woman needs to be sent to treatment!

Shame on you IOK and IAAF!
Go Semenya!! Go Girl!!

Change?!

Well, as you might have noticed I haven't been writing much lately. The funny thing is, considering the name of this blog, that the reason for that is, that I believe I have had a very normal life the last couple of months. Normal life meaning I have been busy working at a job that I like, living in a place that I like in a town that I like and been seeing my friends who I like. So nothing much to complain and being frustrated about and no reason for escaping to strange places. And although I have had a very nice time and enjoyed myself, there hasn't really been anything to write home about.

Anyway, we are now approaching a new year. It might be time to sum up the past year and make predictions about the coming. My hope for the new year is that it will be one full year (12 months) of not moving and not changing jobs. That would be the first in over 10 years time for me!! I am not yet sure if I will make it and if the preconditions are the right, but I have good hopes they might be. Whish me luck!!

So if my life is not that exciting at the moment, maybe it is time for me to try to write a little more reflective texts. Maybe a little more about society and politics, matters that actually do interest me. Maybe, let's see...

My Christmas tree

A Monster in the Yard

As the work to finish the yard behind my house is progressing, there are small surprises almost everyday. Some better, some worse. This morning I discovered this monster.

I don't really know what this orange thing is supposed to be, if it is a piece of art or a toy for the kids, but anyway it is gross. Absolutely horrible. I don't know exactly what is under the plastic sheeting, but I think it has a mate as well..

To get a day at sea

Today I had a great day at sea! I was out sailing with a friend of a friend. It was not really planned at all but we met at an after work in a bar yesterday together with some other friends. When this friend said he planned to go sailing today I more or less invited myself to join. As I don't know him very well I wasn't sure wether he meant it or not, but indeed; we went sailing, togehter with his sister.
Some times it pays off to be a bit cocky. Today it gave me a great day at sea!



This September has just been fantastic!! So warm and sunny!! It feels like it is still real summer, only with a little higher air and a slight tone of red and yellow among the green. I hope it stays like this for a long time still. We were talking about swimming today, although we didn't, mostly out of laziness I think, I don't think the water would have been very cold.

Bad Planning

Sometimes I wonder what is really the driving force behind some spatial planning. Quite often you see parks or school yards etc where the paved paths are nowhere close to where people want to walk. And as people are generally lazy of course they walk where they want to walk and new spontanous paths occurs. Sometimes the park planners accept the fact and let the new paht get pawed, which I think is good, sometimes they start counter strike and do everything they can to prevent people to walk where they want. Mostly a rather futile fight.
Now I have a very near example of this rather bad planning (in my more malevolant moments I call it fascist planning). The house where I live is new and the yard is just being finished. From the yard there is the entrance to the bicycle room and the laundry room. For long there was no paved paths at all but as people had to walk there they had put some wooden boards to walk on, but now quite recently they have fiished the paving and now we just wait for them to plant some plants and bushes etc. When the paving was done I really asked how they thought when they made the plans!!



You enter the yard from the street to the right. If you then want to go to the bicyle room would you then prefer to take the straight (pink) way or the prescribed (yellow dotted)way?! I would guess the pink! Especially as the temporary wooden board that was there before the paving was placed exacly there. I just wonder what they were thinking.

Since I took this picture they have now put some stands for bikes just exacly where all normal persons would want to go (the pink line), just to prevent people from walking there. Hence I believe those planners are more of the fascistoid kind.

Back in Belgrad and what's new?

Last weekend back in Belgrade was just great! The reason for going there right now was that I had a ticket for the Madonna concert Monday, but of course that was just a perfect excuse for going there again. I haven’t been back since October 2006, so it was a long time ago. As an extra bonus my wonderful friends had decided to arrange the now somewhat traditional boat party this Saturday, which of course was absolutely fabulous! The party and the concert are better described in pictures so that will come later, but one question I both asked myself and was asked to me several times is; what has changed since last time you were here?



On the first look it looked very much the same. Of course you see some new shops, others that have closed, some new restaurants and bars and even a few completely new shopping malls. Some housed may have been renovated, but many still look rather shabby, in their charming Belgrade way. But after a while you start to notice small differences. One new thing that I noticed in the streets and the parks, were the green boxes for dog litter and plastic bags to take it up with. With the amount of dog shit that used to be found on the streets this is really an improvement. (if they are used!). Another thing was that you now can pay with credit cards in almost every shop. They even had little terminals were you had to give the pin in even the smallest shops. Amazing!! I even thought the air was a little less polluted and that I saw less really shitty cars and more modern ones. All this taken together gives the feeling that Belgrade has become a little bit more modern and “normal”.



The most revolutionary however was the evolution that the men had gone through! I saw several men that actually were nicely dressed!! Not fancy, but maybe just a pair of nice jeans, shoes and a cool t-shirt or shirt. That is not so many sneakers-training pants and leather jackets as I remember it. That is really good. I mean the Serbian men could be really good looking and handsome, but they haven’t given a damn about trying or giving it an effort. They have just been dragging along in their probably very comfortable “uniform”, but comfortable is not reason enough. I mean how damn comfortable do you think the 10 cm stilettos are?! Not very, nor much of other kinds of women’s fashion either, but still we wear it because it looks good. So it is about time men make an effort as well. The most chocking experience I had this weekend however was that a Serbian man actually flirted with me!! That NEVER happened once in the year I lived here (nor my visits after that!). It was even a waiter in a café, maybe even more chocking!!

Ouch!

As I wrote a while ago, cycling in the city can be dangerous. Today that was confirmed. On my way to the office today I had an accident. I am ok, especially considering that it was a quite nasty fall. I am a bit bruised and blue and sore all over and have a big bump on the back of my head (I know I should have worn a helmet!). A biker in front of me very suddenly breaked to awoid hitting a pedestrian just stepping out in front of him. I breaked very hard to, but still ran into the bike in front of me, my bike got hooked on the other bike and then flew together with on the side. Luckily this was a separated lane for bikers and hence no cars coming, but I was actually quite close to falling into the water instead.
It is amazing how irrational one first reacts. First I was most upset and angry over that one of my favourite dresses got all messed up and when the people who rushed to help me asked how they could help me I was only asking for help to get my hairclip out of my hair where it had got stuck... I was also still very convinced I should continue to the office despite everyone telling me to go home and relax or maybe to the hospital. But I was so convinced I should go on. Not even when they were making me aware of that I was bleeding on my foot and hand and probably in a state of chock I changed my mind. Because I was so stubborn to ladies helped me to remove my bike and park it and one offered to walk with me to the office. Only when I started walking and felt that my back hurt I started to think that maybe I shouldn’t go to work anyway. After that I also started to get more sad than just being angry and started to shiver and cry. I also got more aware of how I looked; bruised, dirty and with a bleeding foot hand and elbow and a thorn dress. So I realised that at least I should go home first for a while and then maybe go to work. I called the office and the woman helping me called a taxi and sent me off home.

I am feeling ok now, I am a bit sore and bruised and very tired, but ok. It is amazing how the body reacts to things like this. I guess I had a real adrenaline rush first that made me not feeling pain and then the chock came with a whole range of strange reactions. I think it also the chock that made me feel so tired now. Good it is Friday and a nice coincidence that my mother was coming here today anyway. Will soon be nicely looked after! 

Sticky & Sweet; Belgrade

When we entered the arena we first did not realise that Madonna her self were actually making the sound check. When we realised it was quite cool to se her so close-up, relaxed and with no stage outfit or make-up. Felt kind of exclusive!





But then, after a long waiting, the show finally began!! And what a show!!

Back at work and its dangerous

Today was the first day after the holidays for many Swedes. That was very obvious when I was cycling to the office this morning. I have been working most of the summer, except for last week, and I have been cycling every day. The last 5-6 weeks the city has been almost empty and the way to work was very smooth. Today was completely different!! It was dangerous!!
I often get the question if I don't find it is scary or dangerous to cycle in the city, but I have never felt that before. Today it almost was a big scary, much worse than before the holidays. I suppose people are back in town alright, but not really mentally back and also haven't gotten back into the normal everyday routine. Today there were cars, bikes and pedestrians coming from all directions at the same time. Completely chaos! I hope I will survive the adjustment period.

Vive la France!

Had a absolutely fabulous week in France!!
I mean, how wrong it be with 20 really good friends that haven't met in a year in a great house in southern France, sunshine, a nice pool, delicious food, wine and drinks and nice activities?! But the best of all are of course the people, great all of them. And a really good thing about being so many as 20 is that you don't have to do everything together all the time. It works perfectly fine to have small subgroups and choose to go for some sightseeing, some canoing, horseback riding or just hanging by the pool. Perfect!!

Might post some pictures later.

France, here I come!

Now I am actually starting my one week of summer holiday for this year!

Tomorrow I am off to France for a week. Will fly to Toulouse and by car from there to a friend's family's house where I will spend the week together with some 20+ friends. It will be great!! So looking forward to that!

But the flight is pretty early so I should stop writing now and get to sleep.

Blogs..

For being a blogger myself, I guess I read very few blogs. Hardly any to be honest. But today my colleague and I started talking about blogs and why people read/write them. That made me surf around a bit and made me end up reading some blogs I haven't visited at all before. Some by people I know a bit and other by "celebrities" or wannabe-celebrities. Some by people my own age but the ones that really opened up a new world to me were the ones by teenagers. It is definetly a different world, although I can still recognise parts of it from my own youth. The only difference is that we might have written those rather pathetic poems and "philosophic" reflextions in a diary that we kept locked and stoved away somewhere secret. The pictures they post are definitly very different and making them more open and public don't make it all better I promise. However I wonder if making them public at all, really is a good idea for the writer. I wonder if those rather small and average problems don't actually get bigger and more permanent this way... But that is on the other hand just an other unscientific reflection.

More obvious is however how many really bad and uninteresting blogs there are out there! I wonder who can be intereseted in most of them. It also makes me seriously consider killing this blog. Or maybe just admit that I am just as pathetic as all the others...

It worked...

For all of you who just can't wait to know what happened to my lipgloss by internet order. I can just inform you; I am thrilled!! It arrived by mail today. Picking it up at the post office I was quite surprised to find the package nicely wrapped up with a light purple silk ribbon on it, just like a birthday present, not like an awerage postal package. The guy behind the counter seemed also rather amused and surprised.
When I got home and unpacked the box there was a lot of plastic packing as if it would have been something very fragile. In the midle of the packing the box with the tube in it was all wrapped in metallic purple gift paper. I was amazed! That someone actually takes the time and the effort to do this for such a simple thing as a lipgloss!! It was not even very expensive. Ok, at least not more expensive than this kind of gloss normally is. So now I have my favourit gloss again!! And so far I haven't noticed that my credit card has been misused. I feel so satisfied with it I will even recommend the site. www.strawberrynet.com

Off to the islands

Waiting for the boat to take me to the Stockholm archipelago for the weekend. B-)

Revenge by proxy

I really like my new apartment and love the area. The only things that really annoys me is that smoke from my neighbours cigarettes comes into my apartment. I think I could live with getting smoke on the balcony when they are smoking on their balconies, but when it gets into the apartment it is really disturbing. I have spoken to the landlord about it in case there was something you could do to the ventilation to prevent this, but obviously it isn't. Instead they sent out a note to everyone in the house to respect the neighbours and avoid smoking on the balcony. I can't say it has been working very well. Ok, on the one hand I admit I am a strong anti-smoker and would not mind if smoking was totally banned. On the other hand I realise the unrealistic in this and I don't want to forbid my neighbours to smoke on their balconies as I am generally not in favour of banning things (eventhough I do think it is equivavelnt to the general ban on grilling on balconies in Sweden.

However I got particlarly pissed off this morning when I found ashes and a cigarett butt on my balcony. I mean smoke is one thing, it is difficult to stop it from spreading, but if you smoke or have smoking guests at least you can use an ashtray!! Angrily I threw the butt off from my balcony down to the yard. The moment after the thought struck me that I ought to have thrown it down on my downstairs neighbours' balcony!! Their smoke is the one that bothers me the most. Of course I realise the butt can hardly come from them, but this would have been a (small) way of getting back on them. To show them that smoking on the balcony affects the neighbours and that it is pretty disgusting. Some kind of revenge by proxy.

I regretted I got this idea too late. But on the other hand, maybe I should be glad things like this is not the first thing that hits my mind. That I am above this kind of petty revenge...

Sceptical Net-shopper

ha ha, I just did something I never thought I would do! I bought make-up on internet!
I don't really know why I find that so funny, I do buy other things over the net, like books, music and tickets, but buying make-up over the net seems something teenagers or housewives in the province do, I mean I have access to all the fancy stores and even travel quite frequently hence can buy a lot on tax free.
But for some time now I have been looking for my favourite lipgloss from Clinique and everywhere they told me that this specific product and this specific colour is no longer available, that they simply stopped making it. As I really liked it I started looking for the similar colour by other brands, unsuccessful.
I had almost given up on it as I just thougt I might give it a try o search for it on the net. And voila!! There it was!! Not very cheap, but at least it existed. I was not familiar with the site as such and did not feel very comfortable giving all the personal details required and not at all giving my credit card number, but there were ways around that. So, now I will just have to wait and see if it lands in my post box. I am still a bit sceptical. Might be too good to be true... Let's wait and see...

As I don't have that much to write at the time I might at least post some pictures from my Normal life, from my home and my work.



My neighbourhood. You don't see my house though, it is just one block up from the quay. You can swim here.



The view from my office. Just opposite the royal castle!! The bridge looks a bit messy right now. I suppose they have to work hard on it to make it ready for the royal wedding next year.

Blog pause

I am sorry for not writing so much on the blog at the time. I just don't seem to havet the time.
New job takes a lot of time. Being in Stockholm and having a social life again takes the rest of my time. :-) And as long as the weather is ok, sitting at home in front of the computer is not the most temtping activity. Maybe next time there is a rain period...

My Cool Friend

One of the absolutely best things about Stockholm is that people pass by. Everyone living in Sweden or dealing with Sweden one way or the other, sooner or later comes to Stockholm. That means that by living here you get the chance to catch up with people every now and then. Today I met a good old friend that I haven’t seen in a long time. It was soo great!!
He was very important to me when I was a teenager. Then he was the coolest person I knew. In many ways he still is. I thing you might say he is as close to having a big brother as I ever get and today he said I am pretty much the younger sister he never had.
Before we met I wondered if I would still recognise him, but then I saw him on a long distance and there was no doubt. He still looks extremely cool and like no one else in the very posh area of Stockholm where we met. As I was coming straight from the office I did not feel very cool in my office outfit, but he was cool enough for both of us. After a while and a couple of beers and a whole lot of old memories later I almost started feeling cool too. It was so good to be reminded of that although I might now seem to be a boring bureaucrat I actually used to be cool once. We were talking about all the cool rock concerts that we went to, about when we saw The Sugarcubes at Brixton Academy in London or New Model Army on Gamle Port in Gothenburg (one of the guys in the band recently called on my friend and agreed on that that was one of their best gigs ever) etc etc…
We were talking about photography and movies and although I don’t do photo the way I used to and it was a long time I last went to the cinema, it was still good to have someone to talk about these things with. One of the reasons I don’t go to rock concerts anymore is that I don’t have anyone to go with. Anyway we agreed on that the most important thing is that one is still curious and that we both are.

One funny thing that happened was when a woman who had been sitting at the table next to us, together with two other women, came up to us just before they were leaving. She said that she thought we just looked so great, “the two of you are just sooo cool, you look great, your hair, your clothes, everything, you just got The Look.!! Are you from Stockholm??”. We were very surprised about this and had a great deal of fun about it afterwards, wondering if she had been serious or ironic. Maybe she thought us being the nerds of the place. And what was this question about if we were from Stockholm?! Did she actually mean what she said and thought maybe we were from London, New York or some other cool place?? Or was it obvious to her that we were from the province?! Anyway; we had a good laugh about it and a great evening!!

Disappointment at the gym

Today I was attending a spinning class at the gym, a class where you are connected to a pulse metre and can see your result on a screen at the front. I have a pulse metre and a pulse-watch of my own and use it sometimes, but have always had a feeling that there is something fishy about it. I haven’t measured my max-pulse only used the recommended estimate. According to the recommendations one should exercise at medium intensity of 70-80% of max-pulse most of the time and over that one can only work out very short periods. My problem is that I almost always exceed that limit. It is not at all unusual that I work out long periods on over 90%.

I have asked about this but never got a good explanation and therefore I of course came up with an explanation of my own, or rather two explanations. Either it must mean that I am extremely fit; or that my real age is actually at least ten years less that what’s written in my passport…

Today’s exercise showed the same result, i.e. I work out at a very high pulse level. Afterwards the leader of the class noted that some had of us had very high levels which could mean that the level was not correctly set. Maybe the max-pulse needed to be adjusted. Then she added that the level given is really only an estimate and that some people simply have a higher max-pulse and that this is genetically motivated, it doesn’t have anything to do with how fit you are or not. I am very disappointed…

Summer in Stockholm

Sometimes Stockholm is indeed an amazing city. Especially in summer. And I must say I really like the area where I live. It is not really in the city centre, but a very pleasant 20 minutes bicycle-ride takes me straight into the city where my work is.
50 metres from my flat you can swim in the lake or just sit at the bistro looking out over the water.
5 minutes away along my jogging path by the lake I could collect a boquet of lillies of the valley today.
And all over it all the hot-air balloons fly silently. It is great!

Potami beach

Had a wonderful holiday on Samos. One day I rented a car and travelled around the island and came to Potami beach. As it is still the beginning of the season the beach was almost empty. Lovely! Clear (and cooling) water in the hot sun. Wouldn't have minded staying longer.

Change - again

Today was kind of the last day at work, at least for a while. Ok, I am working tomorrow as well, but will spend the whole day out of office on a seminar. I will have to go back on Monday as well to finish some things but I do actually start my holiday on Monday and then June 1 I start my other job.
I am really looking forward to start my new work, but the funny thing is I have looked forward to it so much now, I haven’t really thought about that it also means changing colleagues again. It struck me just this Tuesday when we came back from a two days conference with our whole unit, i.e. both my old and current colleagues. After a month and a half at the new office I have started to get to know the colleagues there better and like them as well. But now I will have to change again. It is actually rather energy consuming. It is the third time I change colleagues (and work in a way) in six months. I really look forward to my holiday and the new job and hope I will be able to focus and give 100%. I am fed up with the limbo-situation I have been in for quite some time.

Holiday plans

After some back and forth on what to do on my holiday I finally booked a trip to Greece yesterday. So after planning for Jerusalem, Addis Abeba, Italy, Belgrade and Crete it finally was Samos. I don’t know anything about the place, but it looked nice. And since I am travelling on my own and don’t have either much time nor money there was not so much to choose between. But I think it will be fine. I have a small apartment on my own and I am looking forward to just lay on the beach or by the pool and read my books. I don’t really have much need for social stimuli or action. I think it will be just what I need before I start my new job. Just to delete and reset.

What's a bit funny however, is the fact that I; who until this year never had been on a charter-trip, am going on my second in matter of four months. Eventhough I was not so very impressed by the concept th first time. Ok, I am not really taking part in the social part of it, to me it is just an easy and cheep way to get somewhere on a short notice without having to thing too much. With good books ans good music on my ipod I think I will survive.

If anyone of you have been to Samos and have some good tips on the island, please let me know.

Luxury Problem

I have something of a luxury-problem. At the same time it is sort of tragic. I don’t know what to do on my holiday!
Because I am about to change jobs I have no real summer holiday, but have two weeks now at the end of May. I would like to go somewhere and really relax. The thing is only that none of my friends have holiday then, so I have no-one to travel with. Travelling alone is not a problem for me, I have done it quite a lot, but it is terribly boring to plan a week’s holiday on your own. Therefore I thought about go and visit someone of my friends living abroad. I had plans for Jerusalem and Addis Abeba, but that did not work out for different reasons. Left are still the options Italy and Belgrade. There are things happening in both places that would be nice to take part in. At the same time I would really like just to take a last minute trip to some Greek island or Spain or Egypt or something and just lay on the beach or by the pool and read my books.
I need to make plans and book soon, but I am just too tired to think and make any decision about it. The last week work has been very draining. It has been very intense and I have worked late every day. After work I have either worked out or had some social thing meaning I have come home very late every day and with the very slow internet connection I am just too tired to start looking for suitable tickets. Maybe I will just do it the old-fashioned way and contact a travel agency.

Getting used

Now I am happy and I realise I did the right thing when I decided to have an inauguration party of my new flat the very first day I had access to it. Of course it was very minimalist and simple, but it was most likely the very first party in this building ever. More important I realise that if I would have waited until the place as completely furnished and decorated before I would have a real house warming party, I would have to wait long.
I am getting used to the place only semi-finished. And seriously; I start to think cardboard boxes are badly underestimated as furniture and decoration details. I mean; what is wrong with having a cardboard box as a bedside table?! Especially as it is a combined storage for things like my riding helmet, sleeping bag and mosquito net!? And with a nice table cloth it can look really nice.
And why should I have to find a place to stuff all my winter coats and boots away as long as I can still enter the apartment even if I have to step over a heap of them just inside the door.

Well I guess I am getting used to it…

The Flu, The Media and The People

Today I got involved in the preparedness work for the possibly pandemic swine flu. This is completely new to me, but it is quite interesting to see how these things work. It is also quite interesting to see how the media work from this perspective.

Ok, it was a very long time since I trusted what media reported, not since I worked with migration matters. But still this is new! The whole day I sat in conferenses with the responsible authorities and in our situation room. Still I get to hear a completely different story in the evening news on tv. Although they were referring to the same authorities and the information basically the same, the angle was quite different and it gave quite a different picture. But of course; if they would have just said what the authorities said and only talked about the confirmed cases it would not have been that spectacular and sensational...

However, I might not be the most suitable person to work with these matters. I might just be "too cool", I am just not the worrying kind. What I worry most about right now is that I might have to work this weekend. Instead of having a real long weekend. :-(

But on the other had there are persons who just worry too much. One of my colleagies got a call today from a person who wanted to know where he could find the hoarding lists. It took my colleague quite some time to figure out what the person meant, bt obviously he thought there were lists on things one might need to hoard in case one would get isolated. It took her even longer time to explain that there are no such lists and there is no reason for such lists and there will be no such lists nor reason to get isolated etc etc...

Haväng

Had a lovely walk along the sea this morning in Haväng in south Sweden.

I need to find a way to get a house by the sea!! This is the way I want to live.

Spring in the City

Today was the first really warm and sunny day of spring this year. And as today was also the day of the month when most employees in Sweden get their pay, all bars and especially the ones with some kind of terrass or garden, were completely crowded. The whole city was enjoying itself in the sun.

I had made plans with a friend of mine to go for an after work drink. Later I was offered the opportunity to also join some colleagues for a drink, but as I had decided with my friend first I stood by that plan. While on the way to see her, another friend called as well as my sister and they both joined for a drink. I also got another offer to join another friend for a drink, that I had to reject.

I still can't believe my joy of having all those choises! It is such a difference from life in The Small Town, I can not believe it.

Too Old for the New Media??

I admit my technological ignorance; or as someone said today “I fully realise I am standing with all feet in the world of dying media”.

Even though I do occasionally blog and I am present on Facebook I am a rookie on social digital media. Therefore it is quite funny that I, who only had heard about something called twitter, but had no real idea what it is really about, in one day both attended a seminar and later followed a debate on TV about twitter (and other similar media). The seminar was called Facebook – in face of disaster and was about the roll these new media play and could play in disaster/crisis management. It was actually very interesting and opened the eyes on many, if not all of us, attending. I never thought about it as something professionally useful. Maybe that is the real sign of what generation one belongs to, not if you use it or not, but the matter of importance or meaning it has to you. For me, these things never seem really serious or trustworthy, it’s only for fun.

On the other hand; the lecturer showed some rather interesting statistics. According to those figures it is not mostly the young – teenagers- that use twitter. The largest group of users was the group 25-49. I don’t really know how to interpret that. Does it mean I am unusually old-fashioned even in my own age group?!

Disaster Management at the Office

As my job is connected to disaster/crisis management it seems logical that there is a disaster-film-club at the office. The films shown by the club should be disasters in double meaning, i.e. be about disaster and be disastrously bad, i.e. real turkeys. Today they showed Rymdinvasion i Lappland (Space invasion in Lappland) from 1959. The film is Swedish but the dialogue is in (bad) English as it is a Swedish-American production. However I am not surprised it did not make it in Hollywood. In fact I don’t think it made it anywhere. The film is disastrously bad and hilariously funny! If you like turkey-films. It made me think of Plan 9 from outer space. The story, in case you can call it a story is incredibly thin and there are plenty of long scenes of skiing on the mountain and some completely unmotivated scenes of skating and a lady in the shower. It is just funny and simply impossible to describe.

www.imdb.com/title/tt0053232
www.vujer.com/filmer/rymdinvasion_i_lappland_1958
www.russin.nu/filmview.php?filmid=1151

To add to the somewhat surreal atmosphere at our show the sound only worked the first three minutes on our copy. There was no way we could make it work, but since we had all gathered and started drinking some wine and as the film had subtitles we decided to watch it anyway. When we got tired of the silence one of my colleagues started adding music that he streamed from Spotify. I must say he did a terrific job. He started out with some Bond-music, which worked splendidly! We realised this must be the original Bond!! Then he changed into such different tunes as Thriller, Fly me to the moon and Det är så hälsosamt och stärkande i fjällen. It was a long time since I laughed that much. The comments from the audience also added some extra touch as we interpreted it all from a crisis management perspective with jokes that maybe only we could understand.

There was also a somewhat funny interlude to the show. The film club had promised some drinks and popcorn. I don’t know exactly what they did when they wanted to pop the popcorn, but all of a sudden the fire alarm went off and there was a terrible stench in our corridor. It seems they had burned the popcorn so badly all three microwave ovens were completely destroyed. As we very rapidly could establish the reason for the alarm and the smell we did not evacuate but continued working. Someone called back to SOS Alarm to inform them about the reason and say they did not have to send the fire brigade. But obviously it was too late or rather they had to come as it was an automatically generated alarm and we all had to evacuate. This was actually a bit embarrassing but also funny. Our office is really right in the centre of Stockholm and it is rather big so when all the people gathered in the street and then of course when the fire brigade came, it caused quite some attention. I can imagine people would find it quite amusing if they knew what happened and who caused it.

Hard Times in Fashion and Beauty

Today I went to the hairdresser to have a haircut and some new highlights. While waiting for the highlights go get ready I was reading an issue of Vogue. I hardly ever read this kind of magazines to it was a rather new and interesting experience. Are there really people who find it worth spending time and money on this kind of shit?! And are there really people living like those described there!? And I am not really thinking about the stars and starlets written about.

Most of it was of course “the usual” fashion and beauty tips, most of it for astronomical prices, but it was the articles that fascinated me most. There was among other one article on how to save on beauty in times of financial crisis. The article noted that some people cut down on cosmetical surgery and noted that at least some choose not to make the bigger operations but only lesser corrections. One woman could just not think of stopping having her botox, she only asked the surgeon not to tell her husband and paid in cash. One saved on manicure and let it go twice the time between the sessions, another went from going to the hairdresser every third week to have it done only every fifth week. Wow, just imagine what hard times these ladies must be going through!!

Spring Dilemma

I am feeling caught in a dilemma! With the arrival of spring and sun I feel full of energy and inspiration. I would like to go jogging again as I have now found a very nice 9 km round. I would like to get started going to the gym again, or find a golf club, or go for after work, or cinema or or or…. At the same time I have caught a cold again and feel completely exhausted and just want to drop dead on the sofa straight after work. That is very frustrating!

Simply Happy!

I haven’t been blogging for quite some time, simply because I haven’t had the time! Since I moved to Stockholm I have a life in the real world and less time to spend behind the computer after work. That is good!!
It is so great to have a life and have friends outside the office. I do miss my old colleagues but it feels great to catch up with my “normal friends”. Last week I worked four days and went for after work three days and had a wonderful social weekend. I really like my new apartment and my new neighbourhood. I love to ride my bike to and from work and I simply feel happy just to be here. It almost feels a bit ridiculous to walk around with a stupid smile on my face. I wonder when it will end. But not too much! Right now I just enjoy!

Closing the chapter The Small Town

I have promised that before I moved from The Small Town I would actually list some of the GOOD things about The Small Town. Now that did not really happen, because today I officially, definitely and irreversibly moved from The Small Town!!! I am closing that chapter of my life and it feels GOOD!!!

Anyway, as a way of closing the chapter The Small Town I will list some of the good things:

Good things in/about The Small Town:
• The art museum. Small, but very nice. Beautifully situated by the lake. Interesting and ambitious exhibitions. Nice café and shop.
• The golf club. Ok it’s the only one I have been a member of, but it seems nice
• The cat asylum. Lovely place where you are welcome just to cuddle a cat when you need to. Nice people taken care of stray/abused/”left-over” cats. Made a charming calendar and write ads for the cats that makes your hart melt
• That you can by my favourite ice-cream; Klings

Logistical Mess

I could never imagine the trouble the badly timed car-crash caused. I will not go into details here, they are far too many and too complicated, but since the car is now in the workshop I am without a car. As I have lived most of my adult life without a car I did not think that would be a problem, but then of course I didn’t live in The Small Town and worked 45 km away. There are trains and busses so I didn’t think it would be a problem, but then again, of course I didn’t know this would coincide with my move to Stockholm. And of course the repairs are taking longer than they first said, meaning I am without car this weekend as well. After having spent loads of time on the phone with the insurance company and almost all car rentals in the region I managed to get a car for this week and a small truck for the move this weekend. But I assure you it is no easy thing! What makes it more complicated is that there is no car rental in The Small Town that has normal cars, but only trucks and trailers. So now I have rented a car in The Somewhat Bigger Town and for Sunday a truck in The Small Town, the transportation in-between is not really solved yet, but I felt quite happy with the solution anyway. Then tonight I realised I will have a problem to pick my own car up from the workshop next week. The workshop is in The Small Town and is open 7-16, but next week I am duty-officer which means I have to be in the office 45 km away between 8-18. Of course I could then pick the car up at 7 before I go to work, but as I can not be without a car in case anything would happen at work I will have the duty-car, which means I will then have two cars!!
So either one car too few or one too many, or in the wrong place!!!
Oh I get so tired!!

My NEW Home

So, finally I got access to my NEW Stockholm apartment!! Got the key on Friday at lunch time and the same evening I had the inauguration with some friends over for champagne. I really believe that was the first party EVER in that building. That’s a cool feeling!
Some of my new neighbours obviously found it more important to get their furniture and stuff in place fist, but my priorities are friends and champagne over furniture. The furniture and other things will come next weekend.

I must say I am very happy with my NEW place. The last nights before I came here I had nightmares about it not being what I expected. But it is actually very nice. It is not, but well planned and at least the balcony was much bigger than I expected. There might be little too little wardrobes and cupboards for my clothes and shoes, but I will solve that somehow. And most of all it is NEW!! It even smells new! There are no smells from previous tenants. What ever I do here I am the first person to do it. When I was taking a bath I was looking at the tiles at the wall thinking that every one of them is new. None of them have any stains from water or soap. When I was emptying the bathtub I just happened to look down the outflow and noticed that the drain was absolutely WHITE. Not a stain, no old remains from soap and hair. Amazing!!

With this there is of course also a risk that one gets a bit neurotic and start thinking this is the way it has to remain and that one could get some kind of cleaning mania, as every stain and crack from here on is because of me. Not that I can really see myself having a cleaning mania, but nevertheless I thought it was safest to do what I can to prevent that and the inauguration party could be seen as serving that purpose. With eleven adults, one baby and seven bottles of champagne there can always be someone else to blame. 

March 8

Well, I just felt I had to write something about women and feminism today; the 8 March, International Women’s day. I can not say I have done anything to celebrate it or taken any political action to improve women’s situation today. Not that I use to either, but today I felt rather miserable because of a cold that I caught more than a wee ago and that is not getting any better and on top of that the weather is also absolutely miserable so I stayed inside the whole day and spent quite some time in bed or on the couch reading.

Very suitable however, the book that I am reading is dealing a lot with feminism and related issues and a big part of the book relates to manifestations held or planned to be held in Belgrade on March 8, 2008. The book is written by a friend of mine, who I met when I was living in Belgrade in 2005, but as the book is written later I don’t know the people she is writing about nor was I there when the things took place. However it is very interesting to read. I know the places she writes about and I feel I would have liked to get to know the people. The book shows the situation for feminists, gay and queer activists in a rather traditional, patriarchal society during times of strong nationalistic influence. I am impressed by the energy and the commitment of these persons and also of their sense for enjoying life. I wonder what I would have been like if I had been living as they did in Serbia during the 90.s.

Reading the book also got me thinking about what it means to be different and about group identity. This is anyway one of my favourite topics and something I have been discussing a lot recently with a gay friend of mine. Since I moved to The Small Town I have felt very very different from my surrounding. I can describe it like being a non-fitting part of a puzzle. The colour looks the same so you might think you fit, but every time you try to fit in you realise that there is no way you ever will and for every time you try your own shape threatens to get misshaped and it hurts. It feels like running head first in to a wall, time after time. My friend had the same feeling; he explained it like being among people who speak your language yet you don’t understand what they say and they don’t understand you. I think he had the feeling much of this was because he is gay and that might not be so easy in any small town. But I claim that is not the full explanation. I am as “normal” as you can be in this place, white, Swedish, heterosexual, not physically handicapped and even born in a small place in Sweden. So there is actually no “obvious reason” why I should not fit in here, and still it is absolutely not possible…

It is all a state of mind. How you feel about who you are and what you are. I find it very interesting to think about how important it is to us humans to fit in and to find some kind of belonging, no matter how different we think we are. Sometimes I think this is even more obvious in small towns. Inevitably you will find in every small town a group of people who think they are very different. The thing is only that they, among themselves all look the same. There are those clusters of “different” people. They might think they differ from the rest, but in the group they are all rather similar. They might dress the same way, eat the same kind of food, listen to the same kind of music, and vote for the same party etc etc. Hence they are rather predictable.

I don’t know a lot about queer-theory, but I find it very interesting and appealing. However also within the queer groups there is certain conformity. You have to be queer the “right” way. This was something that (again) struck me reading the book. There was a chapter about the joy and disappointment among the queer/gay/feminist community in Serbia after Marija Serifovic won the Eurovision Song Contest in 2007. The community hoped that this victory might be a positive force for their cause, her being lesbian and not representing the standard Serbian female ideal. Therefore the disappointment was big when she didn’t seem to want to play that part, but instead even performed at an election campaign for the radical party. I can understand the disappointment that anyone, no matter who, is campaigning for the Serbian radical party, but still I can not help to think that this is really queer. Here’s a Serbian, lesbian, of roma ethnicity, who just won the Eurovision Song Contest and not with some turbo-folk song, and who does not look like a traditional Serbian female star, but still supports the radicals. I want to once more stress that I don’t share or even understand her political choice and I can understand those who would have liked her to take another stand, but still I think this is queer. Isn’t it?! It is very unexpected and unpredictable. And isn’t that a lot what queer is about?! And what feminism is about?! The right to be who you are and make your own choices free from pre-set patterns and expectations?!

I believe it is, and one of the queerest persons I have ever met was a white, straight German guy who would not stand out in a crowd by his looks. He was (and I guess still is) a vegetarian and strong supporter of the German green party, which fits nicely together, but at the same time he was also an almost fanatic football fan and devoted fan of country music. To me that is a very unexpected combination and therefore queer.

So; cheers to all you wonderful unique individuals out there! No matter who or what you are I hope you will have the right to continue to be who and what you are and please, be kind to and respect each other.

Love

Feeding the Monster

I must be a bit mad or something. Or at least I definitely seem to have a small monster living in my head. Just as things seem to sort out nicely and get in place, I mean work wise and house wise, I start thinking about how nice it would be to work abroad again. The last couple of days I have been thinking a lot about where I would like to go and for how long. I definitely suffer from what in Swedish might be called “någonannanstanslängtan”, the constant longing to be somewhere else. I would really prefer to have a contract over one year, maybe two or three would be ideal. I am not so much into the three to six months contracts that could have been an alternative. I really would like so stay a bit longer in a country, to really get to know some of it, learn about the history, the people, politics and culture in a more in-depth way.

But what do I do then when this monster start calling me to get moving again? Do I tell it to shut up or tell it to crawl away back into some forgotten corner of my mind? No of course not. As the kind and generous host I am to this monster, I feed it. I pick up contact with my friends who live and work abroad and take pleasure in hearing about their life. I read about countries where I have been living and keep reminding myself of what fun I had there and then. I look at the pictures and start thinking about where I would like to go and looking for interesting jobs to apply for. At the same time as I feel so relived not having to constantly look for other jobs and thinking about where to go next, that is what I constantly do. Today I found a job that I would really love and that I have more or less been waiting for, in a country where I would really like to work. But I won’t apply for it!! I will have to stop my self from applying for it. I really have things going for me now and should not make it harder for me.

Stupid monster!! Why can I not just be happy and satisfied being in one place? Other people seem to be.I suppose I will have to make some kind of deal with the monster, as I know it will most probably not just go away. I really plan to stay in Stockholm all of 2009 and I think I would also like to stay at least for the first half of 2010. If I try to get to travel a bit during my holidays and if I continue to feed the monster small portions I hope it will stay reasonably calm and docile.

Hallelujah!!

On the (long and boring) way back from work today I suddenly came to the wonderful insight that this weekend is the last I spend in The Small Town!!!! Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!
Can hardly beleive it is true!!

Out of Synch

Not that this is any news, but recently I have again seen the confirmation of me being so out of synch with the rest of the world. Just to take a small example:
Last week our crown-princess announced that she and her long time boyfriend now will get married. Of course the media was all head over heels over that and there were lot of comments on what this might mean to society in general and the monarchy in particular. The general opinion was that this would mean a wave of good-will and a strengthened position for the royal family and the monarchy and that the republicans (albeit already rather weak in Sweden) will have some though years ahead.

I am by now means a republican although I would not really call myself a monarchist either. I just think as long as the royal family themselves put up with the situation and as long as they don’t make too much of an embarrassment of themselves they can stay and I do prefer them to a politically elected president. (I can go into the reasons for that at some other time). However, the interview where the happy couple announced their engagement made me actually feel more like a republican and less in support for the monarchy. It felt so awkward and archaic. Especially the way the boyfriend had to call his wife-to-be “the crown-princess”. Maybe it felt more awkward and unnatural just because they, as persons, seem to be so very normal and un-royal. Anyway; I noted that my reaction seemed to be absolutely the opposite from the rest of the country. Even though I might not stretch it as far as one of my colleagues who called me “hard, cold and peculiar” because I did not cry at the announcement.

Another example, that might be more significant for my life not being in synch with the rest of the world, concerns the financial situation. I must say that I have personally not noticed the financial crisis at all. Maybe because I don’t really have a financial situation at all, I don’t have any assets or debts, I still have a job and money comes in the 25.th every month and is gone at the end of the next month, nothing new about that. Our minister for employment got famous for predicting year 2009 to become a “shit-year”. Well, from what I know now, my 2009 looks pretty promising.

Growing up..

Somehow I felt that the fact that I, for the first time (ever?!), will have a good job on a permanent contract, as well as an apartment of my own in a place where I actually can see myself living, maybe meant that I was about to grow up and maybe become an adult. But when I see the list in the previous post I am no longer so sure…

Technical Adivce Wanted

Right now I feel the need to modernise the technical standard of my home (life!?). Partly because I will be moving into my new apartment and partly because some things I don’t have or the old stuff I have is not working very well any more, but to no extent whatsoever because I am interested in new technical stuff!! Therefore I really would appreciate if anyone out there hade some good suggestions and tips on what to buy or what to think about when buying:
• Dishwasher
• Camera
• TV
• Vacuum cleaner
• Lap top or at least upgrading the old one

While at it I could also appreciate some good advice on insurances and how and where to keep your savings at times like these…

News??

On the news I just heard about a result from a big research project on diets and weight loss. It is apparently the most extensive research project ever made on the matter. Very surprisingly (?) the conclusion of the project was that no diets work, either low-carb, Atkin’s, GI or any other of all the numerous available diets. The only thing that works if you want to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. Who’s surprised?! That’s what I have always said; it is all a matter of input and output, plus and minus. Why would it be any other way?!

Praise to the People!

Just happened to get stuck in front of the TV broadcasting the Academy Awards. I normally don’t care that much for it and normally don’t watch the show. I do like film but the circus around it is not so much my thing. Nevertheless I got a bit moved by some of the speeches. Not so much the somewhat over emotional thank-speeches, but more so the motivations for the nominations. I found it great to great actors making speeches about how great the other actors are. I believe we all would need some more speeches where we get to hear what wonderful persons, colleagues, professionals, men and women we are…
Ok, you might get to hear some of that when getting married, retire or at your funeral, but wouldn’t it be nice to get to really hear get to it!? So; make more speeches to honour the people that mean something to you!!

New Office

I must say I am not looking forward to become a commuter. From tomorrow I will be working 45 km from where I am living. There are bus and train connections but not very good ones. We are still a few living in The Small Town so for a start we can travel together by car, but of course it is a bit in convenient that exactly now when I really need the car for the first time, it is not working very well… and anyway it means lost of time and having to get up earlier in the morning. So not my thing!

I don’t really look forward to unpacking and getting used to a new office again, and only for a couple of weeks, either. Buy I guess I will have to think about it not being for very long. I am counting the days.

The First of Last Days

Because things have been a bit crazy lately I hardly noticed something that is quite amazing when you think about it. Yesterday I worked the last day in The Small Town!!
The office is moving to The Somewhat Bigger Town this weekend and from Monday that is where I will be working. Ok I will still live in The Small Town for a while, so that is maybe one reason why it did not feel that overwhelming, but it is only a matter of a month or so, then I will be in Stockholm and I will be having a life again!!
There is light at the end of the tunnel!
And it is not the train coming...

A Crazy Day

There have been some crazy days. A lot has happened, most of it actually quite good. I will tell more about it. But yesterday I got a proof of that you are never allowed be completely happy. After a very good day I felt exuberant and to celebrate things I asked some colleagues over for dinner and wine. Before that I went down to town to buy some sparkling and food stuff.

In The Small Town there are a few rather awkward crossings, but after living here for a while you know them pretty well and know what rules here are. Just before where I wanted to park there is a four-way-stop, very unusual in Sweden. I stopped and as it was rather late there were no cars so I drove again. When in the middle of the crossing a car is coming from the right and does not stop at all but just crashes in to the front of my car. As none of us were driving very fast the crash was not that bad, but of course you get a bit upset. I got angry because I knew I had done no wrong and it was entirely his fault. The other driver also got upset at first as he thought he was right while coming from the right. But when I told him to go back and have a look at the sign he changed his mind realising it was his fault. We solved the situation amicable and none was really that angry any longer, although not very happy either of course. His car was actually worse damaged and then of course he will bear all the costs. But most important of course, there were no personal injuries.

Today I called the other driver to discuss how to proceed with the matter. It was actually a rather nice conversation. I was a bit worried that he might have changed his mind about who caused the accident, but that was no issue. He just said he was very angry with himself as he was the sole cause of the accident. He also said that after all, he was happy that if something like this must happen, he was glad it was with someone as nice as me! And that he was impressed that I didn’t get angry with him, as he would have freaked out completely if it happened to him. I told him that it was most likely because I had had a good day up till then and that helped…

Skiing

Today I actually took advantage of living in the middle of nowhere. Both today and yesterday were fabulously beautiful winter days, with white glistening snow, blue sky and sunshine. Therefor I went for a spontanous skiing trip on my own. Just a short drive and three hours skiing in the afternoon. Not bad!! Good for the first skiing of the season.
While skiing though, I remembered that the last time I was skiing was not last winter, but this summer. Indoors. In Dubai. Weird!

Stuck in a Pattern

Sometimes it is easy to get stuck in behavioural patterns. I believe most people have at some time or another felt that you are doing the same mistakes over and over again. This is no less true for relations. I have spoken to many friends about to what extent failed relations is the result of a pattern of action or pattern of how you choose your partner. But it is one thing to have a vague perception of that you might have a pattern that might not be very helpful for you. Because I mean, if you do what you always have done, you get what you always get. Then there is not much opening for a change. But becoming aware of exactly what your pattern consists of and how to change it is a completely different thing.

Therefore it was kind of satisfying or maybe at least amusing when a friend of mine told me some gossip about a former boyfriend of mine today. Talking about being stuck in a pattern!! She told me that he had recently broken up with the girl he met quite soon after we split. And not long after this break-up, or maybe even before, she wasn’t sure; he got together with another girl. The whole break-up and the whole story about the new girlfriend showed all the signs of a very familiar pattern. I can’t help wondering if they are going to Italy this spring…

Stuck

I am stuck in The Small Town this weekend, totally against my will, because I am duty officer this weekend. It really feels like being electronically tagged. After some insistence I managed to get some clear information on how far away from the office I am allowed to go. I found out that in case something would happen that can not be solved over the phone and mobile internet I have to be in the office in less than 90 minutes. I realised that is enough to be able to join my sister and her family to the closest skiing area tomorrow. Great!! I could get out and get some fresh air, sun, skiing and social stimuli. It suddenly all felt quite ok again. Therefore I got quite disappointed when my sister called tonight and told me they had some problems with their car and didn’t feel really comfortable to go for a longer drive before they had the chance to check it up. So skiing is off. And I am stuck in The Small Town again. :-(

Seeing the Light

I am finally seeing it again. The light that slowly started to glimmer at the end of the tunnel during autumn, but then rapidly faded in December and during the beginning of this year has been alarmingly absent. The light; meaning moving away from The Small Town.
Yesterday I received the information that I will receive the key and be able to move into my new apartment in Stockholm in exactly one month!! And yesterday, as well as today my boss confirmed that I will be transferred to Stockholm some time during March, although the exact date is yet not fixed. So, slowly I am returning to life.

The job might still not be what I want to do, and I am afraid t won’t get better in Sthlm, but I will be there!! I will be able to have a normal life outside work!! That’s a good start!!

Homesick

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my new apartment. It is not so long before I really can move in and what once seemed very distant and unreal is actually happening. Now the job-thing actually seems to work out as well, so things are quite good. Still I can’t help worry a little as well.

I think, dream and long for my new flat basically every day. I think about how to place the furniture, about finally hanging pictures on the walls, about really getting things that I like. Longing for my new bathtub, dreaming about getting a dishwasher etc etc. Not to mention the fact that I will be able to live somewhere where I can have a normal life, where I can meet my friends and go out with them and still get back to my own place, not having to sleep over on someone’s mattress or sofa. I will also be able to get active in some organisation or take a evening course or something like that because I know I might actually be around for a while, not constantly on the move. For the first time in a long time (maybe really the first time) I am moving to something instead of moving away from something.

At the same time all these expectations make me feel a bit afraid that I might get disappointed. I still haven’t seen the apartment and what if I don’t like it when I see it! What if it is dark, if I find it tiny and ugly?! What if it has paper walls and the neighbours are loud?! Well, somehow I believe it can not be wrong and it can not be bad, but all the expectation open up for disappointment.

Madonna in Gothenburg

I am happy to hear Madonna is playing in Sweden this summer. On August 9 on Ullevi, Gothenburg. I would really love to go there, but I doubt I will find anyone of my friends who want to join me. :-(

If I am wrong, please let me know asap. Tickets will be released February 9.

Disturbing Silence

Yesterday night I had real difficulties to fall asleep, which is rather unusual. I could not really figure out why, because there was nothig really disturbing me. Then I realised exaclty that was the problem. It was too silent! It was completely silent, not one single sound.

Now you might say it is good that it is silent when you should sleep, but this is really too silent. When people say the enjoy silence they often refer to being somewhere in the wild, far away from civilization, but that is not entirely silent. There you might have birds, wind and water running, but this place is completely silent. That is really scary. It makes you wonder if you are already dead.

This is nothing new, it has always been that way, but after one week of the wonderful sound of the waves of the ocean, the wind and crickets zirping outside your bedroom I found this silence very hard to stand. I even prefer the distand buzz of city traffic. Can't wait to move away from here!!

Readings of the Hand

On Cape Verde I met this Senegalese man who said he could read your future from the palm of your hand. I am a natural sceptic and don’t believe much in these things, but still I let him have a short glimpse of my left hand and then he said that he saw things that he could only tell me in private. As I just saw this as a very cheap pick-up-trick, I did not care much about it. My friend however, believes much more in this kind of things and she kept reminding him about it and just before we left the island, we passed by his store and then he told me. He told me a lot of things that I won’t write about here, but one thing he said, that came to my mind again when I wrote the previous post, was that he told me to have more contact to my family. He told me to call my mother or my sisters every day. I answered laughing that my mother would probably get seriously worried if I started calling her every day, but considering what I learnt today, maybe I actually should call a little more often.

The No-Information War

It seems my mother and I are having some kind of information war, or rather a no-information war. Today when I called to let her know I am back from Cape Verde I learnt from my father that my mother is in Finland. I had no idea she was going there!! He also told me she is coming back on Tuesday as she is having an operation I never had heard of on Wednesday. He also told me about some other medical issues I did not know about.

Normally my mother and I do speak rather frequently, but I know that she has had some complaints about me not calling often enough. Normally when she thinks I haven’t called in a long time she calls me, but lately I have noticed that she doesn’t. I guess that is where the war started. “I won’t call you if you don’t call me!”

Maybe this is the revenge for me forgetting to tell her that I was going to Afghanistan in June and only remembered to call when I was already on my way to the airport. I know that was probably not so good and most mothers would probably have freaked out! This new year it happened again, albeit less dramatic. I forgot to tell her that I was going to Frankfurt and she only found out when she called on New Years Eve to wish me happy New Year. On the other hand; we are obviously quite alike and it is probably from her that I have this way, so what can she say!?

Back from Cape Verde

So, now I am back from Cape Verde. We got back early Friday morning and it already feels unreal to have been there and now being back in the cold, rain, snow and darkness of The Small Town...
It wasn't very hot on Cape Verde and very, very windy, but at least we got some sun, sea, light and warmth. It was a very nice trip and I will write more about it on the travel blog. Pictures will have to wait though, as we got robbed and my camera got stolen :-(. But my friend still had her camer and once she has sent me some pictures I will post some.

Unbelievable...

Can't believe I did it, but I was out jogging with two colleagues this morning. At six o clock, in three degrees, rain, darkness and hard wind. But it feels good afterwards...

Work Worries

After the two first weeks at the new job I am feeling more and more worried. This far I have had absolutely nothing to do and I have no idea what to to. Fortunately I will only work two more days before my holiday, if not I would have gone mad. Ok, if not I would probably make more of an effort to find something to do, but now I wait till after my holiday. What worries me more however, is that everything I learn about the new job gives me the feeling "this is not what I want to do!!" The new job does not interest me at all and I can not see what I could bring to it and how my knowing and experience could be valuable. That makes me really worried. The only reason for me ever to be here was that I had an interesting job, if not it will be absolutely unbearable. I need to get away from here!! Please!! I hope something good will happen soon!!

Coming Soon!!

Oh!!! I am sooo looking forward to my holiday next week!! Or actually, it is beginning already on Thursday. I am going to Cape Verde with a friend of mine and it will be soooo nice!!
I want some sun and beach and just relax properly. The weather outside my window right now is just terribly, wet, windy and cold ant it is still pretty dark, at 9.45 in the morning!! And work is boring and very unstimulating at the moment, so I just can't wait to get away!!

Don't know very much about Cape Verde though, so if anyone of you has been there, please feel free to share some tips and suggestions. I was getting in the mood yesterday by listening to Césaria Évora. Very nice!!

Small Town Pictures. Nice Ones

Earlier I promised to post some nice pictures from The Small Town as well, but then something happened that made me change my mind... but here they are. Some pictures from a sunny winter day. Idyllic, isn't it!?

My Christmas Tree

Just wanted to show that I did have some Christmas decoration after all!!

What's new?

So, new year and a new job. Well the new job doesn’t really feel very new yet. I sit in the same office and have some new colleagues, but I have been working with them before, albeit not so closely. I have a new boss and will have completely new work assignments but this far I have hardly met my boss and I really don’t know what I am expected to do. The biggest difference was our new network platform and new e-mail and of course it did not work very well the first day everyone was in office, will see how long it takes. It is quite challenging and energy consuming to reorganise this frequently, but that seems the standard story of public administration.

Apart from this, nothing much has happened. Hence the blog silence. Caught a nasty cold the day before Christmas and spent most of the holiday to recover from that. Managed to get to Frankfurt over New Year though, and that was really nice. I will post some nice Frankfurt photos soon, most probably on the Travel blog.

Something that might be new is my early morning jogging. It was easy to get up and go walking or jogging before breakfast during holiday, when I did not get up until 10 or 11. But can you imagine that this morning I got up at 6 and went out jogging!! But alright, once doesn’t make it a habit, does it?!